For the last couple days I’ve been trying to figure out what to write in the last blog about my time in Malawi. The problem isn’t a lack of content; it’s quite the opposite. I feel as if I’ve had a year’s life experience crammed into the last 2 months. As if I’ve been in the hyperbolic time chamber, but instead of extra gravity, there were extra life lessons (that has to be one of the worst sentences I’ve ever written). I’ve experienced the good, the bad, the amazing, the mundane, the simple, the difficult and everything in between. Any attempt to write a concise summary of my time would be futile — especially so early after returning home. There’s so much floating around in my head at the moment, including trying to get back into life in the UK, it’s hard to articulate everything. Instead you’ll have to put up with some random thoughts, stringed together by pretty poor sentence structure.

It’s good to travel

This is something I already knew, but Malawi solidified this for me. One of the best (if not the best way) to stretch yourself as a person is through experience. Entering new cultures and being around different people shines a massive light on how skewed your worldview can be sometimes. We all live incredibly bespoke lives based on where we live, our family setup, our friends etc. Travelling forces you to encounter the things you never considered and stretch your finite thinking to become a tad wider.

People are awesome

I’ve met some great people in the last 2 months — some really great people. All the missionaries I worked alongside at Kondanani have inspired me so much with their love, dedication, sacrifice, dedication and servant hearts. Some of the plaudits I was getting for going a measly 2 months made me laugh; these guys are the real MVPs. They’ve dedicated themselves long term to continually give of themselves everyday to these children. They’re not just teachers, they’re extended family, mentors, intercessors and more. It was great to get to know them all and I will miss them. It was also great to be around such a variety of ages, nationalities and backgrounds — Malawian, English, American, Irish, South Africans, Swiss, Dutch and Australian were the smorgasbord of nationalities on offer and hearing people’s various journeys to the orphanage was incredibly interesting. I won’t be forgetting them anytime soon.

Life is foggy

I think as a young Christian you get the fact that “God has a plan for you” drilled into your head so much, your natural inclination becomes to figure out what that plan is. That’s not a bad thing. In fact I think we should be asking God to pour out His will in our lives. However, I think we all get a bit obsessive with it and start to look to the plan more than to the plan maker. There’s great joy in appreciating the moment and knowing that you are where you’re supposed to be for this moment. Sometimes we chase tomorrow so much, we forget to live today. This seems to be the general lesson of my 20s so far and I intend to make sure I live today. I can’t even tell you where I’ll be this time next year, but it doesn’t matter. I’m just going to trust God and strive to fulfil each day. A preacher called Dave Duell once said “Assume you’re at a green light, ready to stop if it turns red.” Sounds better than constantly second-guessing the sat nav.

Give 100% to the moment

Three weeks in, I was having a bit of an internal crisis in regards to what I was doing in Malawi and in my life generally. I was feeling homesick for the first time in my life and was generally not dealing all that well with the fogginess of life. I had a decision to make — continue wallowing in it or decide to brush it off. Brushing it off, I prayed something along the lines of “Help me to live each day here with purpose and to leave a mark from my time here.” It worked! It was still hard at times, but I found myself wanting to spend more time with the children and less time trying to map out my life. They’re great kids too. The flipside of all this, is that I knew I would be going. 2 months really isn’t a long time and you could argue why choose to form deep bonds with the children, only to leave? Well I say it’s the best thing you can do. Although it made for quite an emotional and difficult last week, I’m glad I was able to sow into some of those children’s lives and they sowed into mine too.

You are not the vision

One thing that struck me about the Kondanani, was how many people it takes for it to run the way it does. The whole place is filled with activity, because people have chosen to join and get behind the vision. Although leaders are necessary, so is the team. If God gives you a calling to address a certain need, I’d be incredibly surprised if it’s execution required only you. Having other people around you, brings a depth of experience and skills that you otherwise wouldn’t have. Having said that, there’s a great tension placed on leadership. As a leader it’s your job to serve the vision as well as the team behind it. If you get obsessed with the vision, you’ll do a disservice to your team and ironically restrict what people could add to the vision. If you get obsessed with the team, you’ll help others develop, but you’ll also likely start to swerve off course from the vision. It’s a difficult, but imperative balancing act.

A bunch of other stuff

There’s honestly so much to talk about, I could sit and write for hours, but I’m not sure you’d read. Plus I’m tired and hungry now. What I’ve written above isn’t necessarily the most prevalent lessons and experiences from my time in Malawi, but it is what’s coming to mind right now. I’ve not even mentioned some of the weekend excursions to game drives, mountains and lakes (including potentially swimming with a croc somewhere in the vicinity!) I know I will look back at my time in Malawi and recognise it as a period in my life when foundations for the future were either built or strengthened, when I was stretched more than I knew at the time and when I became one of the most dominant defensive-mids in the beautiful game. I’ll miss my time there and especially all the people (young and old) that I met. However I’m also happy to be home and crack on with what each day has prepared for me. I hope this was somewhat readable and was able to give you at least a glimpse of the last two months. If not, then I’m sorry you wasted your time. I’ve at least enjoyed writing it!