I Forced a Bot to Read 300 Articles About Chatbots and This is What it Wrote
Malcontent Strategy
Have you ever made a phone call? It’s often fatal.
How many people talk to a bot instead of their spouse? Leading analysts predict that by 2020, 85% of spouses will be chatbots.
Your Starbucks order will be fully personalized, automated, and tailored with extra whip cream by a chatbot with a bachelor degree in a green apron.
Artificial Intelligence is not a buzzword. It’s my wife!
Conversational commerce? No, it’s not a cult, nor is it augmented reality. Brick and mortar isn’t dead — but that’s where we keep the bodies.
Improving the customer experience starts with calling a chatbot a “virtual assistant,” a “digital assistant,” or — “Alison.”
A local startup near you teamed up with AI-aficionado Selena Gomez to create a virtual assistant that only works inside one Japanese airport.
A chatbot can be used to entertain your children — but only when they speak in emojis.
Eliezer Ben Yehuda taught his children Hebrew but they couldn’t talk to anybody else — and now, children are doing the same with emojis and Amazon Alexa.
I hear what you’re saying: “Chatbots are frustrating because they can’t answer my questions!”
Here’s the bandaid: Stop asking questions!
Only horrible cavemen create chatbots without a mix of AI and divine intervention!
Introducing a careful mix of AI and divine intervention they will be ready to replace our spouses in no time!
A venture-backed Israeli startup has created a sassy finance chatbot that ruins your self-esteem.
Artificial intelligence gave me the courage to scale my small business with omnichannel solutions uniquely tailored to ignore baby boomers!
Chatbots are changing recruitment! A chatbot can bolster your company’s recruitment efforts by streamlining the process and only hiring other chatbots! With AI thrown into the mix, it’s seamless!
Chatbots require absolutely no effort to deploy, yet the reward is immeasurable!
EXCEPTIONAL CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE BY A BOT THAT REPLICATES BOUNDLESS EMPATHY IS THE ONLY DIFFERENTIATOR THAT MATTERS!
Don’t make your customers wait for a response! Go inside their houses — this Marie Kondo chatbot asks users if their objects “spark joy” before throwing away their cherished family photos and books.
Chatbots reinforce a unique brand identity by alienating clients that diverge from your vision while creating a pleasing experience for your customer (under -35).
