Our Press Secretary Is Gay And Hot

Everything else is still bad.

I haven’t written in a while because the world is bleak. And I definitely haven’t been covering politics because it’s a carnival of death and stupidity. But when I saw the news that the new press secretary is gay and hot, I thought I’d make an exception. Karine Jean-Pierre will become the next White House press secretary after that spooky, redheaded, Hogwarts looking lady leaves next week.

Jean-Pierre is the first Black, gay, and openly attractive person to hold the position in our shit-bag country’s history. It’s crazy to think when I watched Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century in 1999, I thought “wow in 2022 I bet I’ll be blowing some bleach-blonde rockstar on a spaceship orbiting earth” and instead it’s the White House finally letting a Black gay person lie to the American people on their behalf.

While it’s hard to find any fuck to give about the White House or the press or the press secretary, Jean-Pierre’s gayness and hotness makes it a little bit easier. Also she’s 47! Forty-seven?! If she’s 47, I’m 108.

May her glowing skin make us all forget that this administration, like all the administrations before it, only works for a handful of rich men that remind them of their daddies while the rest of us suffer immensely :)

But she’s gay!!!!!!!