Photo by Shirly Niv Marton on Unsplash

Ladies, This is How To Get Financial Security (Accepting Applications From Men Too)

I am getting sick of hearing women around me say their ambition in life is to find a rich husband who can provide a luxurious life for them.

Then again, I know I can’t impose my views on them.

The Mission’s submission guideline rings in my ears, ‘strong opinions, weakly held’.

OK, I know, people will only learn when they have no choice but to.

After all, I was one of these women in my younger years, hoping that my rich prince charming would come and sweep me off my feet.

Then I’d live like a queen and get to do whatever I wanted without worrying about where the money came from.

But reality hit me in the face when I became a breadwinning mom instead.

And I heard god laughing her ass off at that point.

I spent the last few years kicking and screaming about it, seething with resentment and spending many sleepless nights worrying about money.

I decided I’d make a list of why you can’t depend on a husband, a father, a partner, a job, or any other external factor for your own financial security.

Yes, ladies*, the brutal truth is you can and should invest in yourself if you want true financial freedom and security.

*p.s. applicable to men too.

The Case For Investing In Yourself

Whatever stage in your life you’re at, whether you’re a working woman, stay-at-home mom, or retiree, it’s never too late to start taking charge of your financial life.

And it’s not something you can’t learn. Heck, if a financial imbecile like me can, anyone can.

All that’s required is an open mind, some curiosity, a willingness to learn and take action.

If not for yourself, then for the sake of our loved ones, especially our kids.

This breadwinning business taught me many valuable life lessons which I’ve listed below.

But first, here’s why you can’t depend on your husband, partner, father, job, or anyone and anything else to provide financial security:

Warning — The following content contains hard truths that some readers may find offensive or difficult to digest.

  1. They grow old and die.
  2. They get sick.
  3. They cheat and decide to leave you for that hot twenty-something at work.
  4. They are hit with disability and can’t work.
  5. They decide to make a career switch.
  6. Their business fails and they go bankrupt.
  7. They decide to go back to school.
  8. They lose their job.
  9. You get pregnant and the man skips town.
  10. The company you slogged your youth away at decides they need to restructure to ‘position themselves for growth’ and you lose your job at 50 when finding another job at the same pay scale is near impossible.

Before you think I’m making these up and that it’ll never happen to you, let me say that I’ve experienced some of these personally and seen the rest happening to family members and colleagues.

So these scenarios are very real and alive.

But enough of the depressing stuff.

I always like to end my articles on a high note and what you can do about it.

The Unexpected And Beneficial Byproduct of Bread-Winning

Here’s what I learned as a breadwinning mom.

Warning — Side effects of breadwinning may include a heightened sense of power, self-worth, confidence and feeling that you are a superwoman.

  1. You pick up skills and build expertise you never would have if you were spending your afternoons having tea with other ‘tai-tais’ (our local lingo to mean wives who are ladies of leisure).
  2. You develop confidence and a sense of self-worth.
  3. You learn to problem solve and build resilience in the face of challenges and suffering.
  4. You develop the discipline to do what it takes because your kids’ and family’s well-being depend on it.
  5. You feel damn good about yourself when you can make those you love happy — like paying for the family vacation to see the Northern Lights!
  6. Your life has meaning.
  7. You learn to make more money.
  8. You get savvy at growing wealth.
  9. You become more streetsmart — you don’t let others take advantage of you.
  10. You find your voice and place in the world.
  11. You gain peace of mind knowing that yours’ and your kids’ financial security doesn’t depend on one man, partner or job.

How To Get The Benefits of Bread-Winning, Even If You’re Not The Primary Breadwinner

So there you have it. My life essentially condensed in a couple of lists.

I won’t pretend it’s easy being a breadwinning mom. But becoming stronger, building resilience, discipline or problem-solving skills aren’t qualities you get easily either.

They aren’t gained overnight.

Like muscles, they need to be stretched, worked and you need to put in the reps to build strength and definition.

But anyone can do it. No matter what stage you’re in, whether you’re the primary breadwinner or not.

All you have to do is pick one thing to get closer to equipping yourself to be financially secure.

Then start. That’s all there is to it.

What have you done to make your life just a little more financially secure? Share in the comments below, I’d love to hear about it!

Originally published at on January 10, 2019. Join my newsletter to receive updates from a breadwinning mom on money, career and living a joyful life.