How it feels to be a real Musaafirah

I remember, when I first set up my blog, I spent ages deciding a name for it. I was so indecisive. What possibly could I title my blog and how could that one title sum up everything I would be writing about? Then it hit. Musaafirah. The Traveller. I not only liked the name because it sounded good, but I chose it especially for two reasons:

Firstly, I realised how everything in this world is temporary. That it will come to and end. And thus it is not the place to settle and invest in, but rather a place we should view as part of our journey as travellers. We are just passing by. The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam) summed this up for us in a hadith, where he said: “What do I have to do with this worldly life? I and this worldly life are but like a traveller who stopped for a little while under a tree to get some shade and then moved on.” (Recorded in Ahmad)

Secondly, I always dreamt of travelling to different places. I would often become consumed with wanderlust and have a strong longing and desire to travel and visit different places to marvel at the beauty of the creation of Allah. I felt like there was so much to see, taste, smell, admire, reflect upon in this world — signs all around us, and so I hoped that one day I would actually taste being an actual musaafirah. Hopping from one place to another to see the beauty of Allah’s creation.

Alhamdulilah, slowly I’m seeing that dream unfold into a reality. In the past month or two, I’ve been constantly on the move. Travelling from one country to another, returning to my home, then having to make another move to another city, whilst commuting between two cities to visit family etc. All this travelling has been making me reflect on how it feels to be an actual Musaafirah, and how this feeling is helping me in my relationship with Allah and my attachment to things, people and places.

For those who know me well, I am someone who used to get deeply attached to experiences, moments, people and places. I was the one who would recall memories with tears streaming down my face wandering what happened, why things changed. It took me an entire year to get over my Umrah trip because I didn’t understand why it had to come to an end. I missed who I was and how I felt — the spiritual high. I was also the one who would walk into the Masjid on Eid day, under dressed (because your supposed to dress up on Eid right!), and I would be teary-eyed (nothing new) because I felt so depressed that Ramadhan had left. I kept getting attached over and over again and and this was hurting me and more more.

That is until very recently. In the past couple of years, Allah has been teaching me to keep my heart attached to Him alone. Yes, I’ve had to learn the hard way, and yes I still do get attached now too, but, I’m aware when it happens and thus know that changes needs to be made to put my heart back to where it belongs.

All this travelling to and from in recent weeks have meant that I had to pack my entire life in one suitcase and since a suitcase could only hold so much, it meant I only could take what is necessary. Even in my new home, I leave everything in my suitcase as I know the stay at that accommodation is only temporary as we will be moving again.

And you know, it’s truly teaching me. My heart is being tamed through this experience. There are a few reflections I’ve had that I’ve been wanting to jot down about what travelling so far, has taught me:

- We own more than necessary — I am guilty of this. When I open my suitcase on a daily basis, I find in there the things I absolutely need. One or two sweaters for when it’s chilly, one long dress, one pair of trousers. No extras. Yet, when I was in my parents home, my wardrobes would be filled with excess clothes that I wouldn’t even wear often and it made me realise how, the things we own are not always things we need, but things we desire and want. And everytime we desire something, we get it. There is nothing wrong with having possessions and wanting things, but too often we fall into excessiveness and every time we do, we don’t realise it, but slowly our hearts begin to become attached to materialism and slowly our hunger for possessions grows till it consumes and fills our hearts.

- It’s not about things — There are some things money can’t buy. Like experiences, like an understanding friend, spouse or family members. You could live in a small two-bedroom house, but have an understanding family and well-mannered children, and that would mean more to you than all the valuables of the world. That’s because life can be lived simply and the purpose of life isn’t to work so we can spend. It is to work hard so we can provide for our family, so we can love and give to others, and so we can fulfil the responsibilities Allah has bestowed upon us.

- Attach your heart only to Allah — This is never an easy thing to do. Even I have just hit the tip of the iceberg. There’s more beneath the surface that I am yet to delve into. But if anything, travelling really instils this in you. It detaches you from places, things and people because you eventually have to leave it all behind. The memories, the smells, the tastes, and even the way you felt at that particular moment. And it’s never easy. For myself, moving from one city to another was difficult. Whilst I packed to begin a new chapter, I also packed memories away. Memories of my life as a single woman, memories of childhood — even the little things. I had to detach myself from it all and move on. And it was then that this truth hit home. I realised my heart didn’t belong to a people, if it did, how come I no longer was under my parents responsibility? I realised, my heart didn’t belong to a place, if it did, why would I return to my home after a long holiday (plus honeymoon)? I realised, my heart didn’t belong to a moment, because change is the only constant thing in life.

Now I’m beginning to feel like a real Musaafirah and it’s helping me realise that no matter where in the world He takes us, if His remembrance remains alive within our hearts, then He will be with us wherever we may be, wherever destiny takes us.