The stupid, sexist reason Ireland and the UK have to wait an extra month for ‘Incredibles 2’

Incredibles 2 arrives in US cinemas one week from now. It’ll arrive in my local cinema, here in Dublin, in about 5 weeks. As, I genuinely believe, the person on earth who has awaited this film the most fervently over the past 14 years, the rage this wait fills me with is indescribable. I do not get to be a part of the cultural conversation surrounding my most anticipated film ever, because by the time I’m able to watch it, A MONTH will have passed for American audiences/critics/Film Twitter.

So fuck you, Disney. Seriously. But there is an explanation, be it a dumb one, for this difference in release dates. And it’s SPORTS! Yes, the 2018 Fifa World Cup kicks off on Incredibles 2’s US opening day, and concludes on Incredibles 2’s Irish opening day. We have to wait the Entire Length of a global soccer tournament to see a 2 hour Brad Bird movie. Even 8-year old Lucien, who was absolutely psyched for the 2006 World Cup, would’ve chosen for it to be cancelled rather than prolong the wait for a new Incredibles adventure.

Disney’s programming rationale here is that Young Boys, a supposed key audience for the movie, will be inside watching soccer rather than going to the cinema for those 4 weeks. My counterargument being (a) fuck them, (b) if they want to see Incredibles 2/are given to choice to see Incredibles 2, they’ll find the time some afternoon and (c) I don’t buy that Young Boys are such an important demo for this movie. What will propel this film to $1bn worldwide is the hordes of my generation who’ll flock to see it once, twice, three times opening week for nostalgic reasons. The slightly older generation, who were in their teens in 2004 and sat in awe watching Bird’s original masterpiece in cinemas. Young Girls, I imagine, will be a huge demo for Incredibles 2 given especially the prominence of Elastigirl, Violet and Edna in the marketing. So fuck these soccer-eager Young Boys and their cinemagoing. They didn’t ask for this shit.

And Incredibles 2 isn’t the only film with its release being impacted by the soccer. You might notice that, this very weekend, Ocean’s 8 is hitting America while we’re getting an early release of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. The rationale of this switcheroo speaks for itself: Jurassic World is about DINOSAURS which BOYS love so give the BOYS their DINOSAUR movie before the FOOTBALL distracts them. Meanwhile, the WOMEN who’ll be interested in Ocean’s 8 (distributors once again underestimating the seismic male fanbase for Cate Blanchett and Anne Hathaway) and RIHANNA fans won’t be interested in the FOOTBALL so just dump that movie whenever and they’ll watch it. I’m not going to deny there’s a hint of truth in this, and I’d bet Jurassic World will probably make slightly more money in Ireland and the UK as a result of coming out before the World Cup starts. But nonetheless, the thinking behind it is pretty gross. And, ultimately, Incredibles 2 not hitting until July 15 does mean I’m getting the best movie month in years: three consecutive Fridays of Mamma Mia!, Incredibles and Mission: Impossible. So I won’t be complaining then.