Intuitively Building Our Own Islands

Exploring Glennon Doyle’s Untamed

As we continue forward in our lives untamed and free of the cage, we will continue to grow. Growing and evolving is rewarding, but it isn’t always smooth sailing. We face challenges and obstacles that are ultimately there to help us learn lessons so we can move forward. These gifts remind us that we’re human. And, free from the cage, we can see each challenge as a way to continue moving into, and living, in alignment with our instincts.

In order to do that, we must also create space for our own rest and integration. A safe place where we don’t need to be growing or stretching every minute. A place to relax, to process, and to reflect. We often overlook intentionally creating this space we can retreat to. The beautiful thing is it doesn’t have to be a physical space — it can be a space we create in our minds.

In “islands,” Doyle talks about the island metaphor she and Abby use to create her space. She is on this island with Abby, the kids, and real love. It’s precious and protected in this space. They leave whatever doesn’t fit into those categories on the other side of the water (p.189). It’s a beautiful space where they dance and feel joy together, and she can visit this space at any time.

Whenever she wants to access this space, she can jump to it. She knows what it looks like, what it feels like, and it gets more vivid every time she visits it. We can do this too. We can have a place that we can travel to whenever we need it. It can meet whatever needs we might have for rest and integration.

Here is an exercise that might help you create your own space:

Identifying your own space intuitively

First, settle into a comfortable seat with your feet flat on the ground. Have your arms and legs uncrossed, with your hands resting wherever feels right.

Close your eyes and take 4 deep breaths:

• Breathe in deep through your nose and count to 4
• Hold your breath at the top and count to four
• Breathe out fully through your mouth and count to four
• Hold the breath out and count to four.
• Repeat.

Return back to a natural rhythm of breathing and keep your eyes closed. Start to think of traveling to a place that feels safe and perfectly set up for your rest and integration. It is made specifically for you.

Bring your attention to breathing into the top of your chest, up near your collarbone. If that isn’t bringing any visual clarity, try bringing your attention to your third eye and see if that helps your space take shape visually.

• What do you see?
• Where is this?
• Inside or outside?
• What colors are there? Textures?
• Is this somewhere you’ve been before? Are there any alterations to that place that makes it more supportive and safe?

Next, move your breath into your sternum, lifting your chest and stomach with each breath.

• What do you hear?
• What sounds are close, and what ones are further away?
• When you’re in this space with all your needs met for rest and integration, what are you saying to yourself? What do you hear in your head?

Finally, move your breath lower into your belly. Keep breathing in and out of this deep space.

• What do you feel in this space?
• Where in your body do you feel it?
• What color would you give this feeling?
• What can you feel around you?
• What temperature is it?
• What do you feel as you interact in your space?

Let all of that sink in. When you’re ready, blink open your eyes and think about what you want to name this space. It can be as simple as “my island” or “my campsite” or “my cottage” or it can be more specific. Write down whatever name naturally comes up for you. Welcome to your space.

By creating her space, Doyle proactively defines what is important, what is in her space, and what is allowed in from the outside. She does this before any challenge comes her way so that she can think clearly and truly connect to her instincts and intuition. She can hear herself and isn’t being pulled by others and their expectations. This is where she has clarity.

Then, when things do get challenging — like when Doyle’s mother showed up on the other side of the water with fear, asking to be let onto her island — she can go to her island and decide what to do from there. Coming back to the intention of the island and the specifics of what was meant to be on the island, she’s able to understand what to do next. How to meet this challenge in a way that is aligned with her instincts, her Knowing.

While our spaces provide somewhere to go where we can rest and integrate, they also help us to move forward when we feel stuck. When we feel challenged. They remind us of what’s important to us when we are truly aligned.

An exercise to deepen the specifics of your space with what is aligned for you:

Enhancing your space for challenges (and growth!) ahead

Stand up and stretch! Shift your weight from one foot to the other. Once you feel stretched and a little lighter, return to a comfortable seat.

Check that your feet flat on the ground. Have your arms and legs uncrossed, with your hands resting wherever feels right.

Close your eyes and take 4 deep breaths:

• Breathe in deep through your nose and count to 4
• Hold your breath at the top and count to four
• Breathe out fully through your mouth and count to four
• Hold the breath out and count to four.
• Repeat.

Return back to a natural rhythm of breathing and keep your eyes closed. Return to your space, and see/hear/feel all the things before. Anything else you’re noticing?

Now, begin to look out from your space and see something that marks a perimeter of your space. If it’s an island, perhaps it’s the water’s edge. If it’s a cottage, it might be the gate where the sidewalk meets the path up to your cottage. See this perimeter take shape in your space. Look around and see it as a protective barrier.

Next, what specifically do you want to have in this space? What do you NOT want here?

• What supports you in being free?
• In being aligned?
• In staying out of the cage?
• What keeps you connected to your instinct and intuition?
• What is distracting?
• Where do you tend to abandon yourself for someone else?

Imagine leaving anything you don’t want at the perimeter. Set the items or people down with care, and move forward into your space carrying the things you do want. Cross the barrier with them. Once you get to your space, put the things you want there in their place. On the island, you might set them in a hammock so you can grab them whenever you need them. In the cottage, you might put them on a shelf or in a chair in the sitting room by the fire. Allow everything to land in its place.

When you’re ready, blink open your eyes. You can return to your place any time you’d like.

We will continue to face challenges, grow, and learn lessons that keep moving us forward. We are ever-evolving including — especially — when we are out of the cage. Our touchstone that we can keep coming back to is our intuition. When we are challenged, our instincts will help show us the way forward. Intentionally creating a space where we can connect to what is in alignment for us helps us see that way forward quicker, and more clearly.

We hope this practice supports you in living in alignment as you continue to thrive and grow outside of your cage.

How to use this practice this week:

1. Do the exercise in this post to define your space, the perimeter, and what you do & do NOT want there.
2. Think of something that was challenging in the last week and is now completed. Go into your space with this and focus on resting and integrating. What lesson emerges? How does it connect to living in alignment for you?
3. What is something that is keeping you up at night? What feels unclear? Take this into your space and begin to break it down into chunks—what stays with you and what goes out beyond your perimeter? What does this tell you about how to move forward?