Effective Management Through True Connection
The often-overlooked goal of connection and why it’s important to your management success
If you’re a manager, you’re in the human services business. The people business. You don’t manage an office, a branch, a project, or a restaurant. You manage people. That’s your job. That’s our job.
Two Functions of a Manager
The manager’s role can be summed up in two overarching functions: connection and direction. Because we’re leaders of people, we want to help team members to be satisfied in their work. That satisfaction results in employees who stay and employees who perform. The essentials of connection and direction are like two wings of a plane. We can’t do our job effectively if we aren’t doing both.
Too often, managers lean heavily on the side of direction and fail to connect. This is easy to do. We have goals and deadlines to meet, and the only way we’re going to meet them is through optimal performance from our teams. Direction is essential.
However, without connection, our efforts to direct will never be as effective as they could be. Because people are our business, our ability to connect with them in meaningful ways is foundational to any other responsibilities or goals we have. Connection is foundational. If we don’t get it right, our desire to succeed and find satisfaction in our work will be frustrated.
Don't Be That Manager
In my nearly three decades of work-life, I’ve reported to several managers and been one myself. The variety of managers I’ve had has been all over the map, ranging from terrible to great. Those extremes are the ones I remember the most.
The Feared Manager
I’ve had managers I’ve feared. Those whose expectations were either too high or too vague. Either way, their response to employees was often harsh. Sometimes they were unfair and overly critical. Even if their assessments were accurate, their harshness did nothing but motivate fear and dissatisfaction with the job.
The Distant Manager
I’ve also had managers who seemed to exist in a faraway country. They were close, but they weren’t present. I would see them regularly in their office or on the work floor, but they had little interest in any meaningful communication with staff. The only conversation I would have with some of them was my annual review. Even then, it wasn’t a conversation. It was a generic delivery of information and expectations.
The Suspicious Manager
Another manager I’ve worked under was the one I just couldn’t trust. Sometimes this was in the form of the unethical boss who cuts corners, but more often it was just the manager who was superficial. They were friendly, but not relational. They seemed to only have their best interests in mind, and you could almost always count on them taking credit for any positive results they got from their staff. When things went bad, it was all on the staff. When things went well, he/she was quick to pat themselves on the back. This manager couldn’t be trusted.
These managers have something in common. They all failed to connect with their staff. They all had different motivations and varying levels of success. But they didn’t have my trust and respect because, ultimately, I didn’t have theirs.
True Employee Connection
Connection begins with the realization that our relationship with our employees is a human relationship. We can’t be overly focused on our position, the organizational structure, or anything else that prevents us from viewing our staff as human. I’ve too often seen managers and employees fail to remember this. Interactions become robotic and inauthentic, motivated by fear, politics, or “professionalism”. Though there may be a place for these in the workplace, when it all boils down, the relationship between manager and employee is a human one. Two people, both working for the same company with the same goals. Both with personal lives that include joys and struggles. Both with abilities and weaknesses. Both human.
Of course, roles exist, and it’s necessary to maintain healthy professionalism. I don’t mean that we are pursuing deep personal relationships with our employees. I don’t mean that we cast aside any authority we’ve been granted for the sake of equality. I do, however, believe that there is a relationship to be had and one that we should pursue.
That’s the goal of connection. To know our employees a little better. To create mutual trust. For them to see us as trusted leaders rather than someone to be feared or suspicious of. For us to see them as equals in many ways. The result is a staff who feels respected and a manager who is better equipped to lead.
