The 5 Most Attractive Male Foxes
Just once, today, allow me to objectify. Not women, not even men. But male, fictional foxes. I’m 1 week into a very successful bit whereby I talk constantly about finding Nick Wilde from Zootopia incredibly sexy, and I intend to extend this hilarious joke by rounding out a list of 5 foxes who make me — a straight man with no typical inclination for the four-legged — swoon.
NICK WILDE (ZOOTOPIA)
It’s largely down to Jason Bateman’s uber-charming voice performance, or maybe it’s the scruffiness of his shirt and tie, but Nick Wilde is basically the animated animal version of Saul Goodman and he is completely amazing.
MR. FOX (FANTASTIC MR. FOX)
He’s voiced by George Clooney so, c’mon, they know how sexy he is. The titular fox of Wes Anderson’s 2009 animated masterpiece is a wonderful husband, father, cider thief and a beautiful, beautiful fox.
The bingo website’s sharply-dressed mascot was likely the first fox I ever loved. The bizarre Northern England accent only helps. They’ve recently ruined Foxy by unfathomably casting Heather Graham in the suit. Hopefully things go back to normal and he restores his essential masculinity soon.
SWIPER (DORA THE EXPLORER)
Swiper’s from the backstreets. He’s seedy. He lives outside the law. And ladies, he is a dream come true. Benicio Del Toro will be playing Swiper in the upcoming Dora live-action movie, and I can hardly control myself with excitement.
It’s unclear why anyone ever cast a human man as Robin Hood ever again. He was created to be a handsome fox, even if all the supporting characters remain human.