Quarterly Report: The Fall Season
A friend recently asked me, “So, has being in Missouri met your expectations?” The short answer is yes, but the long answer is much more interesting, at least to me.
We’ve been in Missouri a little over three months. We’re settled in, and the seasons have changed. Summer held on for a little longer than usual. The trees changing colors has been more gradual this year, like it’s easing us into cooler weather. I appreciated this because it gave me a few extra weeks of wearing flip-flops, after which, I was fully ready for socks and shoes. It also gave me a few extra weeks of not needing a sweater or a coat, at all, any time of day. I think this was it’s personal gift to me, since I missed most of the summer. So, first expectation met — I love the seasons, and especially summer nights. I’m even looking forward to winter because I bought a super warm, long (ankle length!), poofy coat. Olie and I like to call it my sleeping bag. =)
Another expectation was that I would enjoy being home, near to my family, and long time friends. This expectation has definitely been met. For the last 17 years, all visits with the people I cared most about where squashed into a few days, a couple of weeks when we were lucky. I have to say, though, that I definitely prefer shorter visits more frequently. I’ve seen my dad at least two times a month. And, I LOVE calling him and not having to think about the time zone. That actually makes a big difference, and is definitely easier. Overall, we are all a bit more relaxed, knowing that we’ll see each other soon, and we’re only a couple of hours apart.
There have been a few surprises, some easier to adjust to than others. The hardest has been the amount of driving. I have to drive Oliver 15 minutes to school every day. This is a lot more driving than I’ve done in the last 12 years. I had to throw a few tantrums about it before I settled down in to the routine. Now, I don’t mind it so much because Ollie and I listen to music on the way. Would I rather walk? Yes, definitely. Is there a school in walking distance that would be good for Oliver? Not really. Do we like where we live? Absolutely! We live near my favorite business district in the city — Cherokee Street. I have to drive Ollie to school, but we can walk to any restaurant we want, and many shops. I also love my neighbors, and the neighborhood. It’s a little unpolished, very diverse, and there’s always some festival or event or concert going on somewhere near by. Would I want to live nearer to the school? Nah, it’s boring over there. So, I drive. It’s a trade off I’m willing to make right now. Since Ollie has learned to ride his bike, he has stated the goal that he wants to bike to school. We will work up to that in the spring.
I did have an expectation that St. Louis would be more accessible and easier to get around, and it is. So, yes, we have to drive nearly everywhere, but generally, everywhere is about 15 minutes, reliably. We can get to the Missouri Botanical Gardens (sooo beautiful!), the zoo, the art museum, the science center, the history museum, City Museum, any other business district, any grocery store, Nana’s place, school, the Fox Theatre, Powell Symphony Hall, at least six different libraries, and any number of parks in 15 minutes or less. Basically, any cultural activity, shopping or entertainment that we could ever think of wanting to do is right there, reliably in 15 minutes (i.e. no traffic), and… (wait for it) there’s ALWAYS PARKING — even at Whole Foods on a weekend! These simple things really do make a difference. You may have to go through umpteen stop signs to get there because nearly every corner has a stop sign, which is so annoying, but you get used to it. It’s good for slowing down, at least.
Let’s see… what else…
Racial tensions are as high as I expected, and it’s more (very) painful to see than I expected.
People are definitely grounded, like I expected, but a surprising (and totally logical) side effect of that is that change does not happen quickly or easily or at all.
Cliques exist like I thought they would, and we’ve made a few friends like I thought we would, mostly with transplants…or chickens. The neighbors have had chickens for seven years without incident. When we moved in, they had nine chickens. They are now down to three chickens, due to several raccoon attacks and three German shepherds. My favorite chicken was CC, short for Curious Clucker. She, and later her sister, would come visit, and lay eggs in my house. I would feed them kitchen scraps. They liked everything besides papaya and kitchari. Their favorite was meat. Chickens are definitely little dinosaurs. I grew quite fond of the chickens, and I’m sorry to say that CC met her fate with the German shepherds.
Something I didn’t expect, or even really think about, was how Catholic much of the city is. One of the first questions moms at school ask me is “How many kids do you have?” When I answer, “Just one,” sometimes I feel like I have a blinking neon sign on my head that announces “She’s not Catholic!” This is ok, because I’m not. It just takes getting used to. The average number of kids in any given family is three. People have big families, and it’s a little weird to me.
Something that I expected was that I would be a little strange. It’s true, I’m a bit different than your average person here, but what is surprising is that I can pass as more normal than I actually am.
I haven’t written as much along the way as I thought I would. Because the first post was so well received, I felt a lot of pressure to do something as brilliant, so I didn’t do anything.
Oh, and those conversations I wanted to have with people different than me? I’ve been having them, and while it’s hard, it’s also one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done.
What else have I been up to?
I’ve started an internship at the Missouri Coalition for the Environment, which is a great non-profit advocacy group. I’m doing research and work for the Food and Farm program. I love it.
I also gave myself an education about education. I’d already begun looking for schools closer to our home when Oliver got tested as “gifted,” which brought up a whole slew of stuff for me to look at. First, I want to say that the term gifted is loaded with all kinds of baggage. I prefer the term “high-ability learner” because it is less loaded and more descriptive, so I will use that from now on. Ultimately, I toured 14 schools, including two middle schools, and three high schools. I figured out how the St. Louis Public school system works. I talked to about 20 people, including teachers, parents, students, school administrators, and gifted education experts. I read countless articles and several books. I learned about charter schools, differentiation, acceleration, integration, segregation, blended learning, expeditionary learning, scripted curriculum, IQ, project-based learning, growth mind-set, fixed mind-set, high-ability learners, parent involvement, and pull-out enrichment. It was a project. I found that most schools followed the same basic scripted curriculum and are not very good at differentiation.
I concluded that what mattered most for Oliver was that he be in a place that could challenge him, and most schools wouldn’t be able to do that. So, I checked to see if there was a spot at Kennard Classical Junior Academy, which is an accelerated school (meaning first graders do second grade work, and so on) for only high-ability learners. There was a spot for him, which given the normal lottery system that most kids have to go through to get in, was a miracle. After much deliberation, we decided to switch Oliver to Kennard, and so far it’s been a very good decision, even if it is still a 15 minute drive. I could write soooo much more on this, but I won’t. If you want to know more, let me know. We can talk, or maybe I could write another post.
Overall, am I glad we moved? Definitely. I feel safer and more rooted here than I ever did in my time in California. It’s hard to explain, but it probably has something to do with knowing that no matter what happens, I’ll have support and back up. I’m glad to be home.
I hope you can come visit sometime.
