How to make a threesome fun
Tips you need in your life
What follows has been written based on a live conversation at LVRSNFRNDS where members discussed “What are your tips to make a threesome fun?” Quotes are extracts from this conversation.
A threesome is when three people engage in sexual activities together. While this definition sounds quite easy and simple, threesomes are not. They are actually harder to have than pop media and porn portray them to be. Still, it is not impossible to have a fun and enjoyable threesome experience with a little guidance — that’s where we come in.
“Go on dates and ask: you have to be in it to win it.”
— Jack (he/him)
For all
#1: Communicate as much as possible beforehand.
This includes exhaustively talking about your kinks, safe words, preferred level of interaction between the people involved.
#2: Discuss the logistics.
While it seems boring, detailing how you will be dealing with protection methods, time limitations, and spacious accommodations will save you a lot of unnecessary headaches down the line.
#3: Nurture personal connections with each person involved.
If you need emotional connections to be able to enjoy sex, try to meet each person 1:1 in a non-sexual environment to get to know them and to discuss your needs and wants.
#4: Forget what porn has taught you about sex and threesomes.
Be mentally prepared for attention to be on you as well as away from you, to laugh off any awkwardness and/or mishaps, and for it not to meet the expectations set by porn.
“Everyone needs to have some unlearning of pornography.”
— Jack (he/him)
For couples
#1: Have a healthy relationship.
For couples wishing to bring in a third person, be secure and loving in your relationship so that the person feels more welcomed and comfortable being with you.
#2: Be upfront about your status.
Be upfront and honest with people on dating apps that you are a couple to avoid seeming shady and predatory.
#3: Be aware of power dynamics.
As a couple, you have to be aware of the power you are exerting on the other person and try to accommodate them better so they don’t feel like an extra.
#4: Avoid making the person feel like an accessory.
Don’t seek threesomes because you think they will fix or revive your struggling relationship. It won’t and you will only ruin the experience for everyone involved.
“Don’t see people as means to fulfill your fantasies.”
— Alex (she/her)
For folks dealing with the pressure to perform
#1: Follow your own pace.
Don’t force yourself to be physically active at all times during the threesome; feel free to just sit back and watch if that’s your thing.
#2: Take breaks when needed.
If you feel the need to take a break, just make it known and go; you don’t have to stay while being uncomfortable. Try “You two carry on, everything is OK, I just need to step back. Don’t worry about me!”
#3: Don’t force a good time.
Just show you are having a genuinely good time and the others will feel it and be comfortable to be themselves as well.
“Threesomes are the best thing ever invented.”
— Giulia (she/her)
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