What should I say? I’m okay.

I was chasing this feeling about all my teenage and now I can feel the whole thing. I must say, I was nearly giving up when it not happened for those years, but now it actually start to fill my soul. I’m not a new person, I’m just better than I was.

Society puts a lot of pressure in teenagers. Pressure by the college stuff, work stuff… life stuff. And this is too much for them. They are dealing with their bodies in eruption of feelings -hormones- and their minds can’t bear this. They are lost, trying to find themselves but they can not do it right, because the system don’t let them free for this natural thing.

This over pressure made me do things I’m not proud of, but also it made me stronger. Of course I was near from the rock bottom when I got up, and I needed a lot of help from illuminated people. They saved me from awful things, not all them, but most. Was necessary a year of healing and mistakes, and feelings and aches. Because my family, because college, because my love stuff.

Last year I was down, not in the ground, but hurt. And just in the day I was really depressed my (grand)mother died. I felt like I was lost forever. I couldn’t feel that anyone could make her absence a thing I could deal. And I had to wait for some weeks ‘till I joined a group which I could be in touch with really great guys, an awesome philosophy and philanthropic works ~all the things I’m really into~ and they heal my heart with this feeling. Not immediately like some childish film, but by a year. I am lucky.

I gave up the wicked manners I was addicted. Start to learn how to avoid discussions. Learnt how to put me in center, how to see things not by the front view, but the up one. I’m not saying that I make no mistakes, I just make them less than before. And if I do, I just fix it, normally. I’m better than before. And this coexistence made me accept my body to. (The society made me think that my body wasn’t normal, and because of this I put my health in danger. Some people doesn’t helped me, and I started getting out of this by myself, in the most part.).

This things fill me. Not make me a new person in the world. I am the same boy who was near from the evil side, and get out of it. I’m the same boy in panic who cried a lot because of anything. Now I don’t. I’m the kid who see the life as a happy ending story, but now I know what I must make to concrete this.