Wednesday One-Sheets: ‘Phantom Thread’, ‘November Criminals’

Appalling. I can’t decide what this looks most like: the teaser art for a Fifty Shades sequel, or the cover of a bestselling airport paperback. That P.T. Anderson would allow such ugly artwork to accompany his film — and that so many fools on Twitter would praise it blindly as “stunning” — shocks me.

It’s very unlikely that I will ever watch Lady Bird. Saoirse Ronan and Greta Gerwig both irritate me profoundly, and pretty much everything about this film par Timothée Chalamet is incredibly unappealing to my sensibilities, particularly the font chosen for the film’s title.

I didn’t know this film existed, yet I feel somewhat like I’ve seen this poster before. It’s a very unoriginal colour scheme — a bit Pitch Perfect I suppose? — but Moretz and Elgort are certainly an attractive pairing. Plus David Strathairn and Catherine Keener? I might check this out. Whatever it’s about.

Train-themed graphics always charm me, and this one manages to avoid looking like a Trainspotting knock-off, which is a difficult feat. There’s no need for the word COMMUTER to be written so big, with ‘The Commuter’ also printed underneath, but otherwise this is sorta cool.