Mentoring — is it for you?
Dedicated to all my mentors, thanks for helping me be the person I am today.
Not so long ago, I participated (along with a friend) in the WTM conference in Madrid. She talked about how she had reinvented herself and I followed through by talking about my role in her re-invention process, as her mentor. The funny part is that I started my experience sharing by saying that I wasn’t an expert on the topic of mentoring and that there were plenty of books and articles, quite good, that explained what mentoring is much better than me.
But the truth is that people really liked my talk and they asked me to write down my experience on mentoring.
Mentoring: a day-to-day thing
Mentoring is a very ancient practice, not only in the professional world but also in the personal one. Consciously or unconsciously, we always turn to someone looking for guidance and advice. We all have this role model in our lives. But the best thing for the mentoring process to succeed is that this person we go to, is not a friend or a relative, but someone outside of this circle. What if the mentor becomes a friend? Even better! But this further relationship is born from something neutral and objective.
But watch out! Mentoring IS NOT Coaching!
Coaching is focused on specific tasks that will improve a concrete skill, like for example speaking in public or facing a job interview.
On the other hand, Mentoring focuses on personal relationships. The intention behind mentoring is to provide a safe place, where the mentee can share any problem or success, not only from his professional life but also personal one. This is why mentor and mentee don’t have to share the same professional background. I’ve been a mentor several times, and not only for tech people. I mentored a teacher once!
As I said at the beginning, I’m absolutely not an expert. But there is something I can categorically state: the most important thing in mentoring is that it is a bidirectional relationship: it is a win-win for both sides.
As mentor, you learn how to manage frustration, to listen, to guide without giving the answer or to give it when it is needed. Those are qualities that become really handy if you plan to go for a leadership role in your future.
As mentee, you learn that you are not alone, that there’s someone that has been through it already. You learn to learn, to know how to ask to get the answer you need, or you just simply have someone to rant with that it is fully neutral to your circle ;)
In the mentoring process, we can identify two phases: the first one is where the connection between mentor and mentee has to be created and nurtured. In the second phase, that link is strong enough so the relationship can start being fruitful. But that personal connection can only be created if you, as mentor, open up and share too, instead of just asking. As I’ve said before, it is much like needing two hands to clap.
Key points
I’ve recently been asked about those key points I think good mentorship requires. Although I insist: I’m not an expert, I can use my experience to highlight 5 points that have been proved to be the key on my previous adventures:
- Time: obvious, right? It needs time. But it is time with quality: you are not only giving but also receiving. You, as mentor, are learning too.
- Commitment: if there’s no commitment from both sides, the relationship won’t go anywhere. As it has been said, it requires time and if one side doesn’t feel that the other is into this as much as he/she is, the relationship won’t give the desired results.
- Transparency: because without it, trust can’t be forged. There’s no point in adding glitter and rainbows to the problems. You have to be careful about how you communicate an issue, by always being honest and direct. Don’t lie about or sugar coat or play down something that requires attention.
- Neutral zone: Another thing that helps to have a strong connection is that the place where the mentoring takes place, is neutral for both sides. If it is more familiar to one than to the other, there’s no balance. But having a neutral, physical place, it will soon become “The place”: a home for the mentorship.
- Motivation: This is probably the most important point. Motivation has to be kept alive from both sides. It is not only a mentor’s responsibility. If the mentee sees that the mentor is demotivated, he/she should do something to bring it back. Without motivation on both sides, the relationship won’t have the quality it needs to succeed.
Tuenti, mentoring and others
At Tuenti, the mentoring has been used since … forever? But it is true that we apply it in different ways.
For example, each team member has 1:1 meetings with his/her lead. Those meetings are not only used for sharing the current state of the tasks or asking for holidays, but also to define personal or professional goals and to follow up on them.
But we have other programs, similar to the mentoring, where we mix it with other techniques. For example, every newly hired member will have a buddy assigned. This buddy will guide him/her through the way of working and will help with the tools, as well as with the way the office works, the culture etc.
It can also happen that for a new hire, if we detected during the interview process some weak points to be on the same level than what we consider a junior, instead of having a buddy, will have a mentor a few months. This mentor will act as coach from two perspectives , as not only as a buddy to the new member to guide through all the ways of working and adapting to the organization, but also will focus on those weak points as specific tasks, like for example, refreshing design patterns or focusing on Object Oriented practices.
The truth is that I’ve been mentor and mentee as well, both in Tuenti. And I’ve enjoyed both experiences a lot. I’ve been lucky as I’ve had great mentors that have guided me to be the person/professional I am today, and I know I can still count on them. And if they are reading this, they’ll know who they are, so Thank you!
To everyone, I encourage you to live both experiences. There are a lot of mentoring programs everywhere, not only in the companies. I’ve recently become a mentor again, being part of the Adalab program.
And if you are one of those lucky ones whose organzation gives you the opportunity of participating in a mentoring program, don’t doubt it! It definitely will boost your career!
