The Despicable, Soul-Sucking Cynicism of ‘Deadpool 2’
I’ve always said my main reason for not enjoying 2016' Deadpool, aside from it not being particularly funny or well-made or interesting, was the horrific smell of a McDonald’s meal protruding from the row behind me whilst I was watching it. Watching Deadpool 2, I experienced a similarly repugnant odour. But this time it was coming from the actual screen.
The joke of the Deadpool character is basically “what if a superhero was thinking about sex all the time?”. His other attributes are incidental. Deadpool 2 kills his girlfriend before the titles roll, putting him in a gloomy state that provokes him to kill a bunch of people. So we’re treated to 2 hours of gun porn with lots of lovely gay panic comedy sprinkled in. This is a vile film; operating under the pretension that anyone over the age of 16 should be target audience for a comic-book movie by sticking the C word and some jokes about the mentally handicapped where there could be an actual plot.
The action is incoherent, the characters unpleasant and the tone a misjudged mismatch of “Let’s emasculate Deadpool by playing Dolly Parton over a slow-mo shooting scene” and “Let’s give The Terminator (or Cable or whatever the fuck the Josh Brolin character is called) emotional resonance by playing ‘Tomorrow’ from Annie over a slow-mo shooting scene”. The illusion that the R rating will prevent impressionable kids from watching the film is just that — an illusion — and the pointing and hollering of “Hah gaaaay” in cinemas around America this weekend sends shivers down my spine: the sort of comedy perpetuated by Deadpool 2 is lazy and mean, but it’s also seriously irresponsible in a movie with this Marvel appeal. The inclusion of a token lesbian relationship does not compensate for it. And the absolutely arrogance of Reynolds and co., who were given an outrageous boost of confidence by the first Deadpool’s Golden Globe nomination for Best Picture (fuck right off with that, ya hear me), and spend half the film making fun of Batman v Superman (a better film), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (a better film) and — dare I say — the potentially better film that was Green Lantern. At least Green Lantern had some aspirations to inspire awe in the eyes of America’s children. Deadpool 2 just wants them to snigger and say “Awe is fucking stupid”.
As the most cynical person most of my friends have ever met, I feel vindicated in saying that complete disregard for being able to sincerely enjoy things is not a good thing to foster in young people. Deadpool 2 and the garbage it will inspire will turn the next generation of filmgoers into a bunch of impossible-to-please assholes. To make matters worse, the despicable child from Hunt for the Wilderpeople — Julian Dennison — has a really big role. And proceeds to be mocked for his weight for the rest of the film.
There are a few victims of Deadpool 2 who don’t deserve to be included in my broad strokes “Fuck You” declaration: Atlanta’s Zazie Beetz has little to do as Domino but she looks extremely cool doing it. The great Eddie Marsan is in a few scenes; always a benefit for any film. T.J. Miller, who I know we’re not supposed to say nice things about, is a breath of fresh air upon arrival. And Brad Pitt appears for the film’s one outstanding joke. I should mention that the actual DIRECTOR of this thing, who I’ve failed to reference to date, is Mr. David Leitch, responsible for my favourite action movie of last year Atomic Blonde. Oh, David, how far you’ve fallen.
I’ll admit it sounds hypocritical when I both criticise superhero movies that take themselves way too seriously (Black Panther) and those with no respect for their own generic conventions. But there is a middle ground: it’s The Incredibles, it’s the Spider-Man trilogy, it’s The LEGO Batman Movie. And it’s not that hard to figure out. Ryan Reynolds has not figured it out.
