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Magnetic Feels

A daily(-ish) TMS journal

Day 36: Time

Day 36: Time

It’s been two weeks since my last regularly scheduled TMS session. On Monday, Dr. Levine’s office began the process of petitioning Aetna…
Go to the profile of Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mary Phillips-Sandy
May 24, 2017
Day 35: Eat

Day 35: Eat

Every week, I sit in Dr. Levine’s office and complete a depression rating scale that includes the following section:
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
May 11, 2017
Days 33–34: Care

Days 33–34: Care

The fact that I have opinions and am capable of telling you about them should tell you something else, namely, that the TMS fucking works…
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
May 8, 2017
Days 29–32: Science

Days 29–32: Science

Or, some things to know about the technology and economics of TMS. Remember, I’m still not a doctor.
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
May 2, 2017
Day 28: Internet

Day 28: Internet

Or, a depressed person’s catalog of the connected world
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 25, 2017
Days 25–27: Clean

Days 25–27: Clean

The medical community has a term for when you don’t get around to showering and brushing your teeth because you’re too damn depressed…
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 24, 2017
Days 21–24: Orbit

Days 21–24: Orbit

Strange things are happening. Very strange. Bizarre. Let me explain.
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 19, 2017
Day 20: Selfish

Day 20: Selfish

What is going on out there? (Gestures toward the world outside my apartment.) Who knows? Not me. For the first time in my adult life, I’ve…
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 13, 2017

Days 18 & 19: Landscape

Unlike pharmaceutical treatments for depression, TMS has not (yet) made much of a mark on popular culture, in any medium. Eli Lilly first…
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 12, 2017
Day 17: Down

Day 17: Down

My goals for today were as follows: cook and eat a proper breakfast, groom the cat, go to the gym with the free day pass I downloaded, wash…
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 9, 2017
Days 13–16: Halfway

Days 13–16: Halfway

Yesterday’s appointment was #16. That means I’ve passed the halfway point for the daily protocol. Hooray?
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 6, 2017
Days 11 & 12: Response

Days 11 & 12: Response

When I arrived for Thursday’s appointment, after missing Wednesday’s, I wasn’t sure what to expect. But the only thing Kristy said was a…
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 2, 2017
Day 10: Unmade

Day 10: Unmade

There are two new voicemails on my phone. I haven’t listened to them; I’m not going to. One is from Dr. Levine’s office. The other is Dr…
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 30, 2017
Day 9: Sounds

Day 9: Sounds

Music! Remember that? Obviously YOU do. I’m not sure if I do.
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 28, 2017
Days 7 & 8: Inventory

Days 7 & 8: Inventory

Yesterday’s depression treatment was depressing.
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 25, 2017
Day 6: Different

Day 6: Different

Sophie has been out the past few days, which means my treatments have been administered by her colleague — let’s call her Kristy. I like…
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 22, 2017
Day 5: Failure

Day 5: Failure

Disclaimer: In case it isn’t obvious, I am not a doctor. I barely passed high school biology. I am not here to advise you. YMMV. Etc.
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 21, 2017
Day 4: Recap

Day 4: Recap

One week down, eight to go. Here’s the recap.
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 18, 2017
Day 3: Cost

Day 3: Cost

I’m only doing this because I can afford to.
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 17, 2017
Day 2: asdfjkl;

Day 2: asdfjkl;

Here is an incomplete list of interesting physical experiences I have successfully described to other people.
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 16, 2017
Day 1: Familiar

Day 1: Familiar

The promised mega-blizzard turned out to be nothing more than a wimpy winter storm, leaving the city with half a foot of slushy snow. I…
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 15, 2017

Day 0: Inert

Tomorrow evening, assuming the subway doesn’t shut down, I am going to see a man about getting my brain zapped with a magnet. There is a…
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Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 13, 2017
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