Colombian Mail Order Bride: My Story Finally Revealed!

My name is Clara, I’m 29 years old, and I have lived in Bogota, Colombia, for 27 years. In 2021, I met Luis on a dating site (LatiDate). The same year, he proposed to me, and 10 months later, I got my K-1 visa and boarded a flight to Austin. I stepped off the plane, and we got married 3 days later — and here, I’ll tell you my story.

How it all started

So, first of all, I always loved America and its culture, which is not surprising — I was always surrounded by this culture, from Disney and Pixar cartoons when I was a child to Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, and Drake when I was a teenager.

The very first thought that dating foreign men would probably be a good idea came to my mind when I was 19. The point with gringos, or extranjeros (because some Americans feel offended by the word Gringo which is pretty weird, to be fair), is that they are completely different from local men when it comes to a relationship.

Here’s how I came to this conclusion

In 2013, I studied at the National University in Bogota — that’s where Gabriel Garcia Marquez studied 90 years ago! The acceptance rate there is around 5%, so I didn’t expect much when I was writing my application, to be fair. But thank God, they accepted me — I always loved history, so I chose a History program.

The problem was that my family is not the very upper-class type, you know — and higher education in Colombia is really expensive. You can go to government-funded universities, and it will cost you $50 per semester, but I wanted to get the best education possible, and our National University costs much more than that. Let’s say 25 times more.

Yes, it’s nothing compared to how much it costs in the US, but hey, we are not as rich — you can google the average income in Colombia and get $2,000 per month, but in reality, it’s around $400-$600 from what I see and hear.

So, long story short, I needed money, I had no time for a full-time job, and I was struggling to find a half-time job. Au Pair looked like a great choice — I could make some money, improve my English skills, and see the country I was dreaming of with my own eyes! And it was great, to be honest. I was an au pair in Dallas — I worked as a babysitter for 2 months, and, of course, we hung out with local teenagers in the evening.

And those guys from Dallas were just… different. On another level, is that the way you say it? I mean, I spent 2 months there, and there wasn’t anything serious, but I felt like I was surrounded by real gentlemen — kind, respectful, and reliable. These three qualities are exactly… Well, I mean, I don’t want to offend anyone here, but these qualities are what many Colombian men lack. Kindness, respect, and reliability are the three pillars that changed my worldview completely.

Again, we didn’t even kiss. It’s just how American guys talk, how they listen to me, and how they express their interest. I didn’t realize men can express their interest in any other way than just staring at you or shouting “hola guapa” on the street.

But then, I had to return to the country. I had a relationship with a guy from Bogota in 2013, but this relationship only hardened my views on the subject.

First experience with international dating

And the problem was that Bogota is not the city where you can meet millions of Americans. Yes, there are a lot of tourists, but dating a tourist from the US who is only here for a week is definitely not what I wanted.

I’m a Catholic (maybe not the best one, but still), so I was not looking for a one-night stand, even with an American guy — I’ve always been told that if you date someone, you have to date them with the end goal of marriage, nothing else.

That’s why I started using online dating sites. I just googled something like “international dating,” clicked, created an account, and… drowned in disappointment. That site (I don’t even remember what it was called) looked like it was created years before I was born; it froze when I was scrolling, and guess what? I still uploaded a photo and got 2 messages with pictures attached on that very same day. These pictures were not what I expected, to tell the truth. So the first lesson was:

Choosing the very first dating website you find on Google is a bad idea. Some research will be required.

If you choose the very first site without any research, you’ll probably be disappointed with the quality of the website and with the quality of the communication there.

I did some research and found another website where Americans chatted with Latin American ladies. This one didn’t have any freezes and looked better than the first one, but the quality of communication was even worse.

So, I continued reading guides and reviews, and that’s when I realized my mistake. These sites were free, and you’ll never get what you want with free dating sites. The second lesson for me was:

Using free dating sites is a bummer. You need a trusted website that offers more than just a live chat — on LatiDate, for example, you can send long messages, exchange photos, and even request contact information of other people.

LatiDate and how it helped me

It’s a paid site for those who wanted to “find a wife in Colombia,” as they said, and well, although this might sound a bit creepy, that’s basically what I wanted. Serious relationships, marriage-minded people, that sort of thing.

I chatted with 1 guy there, and he was respectful and polite, but it was kind of boring. I don’t know how to explain it, but it was like there was no spark at all.

And that’s when Luis texted me. He was 33 when we first met online, but I didn’t care about the age gap in 2021, and I don’t care about it now, really. It just doesn’t matter — we really liked each other, we had a lot of things to talk about, a lot of things in common, and he even spoke Spanish (his mom was born in Uruguay). So here, we finally got a spark. We chatted for 2 months, and he even sent me a bouquet via that website — LatiDate has such a feature, but it’s pretty expensive from what I know.

We first met online in March, and in May, he first came to Bogota to meet in person. I was initially surprised and even shocked because, like, isn’t it too fast? But that’s when politeness and… gentlemanship kicked in.

That’s what still makes me crazy — Luis looks like a guy from Colombia, but he acts like a gentleman from the 19th century. That’s something I would never get in my country: he’s not aggressive, he’s emotionally sensitive, he doesn’t want to dominate in every sphere of our relationship, and he’s faithful. Of course, he’s also fun and intelligent, but it’s those character features and personal traits that conquered me.

So, only 5 dates later, when he asked, I said yes without any doubts.

Scam, stereotypes, and other problems I had

I know that there are a lot of stereotypes about us Colombians in the US. I know that these stereotypes are mostly about cocaine, drug trafficking, and Pablo Escobar. And I know that they are disgusting. So here’s another rule:

When chatting with a Colombian bride, you should forget the stereotypes. These stereotypes are stupid and really offensive.

I mean, there was a guy who sent me a pickup line that began with “Is your dad’s name Pablo Escobar?” and I was so furious about it! I’m not one of those people who go crazy about cultural appropriation, but it was so stupid and inappropriate, I don’t know.

The scam is another problem I faced. But as a “bride,” I didn’t suffer much from scammers — they are usually focused on American men looking for a partner. American men are richer, and they lose billions of dollars to romance scammers every year in the US, so scammers prefer focusing on them, not on poor girls from poor countries.

Note: Scammers are drawn to online dating websites like a moth to the flame because they think there are lots of easy targets there. Your goal is to not be an easy target for them.

What does it mean? Well, basically, just don’t send money to anyone online. Most of these fraudsters are pretty straightforward, and although they come up with different stories and excuses, the main part always sounds like “send me money.” In my case, that guy wanted me to send him $50 so that he could send me $1,000 — I don’t remember the details, but it looked so stupid I even laughed a little. Oh, and of course, choosing a good dating app with verified profiles will help, too.

Another problem…

No, it wasn’t a problem; it was just kind of an unpleasant experience for me. So, those interested in finding a Colombian wife have probably heard about marriage agencies. I contacted such a Colombian brides agency a few years ago before I found LatiDate, and the aftertaste was very unpleasant for me, to be honest.

I mean, there are lots of men searching for a stereotypical “Colombian mail order bride” there — a woman who would be sexy as hell, 100% loyal, very emotional (and very obedient at the same time), and who would love to be a stay-at-home wife with no ambitions or plans. Those kinds of men actually need a 3in1 set (sex doll, Roomba, and multicooker), not a wife.

And for me, it felt like the concentration of such men was the highest in a bride agency; while there were many “normal” guys on dating sites and mail order bride sites, the agency was full of those searching for a Trad Wife Straight From The 1960s. I didn’t like it, really.

The whole process is kind of weird — as far as I know, these agencies are pretty expensive for men, so most guys there only send 1 mail per week. I don’t know how to explain it, but there were mixed signals, weird hints, and, well, I just didn’t like those agencies, to be honest. There are lots of men there who want to “find a Colombian wife” with an emphasis on “Colombian wife,” you know what I’m saying? It’s like they have a fetish or something. I just didn’t feel comfortable there; that’s the problem.

But anyway, I can say with confidence that it was an easy journey for me. Today, it’s much easier than 20 years ago, and with all those trusted dating sites and review platforms like Trustpilot, it’s not much easier to avoid all those pitfalls and traps.

Where am I now?

Married and happy. We live in Austin. I work as a History teacher in a middle school, and every day feels like the best day of my life. There is no exaggeration here. Of course, we had to wait for 10 months to get a K-1 visa, and after that, I had to wait for 3 months to get my Colombian diploma validated, but we both were patient and calm during these 13 months, and finally, we got what we wanted.

But it’s eating me up knowing thousands of girls are less lucky than me (and men who are less lucky than Luis) out there. I want to help them all — I don’t have a lot of time, and it’s not going to be a full-time job, but I’m going to tell all the women and men who want to meet a foreign soulmate how to do everything right.

How to get a Colombian wife, how to not get scammed, how to avoid potential turn-offs in a relationship, how to choose a good dating app — I know that people have questions, and I know the answers to these questions. They’ll be here soon.