The World Is In A Power Struggle To Be Heard — but what’s lacking is understanding.

When I was a little girl, I earned the nickname “little miss chatterbox” — can anyone else relate? I was curious, asked too many questions for many and talked about anything with just about anyone I could strike up a conversation. Why I felt the urge to talk to people and get to know them, I couldn’t tell you exactly, but I do know it felt good exchanging these human experiences and seeing their points of view. Listening to them talk and noticing the quirks and expressions that we aren’t typically aware of when deep into our opinions.

My finesse, however, for recognising “social cues” at that time wasn’t mature, so I paid no attention to those who didn’t feel like talking. The life of my poor mom, bless her soul.

Yet, as I look at the world today, there is much talking but not a whole lot of understanding. We hear each other, and we do see each other. Still, something else stands in the way of us connecting on a fundamental level of meaning.

The world, it seems, is in a power struggle to be heard, but what it’s lacking is understanding.

Going over this thought, I’ve realised that “fear” is a primary factor that stands in the way of us making truly authentic connections.

Fear of letting go of not only what we’ve been conditioned and hardwired to think but also how we form the basis of what is valued and what is not. This perception that guides our reality constantly shapes the life around us. It is constantly shaping the quality of interactions we have, and the relationships we build. Good or bad.

When this belief system is challenged or slightly pushed, it can create an internal conflict with what we’ve been hardwired to accept. It becomes the barrier between what we say, listen, and accept that inhibits our receptors of empathy from cultivating understanding between anothers’ emotions.

Therefore, our conflict and struggle have more to do with our inner selves and our ability to have genuinely meaningful conversations. The kind of conversations without constantly attaching ourselves and our own thoughts and opinions at the beginning, middle, or end based on what we expect.

So, for the purpose of this conversation, let’s look at eight habits that keep the vast majority of the world from cultivating genuinely authentic conversations. Eight things that we need to stop immediately and rethink in our approach.

1. Do not go into a conversation thinking you alone have all the answers

If you have the answers, that’s great, but be open to the possibility that your answer or solution may not be someone else’s answer or solution for what they need. So give others a chance to share too.

2. Do not go into a conversation assuming you can feel what someone else feels

Don’t try to mimic how they feel, don’t try to tell them how they feel. Instead, give others the chance to say to you and show you how they genuinely feel through their expressions, thoughts, and situation. Look to see and feel the energy of how they feel. Not what you assume.

3. Do not take someone else’s pain and try to justify it; project or equate it to something you’ve experienced

Resist the urge to interrupt and compare your experience to that of someone trying to share a difficult moment in their life. It dilutes what they’re trying to say and may make them shut down from sharing wholeheartedly.

4. Do not assume to know it all

Stay humble to the idea there’s something to learn from anyone anywhere.

5. Do not overdo it

You don’t need to stare a person in the eyes and repeat what they’re saying to prove you’re paying attention if you are, in fact, paying attention. Just be there, in mind, body and soul. They’ll notice. The mutual energy of a great conversation amplifies presence. If you are there, you’ll both notice it without forcing yourself to be there.

6. Do not fidget with your phone or be pretentious

No one cares if you think you’re important. Don’t be pretentious. Remove the distractions. Set the mood to have an honest moment.

7. Do not be too eager to finish people’s sentences

It’s not cute. It’s distracting. If it happens, woohoo! You had a moment. Keep it real.

8. Do not go into a conversation expecting to solve everything or even anything.

Instead, keep an open mind enough to continue having more conversations until you can learn more and gradually develop the competency to understand each other.

Remember, conversations are a start. A good start can be the bridge to a world of worry. Do not allow fear of losing your own opinion to keep you from connecting with a world of possibility.

The bottom line is, we may not always agree or even like each other but we can have authentic conversations to understand each other, even if we do not agree. This actually is a giant and liberating step forward to be able to move through disagreements and foster better conversations.

To follow more of the inspiration check out the Mindset Bootcamp podcast with Nerissa J. Persaud. Listen here on Spotify or anywhere you enjoy podcasts.

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