MANCHESTER DIVIDED: SPIN TIME

The campaign trail during New Hampshire primary season is one of the great equalizers in political journalism.

The fact that one does or does not possess shimmering proper credentials issued by relevant authorities is of little concern. At least for those of us who could care less about such industry dogma, and who are willing to sidestep the process when the process sidesteps us (and nobody gets stepped over every four years quite like scrappy independent media).

Across the way from the room housing the maelstrom of hacks in the filing bullpen, me and my team spied the official spin room for the MSNBC Democratic Debate last night. Located in Huddleston Hall on the sprawling rural Durham campus of the University of New Hampshire, the scene was as chaotic and saturated as one would expect. Among us, an ocean of news vans and production teams swarmed, with ample local and federal law enforcement on hand to keep throngs of Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders youth supporters in check.

And that’s where we decided — with no support, official contacts, or actual reason to be there — that moves were to be made. With our self-printed independent media laminates swinging from our necks like Donald Trump Collection silk ties made in China, we orchestrated a plan that would rival anything concocted by the Ocean’s Eleven crew. Namely: We simply walked in, sauntered around the cavernous spin room, and let everyone assume that we were supposed to be there. We then sidled up alongside the broadcast media beast in our midst (read: Fox News, CNN, Univision, etc). Never underestimate the power of confidence in purpose, especially when those exuding it are without other options.

After a few awkward moments of moseying around and bumping elbows with camera crews, boom mics, and flood lights on the periphery (where Chris Matthews was hovering over the cookie table), we eventually moved in. A riser that may or may not have been reserved for ABC News was empty, and nobody was setting anything up. Without anyone giving us the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air DJ Jazzy Jeff heave-ho by the scruff of our necks, we then proceeded to set up. The US Secret Service made some passes through the spin room, but we’d begun our eminent domain maneuver on this ABC plot. In the end, no candidate surrogates called for the cold hand of justice to snuff us out, no posse of six (or seven if you count their German Shepherd) agents suddenly burst through the door to eject us.

At around 10:30 pm, a small crew of well-geared production guys who were looking around the room like they expected to have their own perch eyeballed us dubiously, then retreated into the thicket of light stands, tripods, cameras, and the shrill din of the debate audio blaring from a flatscreen. When an MSNBC staffer with his finger on his ear stared in our direction, we thought our jig was up. Somehow, though, a few minutes later — following some silver-tongued lip service by our documentary crew leader — we were not only in the clear, but suddenly in possession of the golden Wonka ticket — official spin room badges. And that’s just how the game of media CandyLand works during presidential election season: An outlaw one minute, a hero the next. America.

By the time Andrea Mitchell, Chris Matthews, and the hop-along gang were getting prepped and primed on the MSNBC spin stage, we were mixing it up with the CNN talent next to us. Like Ivy League institutions and the parking garage at CIA headquarters, once you’re allowed inside, people assumed we were supposed to be there. As did the string of surrogates stampeding through the room to riff on the talking points their racehorses kicked up in the debate. We rubbed elbows with them all, from Boston Mayor Marty Walsh and Boston City Councilor Ayanna Pressley, to Bernie Sanders campaign manager and spokesperson Jeff Weaver, DNC Communications Director Luis Miranda, DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz, and others.

All in all, the evening was a success, both for our crew and for the spirit of independent media. Feel free to employ our tactics along the campaign trail from now through November with this handy step-by-step tutorial below. And if you get nervous, just remember that you’re not in trouble until you’re in handcuffs. Good luck out there.

STEP 1: Arrive on the scene ready to capture it all just in case you’re eventually shown the door.

STEP 2: Find the best place to make your move.

STEP 3: Find a major broadcast network riser and just say “this is ours now” and take it over accordingly, with an air of bemused confidence.

STEP 4: Talk well, talk smooth, get an official badge to stick on top of your indie badge you printed out and laminated at home.

STEP 5: Just get in there. Everyone will assume you’re on the level at this point.