I Think: Rape can ruin the entire family
Jessy Maria D’Souza, gynaecologist, Mangalore
I have worked as a gynaecologist for 23 years, but now also deal with patients in other departments as the coordinator for the Rural Health Training Centre in Father Muller Medical College in Mangalore. We see around 200 patients a day from all backgrounds and ages. I also go to schools and colleges to give talks.
As a doctor, wherever I go I teach children about sexual violence and how to combat it, and how to avoid unwanted physical contact. Doctors have an open mind, know anatomy, and have authority, so children respond to us better than they do other professionals. In addition, I train teachers on how to approach sex education. It is my mission to make people aware.
I start my day with the news. I read a lot of newspapers, I watch TV news, I also follow what’s happening through social media platforms and online platforms like Daijiworld.
Most of the news I’ve seen regarding rape is from the north region. The last few cases that come to mind are an old man raping a three-year-old, a rickshaw driver molesting schoolchildren, and a college student being gang-raped by her own friends. It just shows to go that you have to be careful and aware — no matter where you are or who you are with. Not everyone can be trusted. Be prepared before anything happens and think ahead.
When I hear such news, I feel like the rapists should be castrated. Why do they want to force innocents and rape and torture them? If they have sexual urges that are not being met, they can go to sex workers who work on their own terms to earn a living. Yet, one cannot say exactly what or who is responsible. The internet is flooded with sexually explicit content that is available at the click of the button. I think porn plays a major role in shaping the mindset of people and nowadays even children are getting addicted to it.
There is too much gimmickry in the media and cases are not followed up properly. The media uses cases just to make one-off ‘stories’ and they tend to cover just a certain angle of what happened. Instead, they should try and include the whole story rather than just one version of events. They should follow up and see what justice is done. Also, they should be sensitive and not make the victim explain their experience of the event repeatedly.
Sexual assault can ruin the whole life of a person. In fact, not just the person but their entire family. Not only the person but even the entire family. Nothing stays the same. It is as if the family has been raped as well. We can try and make the victim get back to normal life by investing in more resources for them — something like a programme that supports them after the incident.
Everybody should take a lead to tackle the problem. All children have to be brought up responsibly. First to respect each other and to know what to do when… only then it is beautiful. Parents and teachers have a huge role to play but they themselves don’t know how to approach sex education. In fact, parents actively avoid the subject and don’t turn up for talks on sex education. India is a very conservative country, hence the stigma. But talking about it openly to children in the need of the hour, this is where we can teach them what is right and what is wrong. This is also where we can train children to be smart, to escape such situations, and be more cautious . Teachers have to be trained to approach the subject.
Rape is not an easy thing to deal with after it happens. There is a lot of reliance on circumstantial evidence and there are also cases that are lodged for malicious reasons. The media plays a very important role in how it turns out.
My message to journalists is to be careful about how they represent rape. They should avoid graphic details since kids can easily be exposed to such news and be affected. You have to concentrate on the whys — why did the rapists do it? Why did it happen?
