Advice to my
16-year-old Self
From time to time, I’ll use a writing prompt from “The Daily Post” to write and share a post with you. Please give your love, support, feedback, and criticism. Although I’m not responding directly to this prompt, I drew my inspiration from it:
Sixteen is supposed to be a magical age, and to many degrees, it certainly was. I can type away, filling the empty space with words that tell my story. The story of the 16-year-old me. I can take you on that journey, but I won’t.
I’d rather share what I would’ve done differently.
If I could give advice to my 16-year-old self, what would it be?
1. Be yourself, even if you don’t know exactly who that is yet.
It’s okay if you don’t know exactly who you are yet. What’s important is that you continue to do what you’re comfortable with. Whether that means you’re fun one day, shy the next, and spontaneous on the third. Just be you. It’s okay to be different and it’s okay to change (see #7) because that’s how you’ll find your true self. Never try to change just so you can fit in.
In addition to the Dr. Suess quote (left), always remember, “don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.” — Mastin Kipp
2. Be kind and practice empathy but put yourself first.
Although 16 is a magical age, it’s also a difficult one. You’ll encounter several changes and you’ll make some tough decisions. Just remember, everyone else is struggling too, even if it doesn’t seem obvious. So, be kind to everyone and practice empathy. “Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another.” — Alfred Adler
People will always remember you for that. But, in doing so, don’t be a push over and don’t let people take advantage of your kindness. You deserve kindness and empathy in return. So, stand up for yourself and keep your head high. Put yourself first and focus on building your future and achieving your dreams (see #6, #8).
3. You can learn absolutely anything.
You’re still young and you have time. You can learn absolutely anything, as long as you put your mind to it. So go ahead, pick up a new language, learn how to play an instrument, develop an academic or personal skill, try a new subject, improve yourself, and take on anything you desire. There is nothing that you cannot learn. Just keep trying and remember, “you don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” — Zig Zagler
“Don’t let self-doubt deter you from progression. Always focus on learning.” — Unknown
4. Try everything! (well, almost…)
This is the age of trial and error. It’s the age to discover things and figure them out. Try new foods and activities, take at least one class in every subject, and talk to someone you’ve never talked to before. You may be in for a pleasant surprise. You might develop a new hobby, take interest in a new subject, or make a new best friend. You can never know for sure until you try. Doing so enables you to learn what you enjoy and what you’re capable of (which is just about anything). “In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.” — Unknown
“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” — Mae West
5. Open up possibilities, don’t close doors.
It’s great to know which direction you’re headed, but it’s never a good idea to close the doors you may not need. It’s important to try everything (see #4) because it opens up so many doors and creates opportunity for change.
You might think you’ll never use what you learn in math class and perhaps, you refuse to take that class (because you don’t need it). Maybe you’re right. You may never use what you learned. However, you can use those credentials to accomplish other things. People change, our minds change, and sometimes our direction needs to change as well (see #7). Switching programs in university, or changing careers, isn’t easy. Having those credentials helps you open doors that you never imagined entering. If you don’t take math, or other subjects, you limit your choices in the long run (or make them harder to accomplish). So, don’t worry about “being bad” at something. You can always improve (see #3). It’s important to understand that the Dr. Seuss quote (above) applies to more than just reading. It’s about doing things and learning things because the more you do and the more you learn, the more options you’ll have, the more doors you’ll open, and the more places you’ll go.
6. Most friendships and relationships formed now won’t last, and that’s okay.
When we’re 16, we never want to believe that our friendships and relationships won’t last. It’s true that a small selection of high school friends may become lifelong friends, but another truth is, most of them don’t. They’ll probably become Facebook “friends,” occasionally liking your photos or commenting on your posts.
What this means? You should continue to form strong, genuine friendships and relationships (it’s a valuable skill) but you should also remember to put yourself first (see #2). Make friends that help you grow, motivate you, and bring out the best in you. Don’t let anyone pull you down. “When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” — Paulo Coelho
7. Things will change, they always do. Learn to embrace it.
Whether you’re the “cool” one, the “nerdy” one, the “shy” one, another one of the stereotypes, or none of them, it doesn’t matter because things will change. High school doesn’t last forever. In fact, the only thing that lasts forever, “the only thing that is constant, is change.” — Heraclitus
But, change is good. We change because we continue to learn and grow. So, embrace the changes and strive to become a better person. Commit to changing your thoughts, decisions, and actions into positive ones and don’t be afraid to change your direction when it’s necessary. Always be the best version of yourself, because “the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.”
— Unknown.
8. Start thinking about the future, set goals, and know, anything is possible.
You don’t need to have an exact answer yet (it’s awesome if you do), but you should start thinking about it. What do you enjoy? What is it that wouldn’t feel like work? What do you want to accomplish? Where do you want to be?
You don’t have to follow an exact path (or any path at all) and you can change your mind as often as you want. But, it’s always good to have a starting point. Doing some of the things on this list, particularly #1 and #4, will help you decide where that starting point is. Following #5 and #7 will make it easier to change your mind along the way, if you wish. So, start thinking, set some goals, and remember that anything is possible. “You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands — your own.” — Mark Victor Hansen
Some final food for thought:
