A Coaching Journey
My Personal Growth and Self Discovery
I grew up in a rural community near Alexandria, Minnesota, and the family business was lite road construction. We lived on a small 7-acre hobby farm with cows, chickens, ducks, geese, and whatever I captured as a young boy. Growing up, I was responsible for taking care of the cows to feed them, the summer fence in the paster project, and the barn’s cleaning in the winter. A family value was the size of your calluses on your palms meant that you were a good worker. There were entire weekends dedicated to pitching shit in a barn that I will never get that time back. As a result, I developed a disdain for country life. Luminus = There’s a reason for Supermarkets to exist.
Farming was the most respected career in the local community; the harder you worked, the bigger your farm equated to the level of respect in the local community. Some of the values were work ethic, telling stories, persistence, hierarchy, and BSing. If the neighbor told an account, it had to be true, and it was your job to spread the truth and tell everyone you know. This was the internet at the time, and the local internet is alive and well today. I had a flashback of telling my 3rd-grade classmates how we fixed the political system over the weekend. I was astounded that 3rd Graders didn’t get it and if only they could only hear this insight first hand. In hindsight, if 3rd graders rejected, it must have been advanced stuff. Luminus = don’t believe everything you hear.
As a young boy, I was always fascinated by electronics and computers. I had Uncle Bob that helped feed my fascination and curiosity. My Uncle Bob helped me purchase my first computer in 6th Grade. It was a Radio Shack MC-10 with 4K of RAM. To use the computer, it required a B&W 13 Inch Television and a cassette recorder. There was no Hard Drive, and to save your program, it used an audio cassette tape. If the volume on the cassette recorder weren’t saved at the right level, the Basic program you wrote over the past 3 hours would be gone, another learning of perseverance and trial and error. More importantly, I think I learned the lesson here to experiment in small batches. In my JR year of High School, I bought an Apple II+ under the disguise that I would do my class homework at home. In reality, it was a way for me to play the Apple II+ games. Those classic games like Load Runner, Joust, or Oregon Trail sparked my curiosity and confirmed my career choice. Thank you, Uncle Bob, once again for helping me find the 2nd computer. And, more importantly, establishing the groundwork for my 1st career. Luminus = Establish Systems to feed your persistence and will to move mountains
Early in my life, I was: suppressed, marginalized, gaslight, told you’re not smart, verbally/physically abused, run-down, teased, ridiculed, outcasted, and disregarded. As a result, I wasn’t in the popular crowd and was quite awkward socially. Also, I learned that I probably had a learning disability or dyslexia. I eventually learned that food impacted my brain fog and how to control that via the support of a truly unique alternative Health Practitioner. Also, my parents were not the best parenting role models, but I wouldn’t change a thing. As I would learn, over the next 40 years, my journey was self-discovery, personal growth, and learning who am I. Luminus = Everyone goes through shit, what do you want to do about it?
It’s ironic how growing up led me to this path as an Enterprise Transformation Leader. Bless my parents, they did the best they could with what they had with my mom on the spectrum and a narcissistic father. My dad was all about himself, and if you didn’t help or benefit him, you weren’t a priority. My dream at eight years old was to be in “computers,” which went against the rural values. I would hear things like, “oh, that’s a “different field.” I recall my dad asking me a question, “How will you make money in Computers?” Translation — this will never work out for you. Thankfully I kept my dream in focus, and my dad doesn’t ask that question anymore. As you can imagine, I was socially awkward into my 30s. I didn’t have the models to learn from, the skillful means, or the support system to learn it. It took me years and years of work to model the behavior and practices. Luminus = Where there are gaps, there are gifts; we just have to find them.
Often I was told growing up that I wasn’t good enough or wasn’t smart enough, or wasn’t going to amount to anything; somewhere in there, our Soul has a plan for us. Getting out of that environment probably saved my life. It’s created years of working to find my authentic self and the possibility of the hardest possible career choice to improve my skills. Along the way, there were some eye-openers that I hope to share with you over time.
I’ve been an Agileist for over nine years in the Agile Transformational space, and I love what I do. As an Transformational Coach, I have seen massive growth with people I have worked with, completely changing organizations to work and solve problems. Still, more importantly, it positively changes their personal life. More to come on that. A good friend of ours named Trey shared this insight and I thought it appropriate to share. Luminus = Being comfortable with the uncomfortable.
“A writer — and, I believe, generally all persons — must think that whatever happens to him or her is a resource. All things have been given to us for a purpose, and an artist must feel this more intensely. All that happens to us, including our humiliations, our misfortunes, our embarrassments, all is given to us as raw material, as clay, so that we may shape our art.”
— Jorge Luis Borges
I believe my path has been learning to overcome, the ability to follow your dream, and make a difference in society. Thank you for listening to a bit of my story and we would love to hear your story.
Warmly,
Mark
