Lessons from Relationship Development Intervention — 1
Managing Moments 30-Day Challenge — 1
We started our January challenge with the five Ps of planning (Possibilities, Priorities/Point of learning, Path, Practice and Progress). In week 2, we introduced the seven tips for parents. In week 3, we will introduce a few key lessons from Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) and show how these lessons help in implementing the seven tips.
Three Key RDI Tools
Three key RDI tools that we learned over 20 years ago and continue to use today are:
- The four patterns of interactions,
- The Regulation, Challenge, Reorganization (RCR) cycle, and
- Just Noticeable Differences (JNDs)
We use these tools for organizing experiences and fostering experience-sharing communication.
Seven Tips and RDI
We will consider one of the seven tips daily. We will also consider one RDI tool/lesson daily. While we are considering one RDI lesson and one tip, the lessons work with every tip.
The Three RDI Tools
I. Practice the Four Patterns of Interactions
The four patterns of interactions are based on RDI (Relationship Development Intervention). Read the article Building the Foundation and Pillars for Success in Academics by Kamini Lakhani here. According to Kamini Lakhani, parents can work on their child’s emotional regulation by working on these 4 patterns of interactions.
a. Assembly line (sender receiver pattern)
b. Reciprocal (parent and child take turns to repeat the same role)
c. Simultaneous (parent and child have the same role and they perform it together, at the same time)
d. Contingent (parent and child have different roles. Their roles are dependent on the other (contingency).
The patterns seem simple and obvious. However, being mindful of these patterns helps organize interactions in a consistent way with your child.
In the video below, a simultaneous pattern of interaction is being used. This pattern is a common pattern for teaching through imitation. Rather than instructing and prompting the child to do activities, parents can use this pattern and do activities with their child.
II. Use the Four Patterns of Interactions to Implement Regulation, Challenge, Reorganization
The four patterns of activities discussed above are based on RCR (Regulation, Challenge, Reorganization). RCR is one of the most valuable parenting concepts that I learned from Relationship Development Intervention (RDI). The parent sets up a pattern of interaction with competent roles for parent and child. The key is to set up a predictable pattern the child can recognize so that the child is regulated in the activity. Once the child is familiar with the pattern, introduce variations or challenges. Add the variations gradually to enable the child to accept the variations and reorganize the initial pattern of interaction. Practice the basic pattern for many days before introducing variations. Use the four simple patterns of interactions to implement RCR in daily life activities.
- Watch a video of the sender/ receiver pattern of interactions
III. Just Noticeable Differences
2. Listen to the explanation of Just Noticeable Differences (JND) on Dr. Sheely’s podcast:
Key Point from Podcast
According to Dr. Sheely, “competence is built off of a series of these just noticeable differences that are then punctuated with the challenge, and the challenge is something that is not just noticeable difference, but something that challenges you to use your mind, because you don’t know what to do.
My thoughts
JNDs prepare you for dealing with challenges. RCR with JNDs is a technique for systematic training for engaging variability and builds capacity for handling larger changes over time. Since autistic children often resist change (see Dr. Gutstein’s podcast on Variability), RCR and JND are tools for parents to integrate predictability and variability in experiences. JND is a way to introduce novelty with low stress.
After diagnosis, parents are focused on challenges such as speech delays, sensori-motor issues etc. RDI changed our trajectory. We started focusing on variability and dynamic thinking as the foundation. Integrating predictability and variation in experiences sets the stage for practicing communication.
RCR Examples
- After shopping, put things from bags into cupboards and/or the refrigerator. The child picks up and hands the item and the parent puts it away.
- Child picks up and gives an item of clothing to the parent. Parent hangs it up.
- Parent and child walk together. Initially, follow the same route at the same time of day. Slowly, introduce variations. The parent stops suddenly. The parent starts walking forward or backward. The child notices these variations and responds to them. For example, when the parent stops, the child stops.
- The Parent and child roll a ball together. Each person has their own ball.
- The parent and child paint on a large sheet of paper. Each person chooses one color and paints somewhere on the paper.
- Practice the patterns of interactions with games like crocodile dentist and Twister.
When the child is doing well in the interaction, the parent makes little variations to the pattern to make it slightly more unpredictable, but not overwhelming.
When I first learned about RCR, I found it useful but did not realize that we had discovered an important tool for life. As I have learned more about managing stress and creating the conditions for learning with ease, I have started seeing RCR as one of the most important tools in parenting neurodivergent children.
Practice the four patterns of interactions in a mindful way and join the conversation in our LIFESMART Parenting group here:
