Who run the world?
To criticize is to love, and to love is to criticize. I believe that the greatest test of love for something is whether we are willing to be benevolently critical of its flaws. I don’t get frustrated by the Phoenix Suns’ pathetic nine-year stretch — cursing the names of the decision-makers who got us in this mess — for no reason. I get frustrated because I want the best for my beloved Suns. I criticize because I care, because I love, and because I ultimately want the best.
Not to compare United Hearts to the Suns, but also to kinda compare United Hearts to the Suns; it’s a good time — as I begin the fourth quarter (another basketball reference, I’m heating up) of my journey here in Bawjiase — to critically examine some of the dynamics at United Hearts.
My criticism, in short: some serious dude culture. Pastor Elisha has recruited a fraternity of young men to commit their lives to United Hearts — sacrificing careers, further education, and disposable income. Living in the orphanage house, they take on, without complaint, the less-than-glamorous responsibilities that come with caring for 30 young children. As a result, power at United Hearts is concentrated in the hands of men. Men run the school, make key decisions, and most heavily influence the lives of the children. I’ll save the details for now, but that power imbalance sustains an inherently sexist infrastructure.
I love those guys. In just three months they have become some of my best friends. I am amazed by their compassion and undying commitment to the children at United Hearts. Kojo Pee, a third-year university student, once said, “Even when I’m done with university, I will always return home. It is our responsibility to take care of and love these kids. We are family.”
But manly compassion can only go so far to address institutional dude culture. Trust me, I’m an expert in institutional dude culture. This may sound abundantly obvious to most of you reading this, but the way dude culture becomes dangerous is if female voices simply aren’t heard. That notion isn’t exactly crystal clear in Bawjiase, Ghana, as traditional household gender roles continue to dominate the gender balance. Modern feminism hasn’t trickled to Bawjiase in the same explicit ways it has in much of the Western world. So, yes, there are some explainable cultural tides in Bawjiase that wash male perspectives to shore and female perspectives out deep into the ocean. But that is not an excuse to not take a step back with a critical yet benevolent eye, and ask, how are we listening to our female companions?
I take to a public forum with this not to criticize the men. I simply want to highlight the women! I want to use whatever power I possess from having a keyboard, the Internet, and an (albeit small) audience (hi Grandma) to give the women at United Hearts the microphone they rarely control. The stories you’re about to hear from them unearth something uniquely universal about their power, their resilience, and their brilliance in the face of the strong “dude culture” they’re up against. I felt selfish for holding these stories to myself for this long.
Folks, I’m excited to present to you, a few of the kick-ass ladies of United Hearts…
Martha Asamoah
Maame. Mommy. Ma. Mom. Martha is called all of those motherly labels and more by every member of the United Hearts family. As Pastor Elisha’s wife, she sits as the matriarch of the entire organization. Even the headmaster, an older man with no biological relationship to Martha, calls her Maame (vaguely pronounced “mommy”). I call her Ma, too. Her stabilizing maternal force steers this whole ship. One of her duties as captain of the ship is as a prolific and passionate seamstress solely responsible for sewing each student’s school uniform. 300 students. Two uniforms per student. I’m telling you, it’s prolific. She fulfills the stereotypes of a quintessential mother-figure for us all — protective, demanding, and through it all, deeply loving. I was fascinated by what drives her to do such important work for the children of Bawjiase.
It became clear when talking to her that her most tightly held value is family. “We’re all one big family here, and it makes me so happy that all the kids can think of me as their mother,” Martha said. This profound belief in family is precisely why she was the driving force for starting an orphanage just about 12 years ago. She met Promise, a boy of 10 years old at the time, walking around town with a gash in his leg. Lost, he had no idea who his family was. Martha, as she describes it, saw his broken family and desperately wanted to provide him a safe haven — a new family to which he could always return. In this quest to provide a stable family for Promise, and then up to 50 kids since Promise, Martha’s vision became a reality.
Martha then told me, through a huge smile, “I just want them to be good people, to be able to sustain themselves on their own.” This dream Martha carries with her is the foundation on which everything else at United Hearts is built. It’s truly impossible to imagine this place without its Maame leading the way.
Sister Rose
I hate to play personal favorites with my friends at United Hearts but whatever, Sister Rose is my favorite. She is the type of person who inspires with warmth — one of the first people who made me feel truly comfortable here.
Sister Rose’s story gets off to a rocky start. Born in Bawjiase, her father, without her mother’s consent, sold Rose off to a woman living in a distant village. Rose was abused during her childhood years in addition to be forbidden from receiving an education. Shocked by this revelation, I then asked her how English got so good, and she replied matter-of-factly, “I can’t read or write but I love learning.”
Once she turned 18 and uncovered her true family history, she went back to Bawjiase to find her biological mother. Fast forward some years and Sister Rose gets pregnant with her boyfriend. Four months into her pregnancy, the father mysteriously disappeared. Now, pregnant and without any income or support, she became desperate to build a comfortable life for her soon-to-be-born baby boy. By what Sister Rose calls “the grace of God,” a friend introduced her to Pastor Elisha. Pastor opened the orphanage’s doors to Sister Rose, answering her prayers that her baby boy Oboy, now 14 months old, could have a roof over his head.
Taken aback by her story, I felt compelled to ask specifically about her experiences with gender imbalance. Now laughing as if to emphasize its obviousness, she said plainly, “Ghana men are wicked.” She then went on to explain how difficult is to be a woman in Bawjiase, “It’s very hard to be a woman here. We’re not allowed to take care of ourselves and without an education, I would be forced to sell things in the market just to feed Oboy if we weren’t at United Hearts. We have to work so hard around the house all day while men do very little.”
Even in the face of gender imbalance, Sister Rose is not defined by broken families or illiteracy. She loves dancing. She loves joking. And most importantly, she loves cooking. Just saying the word “food” lit up her face like a Christmas tree. And the UHCC children should be grateful she loves it so much; she is the commander in charge of United Hearts’ mission to make sure no child goes hungry. “I can cook ANYTHING,” Rose bragged. Based on what I’ve tasted of her cooking, you’re not hearing an argument from me.
Sister Rose concluded her story by saying defiantly, “I want to raise Oboy to be a good man, not like my father or his father.” This undying positivity and relentless pursuit of happiness is exactly who Sister Rose is. She might not be privy to any decisions at United Hearts, but her spirit drives this place as much as anyone’s. We’re all better off because we know Sister Rose.
** Important clarification that took me like a month to figure out: Sister Rose is not a nun and never has been a nun. The “Sister” designation is simply a sign of respect.
Madam Alberta
Madam Alberta, just 25 years old, is the oldest female teacher on staff. This is her third year at United Hearts, also making her the longest-tenured member of the faculty. Although now leading the nursery classes, she’s bounced around three or four different classrooms, serving as a Swiss Army knife happy to fill whatever role she can. Her journey to United Hearts is emblematic of the numerous female teachers who have served at United Hearts over the years.
Alberta moved to Bawjiase when she was eight because her mother couldn’t afford taking care of Alberta and her four siblings. She grew up dutifully going to school, demonstrating that she was a standout inside and outside the classroom. After completing junior high school at 14 years old, way earlier than most Ghanaians, she went to senior high school with dreams of success in whatever she chose to do. Her academic success and interests, the way she puts it, were overshadowed by extracurricular success in singing and athletics. She became known as a superstar track athlete in the 200m and high jump. The next obvious step for her was continuing on to university.
But as is the case for many low-income students, especially women, university was financially out of reach. So, to save money for college, Alberta began teaching at a primary school in Bawjiase. But one day at her local Pentecost church, a guest preacher named Pastor Elisha rolled through in a visit to her congregation. Alberta was so inspired by what Pastor Elisha was doing at United Hearts, attracted by the sense of “unity” Pastor espoused, she jumped over to United Hearts to begin teaching. And she’s glad she trusted her instincts. “We are all united here at United Hearts. We are united and friendly. When I’m on vacation I don’t feel happy at all. My children are the best part of my life.”
Alberta loves teaching and is genuinely gifted at keeping 3-year-olds entertained for 7 hours a day (a gift only few of us possess). However, she still maintains, “I would love the chance to go to university one day.” But now 25 with a 2-year-old son named Kofi, she’s not optimistic about that dream ever being realized, saying, “Nobody will be there to take care of Kofi if I just leave.” Any disappointment she has about falling short in her educational pursuits is washed away by her overwhelming positivity. She loved talking about her own life over the course of the interview, but nothing made her smile as wide as when I mentioned Kofi. Maybe she isn’t the university-educated track star that she once imagined she could be because of her realities as a low-income woman. But the energy she gets from motherhood and teaching gives her all the power in the world.
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These three women perfectly symbolize unity, power, and relentless pursuit of education. In all of them, the young girls of United Hearts have some pretty outstanding role models. I’m sure that these women, in conjunction with the male leaders of United Hearts who are committed to empowering their female companions, will make United Hearts a safe and thriving space for young girls to develop into the leaders of tomorrow. I wish I had more space to write about these young women and girls, but you’re just going to have to trust me, the future of Bawjiase is female.
