Swiping through Tinder is a new pastime of mine now that I’m officially single with zero strings attached. While I’ve done a stint on Tinder here or there over the last two years, it was never anything I was really doing because I was still kind of seeing my ex, D.
We went through these phases where we weren’t “together with a label” but we were together. We never saw other people during the entire two years we were on and off, but we both did download Tinder a time or two.
I mean, a girl has to keep her options open when her man doesn’t want to commit, right?
Because I’m bisexual, I have it set so Tinder shows me everyone. This often means that I see a lot of men, some women, and a fair amount of couples. I didn’t realize until I was mindlessly swiping through the app how much I really miss being a unicorn.
What is a unicorn?
For those unfamiliar with the term, a unicorn is essentially the third person in a threesome. Each situation is very different.
Some couples are looking for a third only in the bedroom and have strict rules about contact outside of it. Some couples are looking for someone to date together. They may want to take you out to dinner and a movie, shopping, or on other outings.
I was once with a couple who treated me like their fun little third wheel, which was marvelous. They took me out on dates, bought my presents, and then took me to their home to get me drunk and have their way with me. It was awesome and is something I miss.
Being a bisexual woman, there are things I love about having sex with each gender, and not having to pick is like showing up to a sexual buffet and getting to eat your fill of everything. I get to have my cake and fuck it too.
How do you find a couple?
There used to be this saying that couples interested in swinging would hang a metal star on the outside of their house as a kind of signal to others looking. This was eventually proven as false, to the relief of a lot of midwestern housewives. However, there are a few in life signals that a couple is looking.
Couples have approached me to be “friends” a few different times. Usually out at a bar or party. One couple I met even had a New Year’s Eve party that was so that they could find a perspective unicorn. While meeting in person is nice, it isn’t actually the way I would recommend finding your ideal couple.
There are many places you can find a couple that is willing to mingle with the right person. I recommend trying out an online dating application or website to dip your toe in the water. This allows you to get to know a few perspective couples at the same time without putting yourself in any awkward situations.
Make sure you find the right couple.
Speaking from experience, if you’re new at this, I wouldn’t jump into bed with just any couple you meet on Tinder. Take some time to get to know them. Learn what their expectations are, what they want, like, and think they are getting themselves into.
Picking the wrong couple or rushing into the experience can have an adverse effect on the experience. You want to be comfortable with them and make sure that they are the kind of people you want to have sex with, and I’m talking more than physically. Some couples are open about their sexual experiences with others, and some are not. Ensure that you are comfortable communicating with them about your wants, including if this is something that you want to be open about with other people.
Getting involved with another couple can be like dating, but more than likely will move faster than a typical dating experience. You might meet once before the three of you head into the bedroom. It isn’t uncommon to talk for a while through messages and then meet up for drinks before committing to moving forward.
The pace is all up to you and them. If you aren’t comfortable moving quickly, make sure to communicate openly and honestly about that as well any boundaries that you or they might have.
When you do find the perfect couple for you, don’t forget to ask about the rules.
Don’t forget to follow the rules.
As I mentioned above, each situation is going to be unique. The couple will more than likely talk and agree upon what can and can’t happen before going out to find a magical creature to call their own.
The rules of every situation must be agreed upon by all parties. I have been with couples that had rules about when I could message the husband or the wife. Some had rules about who could know about our situation or how open to the public we would be about it.
Don’t forget that you also can have your own rules. You need to make sure that you are comfortable and have a sense of control in the situation. It’s just as much for you as it is for them.
Being a couple’s unicorn is sexually freeing and satisfying.
A no-strings-attached, drama-free affair with a couple can be just what the doctor ordered on many occasions. It feels great to know that two people want you, desire you, and can’t take their minds off you.
It is fun to share and to be shared. There isn’t anything like it when you are having fun with a couple. It feels naughty and forbidden, but in reality, it isn’t any of those things. Remember to set rules and abide by safe sex practices, and other than that, have fun. It is something I think someone should do at least once in their life. You won’t regret it.