Knowing Your Passion
Lately, I’ve been getting questions such as, ‘What’s your plan for your future?’ Or ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’
You know,it’s a part of getting closer and closer to adulthood. Adulthood that always sounded so good to me when I was young, but now, it has been putting too much stress on my shoulders.
Who wouldn’t love going at night with friends, having your own place, or having the feeling of being independent? You’re finally free and the decisions that you make will be mostly up to you. You can finally do everything you want and spend your money on what you desired. All that sounded so good until I realised that they also came along with responsibilities and duties.
Responsibilities that you were never prepared for and real life problems that you were never taught to solve at school. You’d of course need to find a job, a job that you will love. And that’s where things get a little more complicated.
Knowing what you’re passionate about is not as easy as I thought it would be. Exploring your mind and yourself to know what you really are born for is genuinely hard. You don’t want to end up in a job that you hate or do things that you don’t like at all.
I believe that it’s what many teenagers, or young adults are facing right now. They call it ‘identity crisis’. It’s like you can’t find the purpose of your life. The feeling of being lost in this vast ocean and you don’t know which direction you’d take.
One of the first blogs I’ve written here on Medium was on life’s purpose but this time, let me talk about your passion for your passion is usually what determines your future therefore your purpose.
As young kids, we seemed to perfectly know who we wanted to be. I even remember that I always wanted to be a chef, then a doctor, then a pharmacist, then the list goes on. Questions about who and what we would be seemed to be no-brainer but as we got older, we’ve experienced more and seen more of life and that changed our minds, our perspectives, our passions.
As we have developed into a different person, our ideas have also become different.
So the question remains: What is the best way to know your aspirations in life? What I typically hear is that just do what you love. But how will you even know what it is that you love?
Allow me to share with you my story.
In the later part of the year 2016, I’ve somehow launched a search with myself, for myself whose main goal is to find who I am and what I love to do. I started it with trying photography, then painting and drawing, then sports, and finally writing, though writing has always been one of my favourite things to do.
Taking photos is without a doubt a very fun thing to do. I found myself experimenting with the camera and the lights and I just loved it. Taking pictures of trees, flowers, or skies is my favourite but I just realised that it could be a very fun hobby, not something that I would do forever. Consequently, I discarded the idea of focusing on photography too much, though my love for it has always been there.
What I found my hands with were the paintbrushes and pencils. Visual arts is truly amazing and I appreciate it so much but making one doesn’t seem to be my role. I’ve tried for months, to paint and to draw but I always failed and I thought the world of arts is way too big for someone like that’s not innately talented like me. I could stare at an artwork for hours and I think that’s just my role, to be a spectator. Though I haven’t fully quitted from being a drawer or a painter, I’ve decided I’d spend lesser time practicing. Perhaps one day, I could be a visual artist as well, after all, all it takes is intensive practice and certainly, passion.
Then, I was an athlete for a while then I realised it was not my forte. Basketball, volleyball, football, I’ve tried them all but I just embarrassed myself the last time I played. Since then, I’ve stayed away from sports and just played them because I had to. My score in Physical Education is even lower than my girl classmates’ grades. I’ve become used to being called ‘clumsy, sissy, and being made fun of by other people. I have grown numb of the laughter and the insults I hear.
After trying being an athlete, I’d been idle and my soul search was on hiatus. Partly because school and extra activities were getting in the way, but also partly because I’d been sluggish.
Finally, I figured it was time to get back to work. I decided to give more attention to writing.
As I’ve mentioned, since I’ve become proficient enough in English several years ago, my life as an amateur writer has started. Friends and teachers have noticed my ‘passion’ for it but I never really tried enhancing and making use of my ability until this year of 2017.
This is year is when I started my Medium account and hopefully more will come. Though I still doubt that my career in the future would be related to writing, I might give it a chance.
Trying to explore only four fields means that there may be other activities out there that I might like. I explored only up to where I could go. Perhaps I’d love editing videos or making short films as well, but without the access to the things I need, it would be impossible.
I suggest you try to do the same thing. Look for what you love, when it’s there, you’d just feel it. By trying new things, you’re going out of your comfort zone and gaining new experience. You could also try more than that. Furthermore, trying many things could give you a clue on what you like and what you don’t.
Just keep looking for your passion.
