Why Do Men Care About ‘Body Counts’ So Much?
I hate this term. I’d rather talk about being more sexually experienced or having had many lovers.
Many men have very strong feelings about dating women who have had sex with more than a handful of guys. They can have preferences, for sure, but what do those preferences say about them? Is this a good preference to have?
I am not here to call such men horrible, fragile or toxic, or talk about how this affects women. If that’s what you’re after, go read other authors.
I am here to say that the reason behind this ‘preference’ is a worry that’s just as valid as any other emotion. Many guys keep it hidden and suffer in silence. But as with any emotions, we need to take charge of it and be in control. I feel way stronger since I learned to do it myself.
This worry hides behind a veneer of ‘rationality,’ so I will start by stripping it away with logical arguments. By the end, you will see the truth underneath and know what to do.
Before I dive in, full disclosure. I have slept with a lot of people myself, I am part of a sex-positive community in the most sex-positive city in Europe, and I have been in long-term non-monogamous relationships for over a decade.
