Designing Networking Events that People Actually Want to Attend
It’s not about what you want. It’s about what they need.
As a young individual contributor, attending networking events meant fending off the drunken advances of senior leaders gracefully enough to avoid damaging my career prospects. Eventually, I opted out of official networking events in favor of less dangerous ways of connecting with colleagues.
My experience is hardly unique, and networking events with more alcohol than accountability fail to create a welcoming, much less safe, place for employees to connect. This is as much of a loss for individuals as it is for the organization.
Why? Inclusive networking opportunities are a business imperative. Employees need strong relationships to lead cross-functional projects, overcome silos, and drive the innovation that comes when people with diverse points of view partner effectively together.
To create networking events that truly create belonging for all employees, we must understand the different factors that promote and inhibit effective networking. We often focus on individual factors and ignore the group characteristics that influence the accessibility of networking. In the chart below, I look at both dimensions.
Although I have presented these characteristics in a 2x2 chart, they exist along a spectrum. Some individuals will recognize themselves and their groups in the above categories, while others will find themselves somewhere in between. Either way, by understanding the variables involved, we can design more effective networking opportunities for our teams and organizations.
Individual Characteristics
All of us have a unique set of personality characteristics but no matter what our temperament is, there are ways to grow our networks.
The Independents
We often think of the characteristics in the upper-left quadrant as synonymous with introverts, but the value we place on privacy and the levels of social anxiety we have are independent of our intra- or extraversion. Nor should we write off Independents because they “aren’t social enough.” Organizations rely on the analytical, technical, and scientific aptitudes that people with these characteristics often have. Furthermore, the Independents can be excellent listeners, a skill required for careers in the legal system, medicine, customer service, and human resources, among others.
Because networking is not inherently rewarding for this group, planners must design a shared activity that appeals to the group’s interests. These activities include smaller, structured events like a get to know you lunch or facilitated conversations on a topic of interest. Many Independents enjoy working on projects or volunteering as a way to build relationships.
The Naturals
People who possess characteristics in the upper right quadrant are natural networkers. Connecting with new people is inherently rewarding for them, and they thrive in large unstructured events. These folks may enjoy going to bars, mingling at fundraisers, and striking up conversations with strangers. They also do well in the smaller, structured networking activities that Independents prefer.
Because the Naturals enjoy networking, they often sponsor networking events and opportunities within organizations. They can become even more effective in this role by considering how to appeal to the Independents.
Group Characteristics
I am a proud Independent, and yet I have a large social network. That’s because I’ve found places where I truly feel welcomed and included.
When I don’t feel welcomed or safe, I opt out. In the past, leaders have assumed that my lack of interest was due to my personality, or because I wasn’t a team player.
Those leaders missed the impact that group characteristics have on the willingness and ability of people to participate.
The Unwelcoming Group
In the bottom left-hand quadrant, we have groups that discourage networking. In these groups, the cost of participating outweighs the benefits for some, if not all, people.
When we are “the only one” or in the minority, it’s likely that our needs and interests won’t be considered in the planning stages. An event might be too expensive, and the time might be inconvenient, such as during child pick-up times, religious holidays, etc. Activities might not be accessible for everyone, such as when my coworker was required to attend a rock climbing event shortly after undergoing surgery.
In an Unwelcoming Group, acceptance means conforming to a narrow set of identities and behaviors. The less we fit in, the more energy we must expend to hide or downplay important parts of ourselves. We can’t safely share our interests, our passions, or how we spend our time outside of work. Covering our identities is exhausting, and it prevents us from building new relationships by sharing authentic parts of ourselves.
Not having access to power, which we need to advocate for ourselves and interrupt harmful behavior, also discourages networking. I still remember my discomfort from many years ago when a senior leader insisted on driving a group of us while drunk.
Even if we are interested in an event, we may avoid networking if we have seen leaders or peers shame others or retaliate against those who speak up. In extreme cases, we may even fear for our safety or job security.
“Why get closer to people who have demonstrated that they are not trustworthy and do not value me?”
Participants in an Unwelcoming Group ask themselves, “Why get closer to people who have demonstrated that they are not trustworthy and do not value me?” If they must go to an event, they appear briefly, engage with people they already know, and leave as soon as possible.
In some cases, leaders of Unwelcoming Groups have good intentions and are genuinely surprised by low turnout. They may mandate attendance without looking at the underlying dynamics that cause people to opt out. If you suspect you are leading an Unwelcoming Group, it is time to re-assess your leadership style, bring others into the planning process, and more closely consider the needs and interests of your employees.
The Welcoming Group
Many factors go into creating a Welcoming Group. Being part of the majority means that our preferences and interests are considered and catered to. We likely have enough power to advocate for ourselves. Psychological safety means we can make a mistake or say the wrong thing without it being held against us for all time.
Even if we aren’t part of the dominant group, a Welcoming Group values our needs and interests. Leaders invite us into the planning process and seek our feedback. Members of the Welcoming Group actively build relationships with people who are different from them. Leaders understand that low attendance is feedback that the event didn’t appeal to their employees, and they use this information to do better in the future.
As a result, we want to attend networking events planned by the Welcoming Groups.
Tips for Organizations
If Unwelcoming Groups are present in the organization, it’s imperative to engage in culture change and diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) work. However, meaningful change takes time, and it may be productive to seek smaller, quicker wins along the way. Here are a few tips.
- Design an intentional strategy to leverage networking in pursuit of organizational goals: employee development, reducing silos, increasing feelings of belonging, etc.
- Move away from a one size fits all approach and tailor networking opportunities to appeal to different types of individuals.
- Create Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) if you do not currently have them. If you do have them, provide adequate funding so that they can provide safe spaces to network.
- Move away from mandated networking events.
- Involve and include participants in planning events.
- If you are a leader, set aside your preferences in favor of your team’s needs.
- If your event flops, learn what you can and do better next time.
- If someone else’s event succeeds, celebrate the win.
- Encourage team members to partner across the organization.
Case Studies
Case Study 1 🏳️🌈
A Pride ERG held its events in a gay bar located an hour away from the workplace. Although a core group of members attended regularly and created strong friendships, many others never participated. The ERG leadership polled members and discovered that events were inaccessible for parents, nondrinkers, and those who relied on public transit or lived far away from the bar. In response, the Pride ERG added breakfast seminars and meet and greets on campus. Participation improved dramatically.
Case Study 2 🍺
One department’s networking events revolved around drinking. Many employees did not drink or did not care to drink around their coworkers. These employees tended to attend briefly, if at all. The department kept its happy hours but began to add new events. Every quarter, the department was divided into groups of 5–6 people to share a free lunch, which proved popular. The department even hosted a Pokemon Go walk that younger employees flocked to.
Neither of these groups had to give up the way they networked. Instead, they gave up the idea that their preferred way of networking was the best way. By opening up to new opportunities and experiences, they became more effective at creating opportunities for employees to make and sustain new relationships.
Conclusion
The next time you hold a networking event or team building session, think about whose needs aren’t being considered. Welcome others into the planning process. And finally, if you are operating according to the Golden Rule, it’s time for an update. The Platinum Rule, which is treating others as they want to be treated, will help you create welcoming events that people actually want to attend.
Kai Stowers is a consultant, Professional Certified Coach (PCC), and has a master’s degree in Organizational Psychology and Change Leadership from Columbia University. He partners with organizations to help leaders build high-performing, engaged, and inclusive teams. Learn more at kaistowers.com.
