It takes a village to raise a child
3 days in and I am getting more and more convinced on the truth behind the quote, “It takes a village to raise a child.”
A woman who has given birth is having to learn on the go how to love a tiny human being who is completely dependant on her, she is learning how to feed (there’s a whole art to that too!), she is learning sacrifice; how to put someone else’s needs before her own, she’s learning how to survive and pesevere on sleepless nights, all the while healing from the physical and emotional impacts of child birth.
That’s why, I feel, it’s so important and such a blessing to have a support system in place that extends beyond the home and husband/wife. And when I say that, I mean, where neighbours or friends or other family friends can reach out to cook a meal, or clean the home (for those women who may be completely alone and away from parents/family etc), or that the siblings or parents can take turns to keep an eye on the child and play with him/her, whilst the mother or father take a nap.
Furthermore, community midwives are there for a reason!
This morning I was in tears because I was struggling with something and after a visit from the midwife instantly was reassured and my confidence was boosted. I thought to myself, why was I so hesitant is picking up the phone and making and call for some advice?
And it was then that I realised that no mother or mother to be can do it alone… and we as a community need to be more available for those women who have minimal support, but also as mothers we need to welcome any and all help, which can be tough in the early days due to attachment and the natrual guilt of feeling like you need to be more responsible and available (trust me, hormones are also everywhere!)
Allah describes the mother going through, “وهن علي وهن” — “weakness upon weakness” which means the people around her must act as a pillar to support her in this time.
May Allah bless all pregnant/new mothers out there and grant them the support systems they so truly need in their new phase of life
