H Marks the Spot
by Charles Bernstein
For Warren Sonbert
“H Marks the Spot” was originally published in Issue 07 of Manor House Quarterly: MYTH.
Scenario for Henry Hills’s film centering on the letter H: “7 people write lists of up to 50 ‘shots’ (scenes?) – all relating to or beginning with the letter “H” – which comprise some (very) loose narrative.
1. Hermes arrives from remote location, looking haggard, carrying a hymnal and a hatchet.
2. Helen of Troy gets into a fight with hermaphrodite with halo.
3. Heraklitus goes skinny dipping in Housatonic rapids.
4. A high school honor guard, separated from troupe, wanders into a harem.
5. Haunted hippies recreate scene from Beatles’ Help!
6. H.D. in hallway with huge hook.
7. The heart is like the heart, the head is like the head, the hole is like the …8. Homosexual hosiery hoisted
9. Herodotus reads headlines.
10. Hip hopelessness.
11. A local hero marches down a hall filled with Hindu statues.
12. Hanoi is bombed.
13. Billie Holiday hums hexameters.
14. An ad for Preparation H.
15. Hunger is stronger than happiness.
16. Holy is the hoot of the hyena.
17. “Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil! Right in der fuehrer’s face!”
18. Hamlet having a ham sandwich at the Horn & Hardart automat.
19. Hitler in high heels.
20. How to hit a homer.
21. Hitchcock’s hair.
22. Heading home.
23. Hush descends on hitherto hidden hills.
24. Host’s hocked helmet.
25. Hello.
26. Holograph of hat.
27. Hooray for Hollywood.
28. Helsinki hack bound for Honolulu.
29. “Heaven, I’m in heaven …”
30. Hölderlin hollering in tower.
31. Hell is the eternal loss of one you love.
32. “Hold it, I think you’re gonna like this picture” (Bob Cummings).
33. Heinrich Heine posing with Lorelei.
34. Homer in a coffee shop having a hamburger.
35. Hercules, hotel doorman.
36. History unfolds in a crawl on Times Square news ticker.
37. There’s no horse like my horse. My horse is the best horse there is.
38. Handle on the door of my house.
39. Hiccups erupt.
40. Humans breaks into prolonged hysterics
41. Hysteric is put in harness.
42. Hallucination: none of this is real, even the hallucination is a hallucination.
43. Harpo plays harp.
44. Harmonizing heterogeneity.
45. A hundred heroin highs, a hundred herons fly.
46. Houdini escapes.
47. Hypnotist puts me under a spell from which I never awake.
48. Some hurts don’t heal.
49. Hospital corners on hospital bed.
50. Heave ho, heave ho.
