A Beginner’s Guide To Practicing Mindfulness
Tips for how to stop mind-wandering and increase your happiness by introducing simple mindfulness techniques into your everyday.
Did you know that it’s estimated the human mind wanders 47% of the time? So instead of thinking about the activity we are actively doing, it’s likely our minds are in a distant land having their own adventure.
Picture this: Your cousin Becky is explaining to you why Star Trek: The Next Generation has the worst cast of all Star Trek series. You stop listening because you absolutely disagree with this fallacy, and instead, you start thinking about what you’re going to cook for dinner while your eyes are glassy and your head is nodding on autopilot.
Or let’s say you sit down to eat, but instead of solely focusing on eating, you decide to multitask. You pop open your computer to search Pinterest as some wonton soup dribbles down your chin. You realize you don’t have a napkin, so you run to get one. When you come back, you frustratingly have no idea what you wanted to search on Pinterest.
Wandering Minds Lead To Discontent
Unfortunately, studies show that mind-wandering can cause us to be less-happy versions of ourselves.
Think about it.
Picture yourself brushing your teeth in front of your mirror at home; you can’t stop thinking about an Instagram post you saw of your former co-worker’s bathroom mirror selfie in a resort in Tulum. “Callie is always on vacation; how does she do it?” you think to yourself. Suddenly, you feel a surge of jealousy mixed with a sprinkle of self-pity.
And let’s say the next day you sit down at your desk to check your work emails, still feeling a slight sting of envy that you’re working today and not resort-hopping in Mexico. You’re unraveling a complex email thread that was forwarded to you when suddenly your manager pings you with an urgent need.
Now you have to task-switch; you answer your boss, and when you get back to the email thread, you’re frustrated you have to start reading from the beginning to refocus.
Come Back To Reality
So how do we get out of our wandering heads? How do we stay focused on the real world instead of living in the Land of Make Believe? How do we start finding joy in the here and now and not in the “what-ifs” and the “what’s-not?”
Mindfulness.
Sure, it’s a buzzword we often hear in the workplace and on social media. But so much of that “mindful” content focuses on borderline toxic positivity. So let’s talk about what mindfulness means.
True Mindfulness
According to mindfulness expert John Kabat-Zinn, P.h.D, mindfulness is awareness that is the result of:
- Paying attention to yourself and your surroundings on purpose.
- Paying attention to yourself and your surroundings as they are occurring in the present moment
- Paying attention to yourself and your surroundings without judgment.
Let’s explore each of these elements because they might not mean exactly what you think they mean.
Paying Attention On Purpose
First of all, it’s important to note that paying attention and being aware are not the same things. I’m sure you remember your parents or teachers saying something to the effect of, “Are you listening or just hearing?” To listen implies action, whereas hearing implies passivity.
Paying attention is the same concept as listening. Paying attention means you are actively seeking and deliberately directing your mind to acknowledge something, whether that be the sounds you can hear, the feel of your feet against the ground as you stand, or how your stomach rises and falls as you breathe.
Paying Attention To The Present Moment
Paying attention to the present moment means that we might be thinking of our past or our future; however, to be mindful of the present moment, we should acknowledge these thoughts as mental events occurring in the present.
After we can observe our thoughts as mental events happening in real-time, we can begin to gently recenter on the sights, sounds, and sensations of the present moment rather than letting our ruminating thoughts of past and future get out of control.
Use the senses at your disposal (ex: sight, sound, touch, smell, taste) as a guidepost to help you find your way back to the present. With time and practice, this will become more accessible to you.
Paying Attention Without Judgment
After mastering paying attention purposefully and in the present moment, we can move on to paying attention without judgment. Being mindful non-judgmentally means we separate our cognition from our emotions and allow our thoughts to simply exist as they are.
This doesn’t mean you won’t have opinions about experiences. You can still observe an experience as pleasant or unpleasant.
For instance, your grandmother might place a plate of Brussels sprouts in front of you. Your opinion is that Brussels sprouts are disgusting, but you must not judge yourself for feeling that way. You can calmly acknowledge your feelings and choose not to react emotionally.
Be gentle — not judgmental — with yourself and your perceptions, and don’t beat yourself up for having opinions.
Practicing Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life
Practice makes progress. Even though you might be naturally mindful or feel like you understand mindfulness more after reading this article, how do you begin or continue to improve being mindful?
Start by practicing.
Everything we know how to do, whether we are doing it mindfully or not, at one point in our lives took practice to achieve.
Mindful Breathing
Start with an easy breathing meditation when you wake up or before you go to sleep. Don’t think about relaxing, controlling or altering the breath, or keeping a clear mind. Just focus on your breathing.
How quickly, how slowly you breathe. Notice how your breath is cooler as you breathe in and slightly warmer as you exhale. Observe how deep or shallow your natural breathing is in this moment.
Do this for 5–10 breaths, and feel free to increase over time as you feel you are able.
Mindful Eating
Next time you eat, commit to turning off the TV, sitting with your meal, and truly focusing on just eating. Don’t have a conversation while you eat. Instead, be mindful of your meal.
Is it hot or cold? How does it smell? If it’s hot, is there steam rising from the dish? How is it plated? What utensils are you using to eat? What are the flavors you can taste in the dish? Are you full?
Purposefully experience all the sensations of eating as if you were doing it for the first time.
Mindful Walks
I take at least one walk a day. My walks are one of the best and easiest ways to be mindful. Instead of pumping music or a podcast into my headphones, I don’t wear headphones at all. I harness my 25-pound pup, and we set out the front door unencumbered by digital sounds.
Once we step out, I begin to notice the temperature and how sunny or cloudy it is. When my dog pulls me to sniff, and I sense myself becoming annoyed, I accept that she is a dog and needs to stop more frequently than I do; it is simultaneously okay for me to want to move at a quick pace. I am purposefully paying attention to sounds around me so we can maintain road safety.
Try leaving the headphones at home on your next walk and soak in your surroundings.
Practice Makes Progress
Once you start your mindfulness practice with mindful breathing, mindful eating, and mindful walking, over time, you should begin to notice the difference between when you are purposefully paying attention versus the times when you are doing things from muscle memory.
Beginning to notice your autopilot tendencies is a natural consequence of mindful practice. And once you begin noticing these tendencies, you can gently guide your mind back to the present.
Do the same thing when it comes to multitasking. The brain is physically incapable of focusing on two things at once. With mindfulness practice, you’ll begin to notice when your attention is divided and switching back and forth between multiple tasks. Non-judgmentally allow yourself to set aside one task and focus on a singular task to minimize the risk of mind-wandering.
Taking Mindfulness Meditation Further
Congratulations on reading this article and learning more about how to incorporate mindfulness into your every day. If you’d like to take your practice further, I recommend looking into formal mindfulness meditation. For instance, the internet, particularly YouTube, is full of guided meditations.
Try searching for things like “loving kindness guided meditation,” “mindful body scan meditation,” and “being present mindfulness meditation.” You get the picture!
Remember: less mind-wandering and more mindfulness will illuminate your existence. Harness your happiness by continuing to invest in your mindfulness practice!
*Sources:
Bradt, S. (2010, November 11). Wandering mind not a happy mind. Harvard Gazette; Harvard Gazette. https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2010/11/wandering-mind-not-a-happy-mind/
Multitasking and How It Affects Your Brain Health. (n.d.). Lifespan. https://www.lifespan.org/lifespan-living/multitasking-and-how-it-affects-your-brain-health#:~:text=What%20our%20brains%20are%20doing
Staff, M. (2021, February 11). Everyday Mindfulness with Jon Kabat-Zinn. Mindful. https://www.mindful.org/everyday-mindfulness-with-jon-kabat-zinn/#:~:text=Kabat%2DZinn%20adds%20to%20his
