Dysfunction Begins with Desires

The Four Common Desires that Make Dysfunctional Managers Dysfunctional

I used to think that effective managers were trying their best, while dysfunctional managers were just coasting by.

But my experience has taught me that 99% of all managers, whether effective or dysfunctional, are trying their best with the skills and resources that they have.

So, in the case of dysfunctional managers, what is really interesting is that “their best” is actually dysfunctional, yet they do not have the capacity or self-awareness to realize it.

This has led me to wonder:
What is it about dysfunctional managers that leads them to believe that their dysfunctional actions and decision making are appropriate courses of action?

From my research on leader and manager mindsets, I have learned that what causes their “best” intentions to be so dysfunctional is rooted in their desires.

Specifically, they possess at least one of the four desires that, while common and even natural, actually drive dysfunctional leaders to be dysfunctional.

Desire to look good.

When a manager is focused on looking good, he/she:

• Seeks to avoid challenges (things that have a risk of failing).
• Is willing to throw people under the bus when things go wrong.
• Selects employees that look up to them (“yes men” and “yes women”) instead of people that will push or challenge them.
• Will prefer engaging in self- or organization-promotional opportunities over doing strategic work.

It is easy for managers to fall into this trap of wanting to look good because reputation plays an important role in one’s ability to manage and direct others.

But, when managers value looking good over actually becoming good, it drives them to operate in dysfunctional ways.

Effective managers are less concerned about looking good and more concerned about having a positive impact on those they manage and the customers they serve. When a manager has a desire to positively impact on others that outweighs a desire to look good, they are more willing to (1) take on challenges, (2) look in the mirror when something goes wrong, (3) select employees they consider to be smarter or more capable than them, and (4) focus on doing work that has a true, deep, and lasting impact.

Desire to be right.

When a manager is focused on being right, he/she:

· Seeks to have ideas supported.

· Is quick to provide answers.

· Avoids feedback and different perspectives.

· Believes that he/she knows best (unwilling to admit that they are wrong).

· Interprets disagreements as threats.

When managers are insecure in their management, they have a fear of being wrong. Because if they are seen as being wrong, they feel like they will lose power.

Thus, some managers are focused on being right and being seen as the person with all the “right” answers. But, when managers are focused on being right, they often stifle the voices of others and the deep dialogue that is necessary for optimal decision making.

Effective managers are less concerned about being right and more concerned about thinking as optimally as possible. In fact, effective managers often have a deep fear of being wrong. Thus, they are driven to (1) seek out new information and different perspectives, (2) ask questions (as opposed to give answers), (3) seek to understand, (4) believe that they can be wrong, and (5) see disagreements as opportunities to learn and think more effectively.

Desire to avoid problems.

When a manager is focused on avoiding problems, he/she:

· Focuses on what is urgent, not what is important.

· Seeks to maintain the status quo (not rock the boat).

· Becomes vigilant, often to the point of micromanaging.

· Is unwilling to take the risks that are necessary to succeed.

Sometimes managers feel that as long as things don’t go wrong under their watch, they are being an effective manager. This leads to what I call “management of least resistance.” When managers are focused on avoiding problems, they head down the path of least resistance. And, we know where that path leads: downhill.

But, management is not about avoiding the bad, it is about taking the essential steps to succeed.

Effective managers focus on what is important, which is obtaining specific goals, and they recognize that in order to do so, they are going to have to anticipate (rather than avoid) problems and take risks. Thus, rather than seek to maintain the status quo, effective managers seek for attainment. With this attitude, effective managers are willing to take on challenges and head in a direction more meaningful: uphill.

Desire to do what is best for themselves.

When a manager is focused on doing what is best for him/herself, he/she:

· Will see and treat others as inferiors.

· Seek the spotlight and limit others’ time in the spotlight.

· Will be quick to fire and slow to develop.

· Manage primarily through organizational power (authority, rewards, threats of punishments).

For many people, not just managers, our natural inclination is to look out for #1. When managers carry this into their management, they have a tendency to prioritize their needs over the needs of those they manage. When this happens, managers often subconsciously seek after the spotlight, step over others, and demonstrate an unwillingness to support and develop those they manage.

Ultimately, people come to follow these managers because they feel compelled to.

Effective managers, on the other hand, see their position of management as a responsibility to look after the needs of those they manage. As such they see others as valuable partners and they seek to serve them in ways that they can excel, even if it means making their own life more challenging. When a manager takes this perspective toward management, they often try to ensure that the spotlight shines on others and often reflects any light that gets shown on them.

Ultimately, people come to follow these managers because they want to.

What are your desires?

The four desires discussed here, on the surface, seem natural. Yet, they are at the foundation of dysfunctional management. It is my guess that you can see many, if not all, of these in the dysfunctional managers that you have worked with. Yet, what is sad is that these managers were all of the mindset that they were doing their best. They didn’t realize that their largely subconscious desires were causing them to be dysfunctional in their decision making and actions.

If you want to be a truly effective manager, you need to intentionally break through these seemingly natural desires and instead:

· Desire to have a positive impact on those you serve (followers and customers).

· Desire truth and thinking optimally.

· Desire to fulfill a specific and meaningful purposes and goals.

· Desire to do what is best for others.

If you want to learn what your subconscious desires are, take this free personal managerial mindset assessment.