…VOL +1 Deleted Pages


On the way on to the plane, I fondly recall my request for an aisle seat that landed me a free exit row upgrade. Ahh, extra leg room. I always thought the exit row seat itself was a benefit reserved for those able and willing to open the exit door (which seemed to involve a complex set of strong twists and turns of the sturdy locking mechanism) and help others exit the airplane in the event of a nontraditional landing. So you can imagine my surprise when I see what appears to be a tiny centenarian Hispanic woman perched there.

I struggle to choke down a laugh. The smiling coupled with the occasional gust of air escaping my nostrils, secondary to my inability to hold in the laughter, continues through the flight attendant’s request for our verbal agreement that we could carry out the necessary duties demanded of exit row passengers.

The poor old thing can barely muster up the strength to let out an audible “yes”. I can only hope the echo of the word resonating through her chest doesn’t shatter any time-worn, decalcified ribs or require so much energy that she expires on the spot after her answer. Surprisingly, señora survives her response and I don’t hear any ribs cracking or wheezing final breath. To further exacerbate the hilarity of the situation, during the flight she picks up the exit door instruction booklet stowed behind the seat in front of her and starts studying it like a law student reading the specifics of “Roe vs Wade” in preparation for the bar. By this point my laughter can’t be contained so I have to exit the situation and compose myself with a quick bathroom break. But before leaving I ask her, as I nose toward the pamphlet, “You can handle that?”

She responds, “Que tu dices?”

“Nada, senora, lo siento.”

I’m glad we’ve got 7 other emergency exit doors.

Read the book! Vol. +1 is out now!
Also by M. Wheeler Books
The Preceded by Chaos Story follows Mitchell, a young Emergency Medicine Doctor from Volume 0 to the plus volumes, as he and his views of the world around him change; as well as, following him retrograde in time through the minus volumes as the reader explores the chaos that cultivated the need for Mitchell to transform into something better… Vol. +1 on sale NOW!
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