Blackgate: Father Figures and the Trauma of Dismantling Them

[This essay was funded through Patreon under the ZEAL project. ZEAL aims to provide high quality criticism of rarely discussed games and comics, and showcase the talents of exciting new writers and artists. For details and information on how to donate, please check out our Patreon, where you can also get exclusive video content for $5+!]

I think this is where it hit me. That moment when you realize that a certain game is more than just a game. Either through nostalgic playback or who you were at that moment. This was certainly the latter. Jack, the anthropomorphic Labrador above, wasn’t really something of a surrogate father: I don’t think video games can get that close. But, for the time being, the acceptance from something of a father figure was a bit comforting; given that the relationship between me and my real father during the time was rocky at best.

I remember hearing about Blackgate probably around the mid-tier of its inception. It was an adult visual novel that was getting a lot of attention in the furry and bara community, for good reasons. A lot of the artwork was being passed around through Tumblr blogs or through passionately Discord-driven Chan boards. Mainly the explicit sex scenes, done in gorgeous detail by Darkgem, were being plastered all over the forums. Though, I wouldn’t have the balls to download it and play it until much later, probably last year.

The whole point of the game is that you’re stuck in this town with all these pretty unique, weird monsters solving a mystery. However, throughout your adventure within the town, you’re usually partnered up with one character who often joins in the adventure. Whether that be an arrogant, cat-like librarian, an alcoholic bartending werewolf, or a boar that checkmarks the Dirty Harry archetype. These characters have their own unique spin to them, with each arc adding more to the story. But there was a certain uniqueness to Jack that wasn’t there for, say, Gruff the boar or Alin the werewolf.

Firstly, Jack is probably the only main character that you partner with that doesn’t have to do with the main arc. It gives an outsider’s perspective towards the plot and who’s involved. But I think also one of the reasons why he’s so unique is also how “upfront” he is at first glance. Whereas most of the characters are very secretive, even downright dismissive of you, Jack seems to be the only one who welcomes you with open arms. And mostly because you and Jack have a sort of relatable past. When asked about the town, Jack lets you know how he wasn’t originally from Blackgate and was taken from both his wife and child.

Already from the get-go, you both find companionship in each other’s sorrows. Two people plucked from their distinct worlds only to be transported into a realm of nightmares. The following dialogue options are mostly you and Jack expanding on the memories and emotions that he went through and is currently going through, particularly with the loss of his son and the hope that you bring him.

However, during the fourth night, you and Jack start talking about the depth of your relationship, leading him taking you under his wing and both of you considering one another as a family. And I think this is one of the main differences between him and not only all the characters in the game, but also other “daddy” characters in gaming.

I’ve seen other “daddy” characters before: most notably, the dateable options of Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator. But they’re mainly there for aesthetic purposes, or to show diversity and narratives that aren’t really shown. But there wasn’t any “daddy” character that really bonded with me like a father. The arc with Jack, however, is how one is able to find family in a place that is far from family. Also, Jack isn’t just your father from the get-go, but rather a surrogate figure after everything seems lost. Dream Daddy is more about how to be a father; the interactions of your character are also centered around Amanda, your daughter. The relationships that Dream Daddy explore are not only just romantic ones but also a paternal one; balancing looking for love while being a mentor to your daughter, who’s leaving for college. The one that Blackgate explores is similar but flipped; Jack stands as both a father figure as well as a “dateable option” for the player. And while that may not float with everyone’s boat, it adds a certain unique closeness to the character. A closeness that I hadn’t felt since the conversation between me and my father about my own sexuality.

My father doesn’t know I’m gay. And yet, I’ve technically already “came out” to my father at least once. The way that I “came out” to my dad, however, was something almost akin to a black comedy routine, only without the punchline. In truth, my dad forced me out.

It happened in the summer of last year. My dad and I were heading home from the Sports Authority right up the block, near Dadeland Mall. We were already only a couple of blocks away from the house, when he asked me, “So, that ‘thing’ belongs to a friend of yours?” I nodded. In truth, he was referring to the C/B ring that I had in my drawer. The day before, he saw a glimpse of it and demanded to know what it was.

“Alright, alright.” Mumbling to himself. I started to get nervous. It always meant that he was either content with the answer he was given, or he was thinking of more questions. It was always a 50/50, but you knew something was up when he mumbled. However, I did not expect the punch in the gut that I got.

“So, is there any other ‘things’ you want to tell me?”

I shake my head.

“Cause I found some other ‘things’ in the bedroom.”

My heart sunk down into my gut at that moment. He must have found my ‘toy’ collection, either in the bathroom or underneath my bed. The rest of the ride was spent with him asking if I was gay, or if I fooled around with boys, each question more agitated and aggressive than the last. Which would’ve been horrific, had he not said stuff like “That shit’s the size of my arm — no, bigger!”

I rebutted with a “Why does it matter?”

He replied with “Cause I care about you,” and“I’m afraid you might catch a disease.”

Finally, I snapped, bluffing that I may have fooled around with a couple of friends in Atlanta. Never talking about the two boys down in Miami. A scowl ran down his face. A usual go-to that something didn’t go right. A sign of his rage. We were in the driveway when he kept telling me that “I wasn’t gay,” and asked if he “should hire a prostitute? No seriously!” All the while, I kept hoping that this was a joke. That this wasn’t happening. But it was. And yet so overblown was this conversation it felt almost cartoonish.

We don’t speak about what happened then. We didn’t even speak about it at the dinner table the same day. But there’s something missing. Every time he points out a woman, every time he asks about my love life, even that one moment during the holidays, when he asked, “Are you still a queer?”; the gap gets larger and larger. And when that gap becomes too big for you to notice, you look for any chance to escape it.

Back in Blackgate, things take a turn for the worse. After you both agree to look out for each other, in a father/son kind of way, you see Jack being given envelopes. Thinking it to be police work, you just ignore it. However, you’re stabbed on the fifth night. Afterwards, Jack becomes more and more suspicious. And soon you realize that his way of keeping an eye on you entails something more sinister than you imagine.

At first playthrough, I didn’t really think about it. I thought that Jack was just this nice ‘fatherly’ guy that just so happened to be a bit sneaky. It wasn’t until my second playthrough in which I realize how overprotective, yet dangerous, Jack was.

There’s a scene in the game where you and Jack are at the diner. Suddenly, a mob of monsters comes for you. In this moment, you’re given a choice: stay in the diner, or confront the mob with Jack. Both of which leads up to these scenes.

And yes, I know that one is the game giving you the ‘wink-wink, nudge-nudge’ reference but it all becomes clear just how terrifying it is being in the protection of a man that will literally kill to protect you. It’s even foreshadowed earlier on, when one of the cops, Rotis, tells you, after calling him a psycho, “I’m not the only one.” And then comes the sixth night.

As Jack takes a shower, after both of you spend some quality time last night, you decide to go and investigate the envelopes that Jack keeps hidden from you. That’s when you realize, Jack’s been paid by several contracts, both of which involves protecting you and killing you.

Now, when I got to this scene originally, I thought it ended too soon. You confront him, he apologizes, you accept. The more I thought about it, the more I saw how the conflict continued on. You weren’t referring to him as ‘father’ or giving any hint of familiarity to him. You tried to pretend as friends, but there was something going on. Now, playing it again, it’s kind of both.

You both have your external moment of conflict: you ask him about the envelopes, he apologizes, and you accept it. But the conflict that the game focuses on the most is internal: your process of knowing the truth about Jack.
Even though you both seem to move it behind you, the game doesn’t spend a single second without bringing up the conflict within the protagonist: being cared for and mentored by the same person who may or may not try to kill him. But, in the end, there’s a moment of recognition, in a sense. You may not upfront call him dad, but you still fight together. You still look out for each other. There’s still a sense of loyalty and protection, even if hidden in secrets. And it’s this realization, that has probably affected me the most in this playthrough.

My dad still loves me. I know that for a fact. He’s always the type that would stop whatever he’s doing turn towards you and say, “You know that I love you? You know that, right?” I think it was as we were driving, way before the scene before this one, in which he asked me “Have I always been a good father?”

But I’m still afraid. That this will be gone as soon as I confirm that my gayness isn’t a phase. I’m still afraid of the time my brother came home for Thanksgiving and the arguments that happened. And soon you realize, you are pulling that gap just as your father is. And the traits you look for when looking for that queer “father figure” isn’t just fatherhood, but perfection.

But what Blackgate, more specifically Jack, taught me, if anything, is that there’s more to just fatherly love than just perfection. One of the unique things within Blackgate that I haven’t seen in most other Western visual novels is its dedication to keeping each genre that it strives for equal. Some horror games may have a romantic subplot. Some romantic games may have some elements of horror. But Blackgate pulls no punches and makes it well known that it’s both a romantic and a horror game. And one of the ways they pull this horror/romance trick is the doubt with each character. One of the elements to its horror is the sense of deception and mistrust. Not everyone is what they seem. Therefore, Jack’s arc is not only just a small escapist’s fantasy but the heart of the themes the game offers; a police officer, who, at first seems friendly and compassionate, but is also not afraid to get his hands dirty to do the right thing. He may give a wave and tell corny dad jokes but he can also chop a guy’s arm off if it controls the crowd. He gives you guidance, protecting you from the town, but isn’t afraid to kill you it means doing the right thing. But still, he does the right thing.

And again, while there isn’t that closeness in the beginning, it certainly has gained more depth. You realize that he may not be the perfect guy but still the best you got. And best certainly isn’t bad. Maybe that’s just father figures in a nutshell. As Andrew Holleran states in the book The Man I Might Become, “Fathers have always been, in life and literature, a mystery we believe we must decipher before we can understand ourselves…”

What Jack taught me, is that no matter how deep I fall into the power fantasy, there will always be a gap. But through time, that gap may be healed.

However, my Dad isn’t a mystery like Jack. My father accepts the facade that I give him, not for who I am. And, just like my father, I seem to fall into the same facade when facing Jack. I wanted the Jack that could do no wrong. What I got was a messy, difficult, complex, but still loving Jack. And what I realized is that perfection doesn’t and can’t love.