Leadership Development
The Most Important Meeting of Your Week
We all hate meetings, but your weekly one-on-ones are crucial
How many people do you lead? It can feel like a status question, right? We’re tempted to think leading more people is better. This isn’t necessarily true.
Here’s a good rule of thumb: you shouldn’t have more direct reports than you have time to meet with every week. Before I tell you why a regular check-in is so important (and by calling it a check-in, I’ve already given away some of its purpose), we need to understand something else about being a great leader.
Leaders should care about the well-being of each employee as much as they care about the organization.
Caring for your employees creates thriving organizations. The best way to lead a healthy organization is to lead teams of healthy employees. And the best way to lead healthy teams is to care about each member of the team.
Your first responsibility as a leader is to care for the people you lead.
If you lead too many people, you simply can’t care for them all.
A weekly one-on-one with your direct reports can help accomplish this.
“What’s on your mind?”
This is my favorite question to use in my 1:1s. It comes from The Coaching Habit. As the title suggests, it helps you see your role as a coach instead of a boss. Your entire mindset shifts when you do this. Rather than focusing on processes and deadlines, you get to focus on developing the character and competencies of the people you lead.
Starting your 1:1 with a question like this benefits you and it benefits the employee.
It sets the expectation that this meeting is for the benefit of the employee.
From the get-go, it’s clear that this is a time for you to support your employee. It isn’t time to give them the feedback you’ve been storing up all week (there is a place for feedback, but this isn’t it). When you ask, “What’s on your mind?” you give your employees a chance to talk about the things that are important to them. You find out how you can better support them.
Feedback should be given in passing conversations as you notice things that need to be corrected. The best way to make your employees dread this weekly 1:1 is to fill it with feedback. When the people you lead get to set the agenda, they actually look forward to these meetings.
It shows that you care about them personally, not just about their results.
Close your eyes and picture a stereotypical boss. What types of interactions do you see from that person? I see someone who is out of touch with the employees and cares more about processes being done correctly than the well-being of the individual.
Now, close your eyes again, but this time picture a coach. Aside from the occasional yelling from the sideline, what do you see in a coach? The word that comes to my mind is “development.”
If a boss is task-oriented, a coach is team and person-oriented. A boss only cares about the end product. A good coach cares about the development of people en route to the end result. Spoiler alert: when you care about the people on your team, the end product gets even better.
You can lead like a coach regardless of your title. It’s all about your mindset. “Boss” and “Coach” are more about approaches to leadership than words on your business card. You can have a coach’s mindset whether you lead a team of volunteers or 20 highly trained professionals. And however many people you lead, that’s how many weekly 1:1s you should be having.
Looking at your weekly 1:1 with your direct reports through the lens of a coach can transform these meetings. They shift from a weekly progress report and course-correction to a time of coaching and developing this person as a human being. You start to lead with empathy instead of criticism.
By asking, “what’s on your mind?” or any similar question that opens the door for your direct report to lead the conversation, you position yourself as a mentor, someone to help guide her through the intricacies of her role. You set yourself up as a support system, available for what he needs, rather than an inspector combing through his job performance looking for things to critique and correct.
The weekly 1:1 is the most important meeting of your week. Each person will be happier. Teams will be healthier. The organization will be more successful.
What about you? Do you have a favorite question to use in your 1:1s (or casual interactions) that help you lead your team better?
