Hello, morning wood

The internet, magazines, scientific reports praise on having morning sex. It’s supposed to make me look and feel better. Sorry, guys. But this just isn’t my thing!

Morning sex will get you in a good mood for all the day. You’ll feel more beautiful and relaxed. It’s simply hot and very sexy for the guys (no wonder
if most of them are aroused after waking up!).
The list doesn’t end here. Now the scientist march in saying “morning sex releases a feel-good chemical oxytocin which makes us happy”. Above that
“it strengthens the immune system by increasing the levels of antibodies protecting from infection”. In other words – it’s less likely you’ll catch a cold. Hm, interesting… So what else have the scientists proved? Aha, here it comes: “morning sex boosts the levels of estrogen, which improves the quality of the skin, hair and nails”.

This sounds like a propaganda for having morning sex! I wonder how many guys are involved in this conspiracy, hm? ☺ Ok, but let’s be serious. Amazing that the internet, magazines, scientific reports praise on having sex after you wake up. They only show the positive aspects. Fuck! Tell me please, what is positive in having a dragon breathe, messy hair, a pillow track on your face?!? Should I even mention wanting to pee?!?
I get a tip: quietly sneak out of bed, clean your face, clean your teeth, do this, do that. C’mon! Do people really have time for this in the morning before they go to work?
Another piece of advice is to gently wake your partner eating a mint earlier (which you prepared the night before – seriously???). You can kiss him slowly on the neck, touch his balls or do a blow job. Yeah, right. Especially eating dozens of mints earlier…
If that doesn’t work for me – because all the wise guys claim women aren’t at their highest peak in the mornings – I can get myself in the mood by sniffing my partner. Yes, sniffing! And why should I do that? Because “the man’s morning natural scent is a libido booster”! Wait… are we talking scent or odor?!

At this point I think you got my message – morning sex is just not my thing.
I tried to figure out ways to set aside those unsexy I-just-woke-up feelings, so I could enjoy it. Didn’t work. Was it the case of a particular guy? No, because I’ve tried it several times. Usually spooning or letting the guy touch me without facing him (morning breathe, bleeee). But I wasn’t really turned on. Every wrong move irritated me, so in the end I wasn’t getting up happy, but pissed off.

I’m usually grumpy in the mornings. And believe me, most of the guys I’ve slept with know it very well! That’s why I take my time. There are two possibilities – either we shower together and have a little fun or postpone the hanky panky for 15 min. In this time we do all our morning stuff and start to get dressed. Uhm, did I mention I like undressing a half-naked man? It’s so sexy..! Sorry, got caught in the moment…
The comfort I have after showering, cleaning my teeth and peeing is huge! This is my advantage. I know he still has it in him, I know he can get hard at any moment, as well as I can get aroused in 30 sec. So why complicate it all when just after 15 min you really can have it all and have it good?

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