The Leader’s Guide to Unconscious Bias: Deploy Curiosity and Empathy
The Skills of Curiosity and Empathy
As we meet people and enter new situations, our brains are sorting, mostly based on gut reactions. This sort is largely superficial and drawn from initial instincts, but the ramifications of that initial categorization can be vast.
Employing the skills of empathy and curiosity can help us check our assumptions and explore our thinking. It can also uncover biases we might have, as each connection point becomes fertile ground for increasing likability.
Empathy is an interpersonal approach, putting yourself in other people’s shoes. Curiosity is an intellectual approach to cultivating connection; it involves asking insightful questions, truly listening for responses, and building a conversation from those responses and commonality.
Put Yourself in Others’ Shoes
It’s very easy to criticize other people without knowing the full picture. For example, a leader at FranklinCovey, “Sonya,” had an employee suddenly showing up late to work after years of punctuality. Sonya was about to reprimand the employee, when she decided to dig deeper and find out what was going on. During a 1-on-1, Sonya learned that the employee’s spouse had recently been diagnosed with diabetes and was struggling with insulin shots each morning, and he had to choose between getting to work on time and helping his wife. Sonya and her team member discussed ways they could add flexibility to his work schedule. By taking a little extra time to hear the whole story, Sonya was better able to address the performance problem and enhance her employee’s well-being.
A former colleague of mine shared an example of how his leader demonstrated a remarkable lack of perspective and an inability to see the world from another’s point of view. “When I was in my late fifties, I was invited to join a new department at work — I felt like it was a real compliment that I had the skills and talents this team wanted. My new boss was great, but early on he started asking me, ‘So how much longer are you going to work?’ This went on for some time, and he would often ask the question in front of others. Finally, in a private conversation after he posed the question once more, I replied, ‘Do you want me to leave? You keep asking me that question.’ That stopped the inquiries for a while, at least until our sales suddenly dropped and business slowed significantly. He asked me again how long I intended to keep working. I assumed it had to be because he was tasked with considering salaries and a possible reduction in head count. Maybe it was and maybe it wasn’t because of head count, but it made me feel uncomfortable and nervous. I began to worry and question my own abilities. Does he think I’m not capable? Am I easy pickings to let go because I don’t have decades still to work in the company? Can he hire someone younger and pay them less? Does that hurt my credibility? Does he consider me ‘old school,’ with one foot out the door? And how can he not understand how it feels being on the receiving end of that question — what if it was his boss doing the asking?”
Get to Know Other People’s Stories
Is there someone you’re currently struggling with personally or professionally? And do you know the whole story? Consider ways you can connect with that person and learn more about their perspective on the situation. You might be surprised by what you learn.
Keep Exploring
Moving out of our comfort zone allows us to grow and learn, and there are many ways to do this — from the type of media we consume to the sorts of conversations we have. The underlying question to ask yourself as you explore is “Does this challenge my paradigm?” AllSides.com works to “expose people to information and ideas from all sides of the political spectrum so they can better understand the world — and each other.” A quick visit to their site will provide you with the day’s head- lines from a liberal, centrist, and conservative perspective — same headline, different lens and therefore words.
I consume a lot of media. The depth and breadth of stories on television and in movies, books, and podcasts are constantly pushing how I think about the world and people’s experience. Get curious about learning more from the many resources available. This could include going beyond the curated list Netflix and Hulu give you, committing to read books by authors from different countries or backgrounds than your own, and searching for podcasts that give you a glimpse of what life is like for other communities. Other possible corners of your life to explore range from engaging in dialogue with your neighbor to joining a local civic or fraternal organization. Consider where you might have new conversations that push exploration.
From THE LEADER’S GUIDE TO UNCONSCIOUS BIAS: How to Reframe Bias, Cultivate Connection, and Create High-Performing Teams by Pamela Fuller, Mark Murphy, and Anne Chow. Copyright © 2020 by Franklin Covey Co. Reprinted by permission of Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.
