Six actions for developing your self-awareness
You cannot become emotionally intelligent if you are not self-aware because self-awareness is the foundation of being emotionally intelligent. So, while we do know what self-awareness is, taking actions to become more self-aware is a different story.
After doing some research I came across some ideas that we can use to develop our self-awareness and I want to share some of them with you. Here are six of them.
Stop labeling your emotions
Stop labeling your emotions as good or bad. When you do that, you tend to embrace the ‘good’ emotions and reject the ‘bad’ emotions. Suspend your judgment whenever you experience an emotion. Sit with the emotion to recognize it and understand it so you can have a better understanding of where it came from and why you are experiencing it.
Don’t ignore uncomfortable feelings
Some feelings make us uncomfortable so we avoid them. You can’t develop your self-awareness if you avoid feelings that make you uncomfortable. When you face such feelings you have to intentionally lean into them and think about them with the aim of understanding them. After a while, you find they are not so difficult and you are more able to experience and handle them.
Keep a journal of your emotions
Keep a journal of your emotions. Write them down to gain some objectivity. Note down situations and engagements with people and how they made you feel. Describe the emotions you feel each day. Doing this consistently over a period of time will help you develop a better understanding of your emotional reactions in different situations and towards various people.
Be aware of your physical reactions to emotions
Take note of how you physically react to your emotions. When we experience emotions they trigger physical sensations in our bodies. Spotting these physical sensations is an effective way of understanding our emotions and how we feel. For example, if we are afraid, we may feel a knot in our stomach or anger may increase our heartbeat rate. The key here is to intentionally try to identify the physical sensations that accompany emotions you experience.
Know your people triggers
Notice people that trigger certain emotions in you. How do they behave to make you feel that way? Knowing who makes you feel a certain way and what they do to make you feel that way gives you information to be more aware and take better control of your emotions in such situations. This is part of what you should write in your journal.
Seek feedback
Ask for feedback. Your perspective is often influenced by your experiences and beliefs which can prevent you from being objective about your feelings. Asking others for feedback can give you information about yourself that you previously didn’t know. It takes courage to ask for feedback but getting the views of others will increase your level of self-awareness.
Here’s a self-reflective exercise you can do using some of these actions to improve your self-awareness:
- Think about a situation you experienced that generated strong emotions. It may be a situation or engagement with a person.
- Write the experience down in three sentences or less.
- Think about how the situation or person made you feel. Was the feeling comfortable or uncomfortable? Write it down.
- Why did you feel comfortable or uncomfortable? Write it down.
- At the time how did you label the feeling, ‘good’ or ‘bad’? Write it down.
- What physical sensations did you experience due to the feelings? Write them down.
- Now read everything that you’ve written down. What awareness has this given you of your emotions in the situation?
The goal of the activity is for you to learn to recognize and understand your emotional reactions in such situations (and others). The more you can do this, the more you can improve and develop your self-awareness and this will strengthen your emotional intelligence.
