Gratitude vs Love
What are the differences?
As in Merriam’s dictionary, Love is defined in 3 different way:
(1) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal tie
(2) attraction based on sexual desire
(3) affection based on admiration, or common interests
When talking about “Love”, most of us care about (2) more than (1) & (3) —which are “Gratitude”
Love normally starts with common interests & tights with sexual desires. By time, the relationship is getting stronger — making it’s bigger than just two individuals.
But for individual, Love has expiration date but impossible to know exactly; you may feel it or experiment it when it’s getting closed but you can’t predict it. The expiration happens could due to many reasons:
- Knowing each other too well makes it more predictable, less romantic;
- Tiredness of responsibilities makes it bondage instead of meaningful
- Being too selfish instead of caring (self & others)
- Or random events like wake up one day & feel like nothing is needed
At time of expiration, gratitude is growing much stronger than sexual desire
Actually, gratitude not just happen when love is expiring. Whenever conflicts, disagreements or arugments get to serious level; gratitude is the only thing that would heal the relationship mentally & logically.
It’s when lovers think about other side; recall reasons they starts the relationship & consequence. While in normal, people often mention love starts with your feeling. But to keep love long lasting, just your feeling is not enough: Being empathy,being selfishless, being gratitude… is how you appreciate your lover & truly want to keep your relationship
What is most important?
May be a better question would be “What do you need most from your lover or what does a long lasting relationship require”. It may be answered from few following questions:
- The feel of being sexual satisfied or being listened & empathy?
- The feel of keeping things fresh together or always under control & predictable as a habit?
- The feel of dependent & freedom or constrained & restricted?
- …
Surely the left sounds more interesting, but the right is what keep relationship matured. I don’t really know the answer, but I know am struggling…
Hanoi, Mar 2022
