How to make the most of networking

Saying no to grab a cup of coffee is hard. Much of these networking is just busy work.

Most of the people who aren’t in your circles, aren’t because of some reason

From a work stand point, there are only a few people you really need to meet to get your job done. Constraining network circles saves hours of gossip over coffee. I’ve never had a working relationship with anyone that started over coffee.

You don’t get the help you don’t ask for

Dont meet if you don’t know what to ask

Networking for the sake of networking — so that you have someone on your contact list the day you need their help — is fundamentally broken. Most of the networking happens without a pre-defined agenda. So, naturally no questions get asked — and as a consequence you get no answers.

Just like “tell me about yourself” is a useless interview question, so is the chat at a cafe.

If you don’t have a question to ask, you’d probably not need to meet. It is when you have a pressing problem that you or your immediate circle cannot solve is when you need to reach beyond. Having a pointed question for this one-hop friend is far more fruitful. That keeps the focus exclusively on the topic. You’d probably always find help, if you know where you want help, at a high level.

The hard part isn’t figuring out the answers. It’s asking the right questions.

Opinions are, by definition, divergent

Optimize for conversation of value

Everyone has an opinion on practically everything. It adds a lot of noise to most discussions. The problem aggrevates when the other person doesn’t have the same context.

First impression, often the last impression. The first time you meet a person, the process of judging each other begins. The way it comes out in a non-creepy way is by expressing opinions. Small talks arise.

These opinions are almost never something that will add any value. They’re all ice-breakers. But ice-breakers for?

In a social setting where you are actually doing little other than judging, the only way to break the silence is to talk what you are thinking anyway. The first opinion one has about you, your product, your life is probably something you have heard multiple times already. It is of little value to hear it again, from a stranger.

You often need opinions from experts. Rarely the first intuition of a stranger

Home work done is half work done

Set agendas for meeting

Most meeting gossip happen because either parties isn’t aware of the topic of discussion. To be fair, there’s no way for everyone to have every context neccessary in a meeting. Homework done is to make sure all participants are aware of the neccessary insights to participate fruitfully in a meeting.

A networking event is a bad place to meet, because not only do you not have any context about the person you are meeting, you didn’t even get a chance to set the agenda. All that you hear, are gut feelings not facts or insights.

The set agenda also helps weed off any unwanted gossip, by sticking to what you had planed for.

The most effective way is to communicate clearly why you are meeting.

If you don’t know why you’re meeting, you shouldn’t

Social capital isn’t a zero sum game

Don’t meet people who aren’t better than you

If you lose your time, effort and intellect in meeting someone, the other person isn’t going to benefit in the same proportion. Infact most meetings are negative sum games, both parties standing to lose.

Not meeting people who aren’t significantly better in atleast one dimension is a good razor to keep off from bad meetings.

All good meetings happen when you know what the other person is good at and you exploit that fact. It is the best use of both parties’ time.

If you are the best in the room, you are in the wrong room