How to Find a Mastermind Group (The Complete Guide)

“Joining a mastermind group was the single best decision I’ve ever made.”

I know of dozens of men (if not hundreds) who’d confirm that statement. I’ve seen men survive crises with the support of their mastermind group. I’ve also seen men be challenged by their mastermind group and accomplish great things.

With all the benefits and successful members, you’d think everyone would want in. Yet, there are still many people oblivious to what a mastermind group is and how it works. There are a couple of reasons for that: a) a lot of mastermind groups aren’t effective, b) mastermind groups are often confused with therapy groups, and c) the vast majority of people aren’t focused on high-performance, self-awareness, and impact.

Often when people first hear the word mastermind they start asking questions like “What the hell is a mastermind? It sounds like an evil crime syndicate.”

In fact it is, we’re planning to steal the world’s largest diamond. Tell no one.

Kidding of course, in reality a mastermind group is a bunch of individuals coming together to push and support each other to live their true purpose. If you join the right mastermind, it may end up being the decision that most shapes your life in the following years.

In this article, I’m going to help clear up some of the confusion about what a mastermind group is and isn’t. I’ll outline how to find an incredible mastermind group, or if one doesn’t exist nearby, how to form your own.

In other words, it’s everything you need to know (a complete guide of sorts) about finding a great mastermind group.

What a Mastermind Group IS

First, let’s lay out all the attributes that an amazing mastermind must have.

A Place to be Held Accountable

More and more men are becoming slippery with their ability to commit. In a generation of last minute texts and ‘maybe attending’ RSVP’s, an incredible number of modern men are no longer as strong as their word.

Too often, men say they will do something and then cancel last minute. Or, they make up an excuse, or worst, they simply don’t show up without explanation. The main cause of this ever-fading commitment is a lack of accountability.

As men, we aren’t holding each other to our word. Friends and family learn to accept flakiness. It’s an unacceptable result of Nice Guy Syndrome that we have to take a stand against — now and always.

Statistics and my own experience have shown me that the fastest way to bring a man into accountability is to surround him with a group of likeminded individuals who’ve internalized a culture of accountability and challenge.

Accountability is a core tenant of any great mastermind group.

(Pro tip: If you can’t make an event or don’t want to go. Simply say “No I can’t make it, thanks for the invite,” and move on.)

A Place to be Challenged AND Supported

This is the magical dynamic that masterminds need. Here’s a cold reality of modern culture: most men are surrounded by ambivalent people who could care less what they do or don’t do.

The people our lives who actually do care are often “yes-men.” They ‘support’ and high five us regardless of what we do. Frequently, modern men lack close connections who will challenge us to become our highest self.

It’s a paradox, because, as men, we grow through challenge and adversity, but often when we go through challenges we also lack true support. Cheerleaders disappear when we hit real adversity.

We lack the support we need to face our real problems and take the treacherous road through our struggles. A great mastermind threads both needles of support and challenge simultaneously.

A Place to Set, Take Action Towards, and Achieve Goals

Accountability, support, and challenge are the mastermind ethos for a reason. You’re in the mastermind group to actually go somewhere. It’s not just a place to hit the catharsis button.

Setting goals that align with your purpose is an integral stepping stone in growing your impact. A well organized mastermind should have systems in place to help men routinely set, move towards and reach goals.

A Place to Develop Purpose, Fulfillment, and Legacy

Too often, purpose, fulfillment, and legacy are buzzwords we relegate to ‘someday.’

As in: “Someday I’ll start living with purpose. Someday I’ll create a legacy. Someday I will feel fulfilled.” A consciously crafted mastermind will take these nebulous terms and bring them into your everyday life.

When purpose is a guiding light rather than a buzzword, the bedrock of your personal foundation begins to shift. You begin to see life in an entirely new way and the importance of the rat race, the new iPhone, a meaningless bonus, or a corner office begins to fade.

You begin to see fulfillment in the truly powerful actions like connecting with the people you love, taking control of your health, having a positive impact on the lives of others, and being the driving force in your own life.

A Place to Speak Openly Without Fear of Judgement

Ever tell someone you were thinking about going on a diet, drinking less, or joining a new exercise group only to have them tell you, “that’s a waste of time, your just gonna quit. You never stick with that stuff. Don’t be such a try-hard.”

This is a sure sign you’re hanging out with the wrong people.

Every time you build up the courage to move out of your comfort zone, your social circle hammers you back into place, quashing your dreams of a better life.

A great mastermind will do the exact opposite. It will help pull out those dreams and aspirations that you’ve buried deep within. The key to letting this happen is to create an environment that encourages thinking and speaking without fear of punishment or criticism.

A great mastermind group will have this dynamic.

A Place to GIVE All These Above to Others

Once you get into a great mastermind group and receive these gifts from your fellow members, you quickly realize that you can give the same back to the other members. It’s enlightening and freeing.

Everyday I meet inherently kind people who love to give, yet their path in life has somehow forced them inwards and taught them to believe they need to hide themselves.

A well thought-out mastermind addresses this problem by challenging men to speak the plain truth and give openly. Spending time, effort, and sometimes even money helping others is one of the activities that men tell me had the biggest impact on their mindset.

A Group of People Who Develop Close Relationships Based On Honesty

When you join a great mastermind group, there is no room afforded to shallow relationships and surface level connections. You can get that from any number of ‘networking’ groups. If you want to pass out cards and ‘mingle’ a mastermind group isn’t for you.

Mastermind members aren’t there to add a couple Facebook friends, or get some advice on stocks. A key foundation of a men’s mastermind group is to foster deep relationships between men that help connect you in the ways we frequently ignore.

Connecting at a deeper level can be awkward, frustrating, or difficult at first and that’s why most individuals rarely reach this depth on their own. A great men’s mastermind will guide you through the discomfort to those important levels. In reality, deeper connections are the natural result of openness, honesty, support, and challenge in a trusting environment. When we’ve seen the worst of each other and still accept each other, connection is natural.

Leading From the Front, Back, and Sides (Peer-to-Peer Mentoring)

One of the key benefits to a great mastermind group is being surrounded by a diverse group of men. Each man brings his own strengths and weaknesses along with a variety of experiences and outlooks.

Oftentimes, the other members are people you wouldn’t normally meet. This gives you the opportunity to hear opinions from a completely unique perspective and get exposed to ideas that you may never have heard otherwise.

It also allows you the rare benefit of sometimes being leading and other take a backseat role to others. Both are important skills many men lack.

Most importantly, though, a great mastermind group isn’t a place where a single, god-like individual at the top of the group is followed mindlessly. The true mastermind model is the anti-guru model.

A Replicable System for Personal and Professional Growth

A well-organized mastermind produces consistent results. Whether it’s your first time being part of a mastermind group or your tenth, it will continue to create growth within each of its members. Why? Because the system is built to spur you towards your own growth.

It’s no coincidence that so many of our mastermind members stick around for many years and continue to see results.

What a Mastermind Group ISN’T

Now that we’ve examined at length some of the major characteristics of a great mastermind group, let’s take a quick peek at some of the things a mastermind group isn’t.

You may find these attributes in groups calling themselves masterminds. This is simply confusion. Or, more likely, you’ll find these attributes in non-mastermind groups. Deciding which, if any, type of group to join depends upon your current needs.

At ManTalks, our mission is to be THE environment for self-aware, high-performing, and impactful men. This is why we’ve spent so much time designing, honing, and developing our mastermind programs. Of all our activities (podcast, blog, live events, etc.) there is nowhere we see more growth than in our mastermind groups.

But not every man is currently needs what our mastermind groups offer. So, let’s take a look at what a mastermind isn’t, so you will be able to make the right choice for you.

Group Therapy

Group therapy is a powerful tool and serves an important role for thousands or even millions of men. That said, a mastermind is not group therapy. The key difference being that group therapy is built for healing trauma.

To be successful, group therapy must be led by an excellent mental health professional.

This is not the mandate of a mastermind. A mastermind spurs growth through challenge and support. Performance and success are integral to a mastermind.

Some members participate in therapy (individual or group) while also in a mastermind group. But the mastermind itself isn’t designed to replace therapy

A Place to Commiserate About How Bad Things Are

Life can be tough. Your boss sucks, your wife hates you, your kid’s a brat, you’re out of shape, you can’t get a date, and on and on.

Everyone is dealing with difficult shit.

A great mastermind will not sugar coat or pretend these problems don’t exist. On the contrary, a mastermind group is designed to bring these difficult truths to the forefront.

But in a mastermind, we don’t got stuck in a space of “poor me.” Instead we look clearly at the problems and develop an immediate action plan to improve the situation.

Was it Kierkegaard or Biggie Smalls who said, “Mo Money, Mo Problems?” The point is that struggle, problems, and difficulties are simply a part of life that never goes away. Our choice is in how we handle them.

We don’t want to stew in our problems. Instead, we want to challenge each other to move forward, take actions, and support each other as we do it.

Then we celebrate. But the last thing a mastermind provides is an environment of, “poor me, my life it tough.”

A Place to Only Take and Never Give

Oftentimes people join groups with the mindset of, “maybe this will help me make more money. Maybe someone here can get me a better job. Hopefully I can sell these guys my product.”

Or, less obvious, but probably more insidious are the members who continually seek help from all the other members without ever offering to support or challenge in return.

Here’s what’s unique about a mastermind group: the growth you get out of a mastermind is directly proportional to what you give into the group. If you come with a selfish mindset, you’ll likely leave disappointed.

Keep in mind that getting what you need out of the mastermind isn’t the same thing as being selfish.

If you come with an open heart and open mind, you’ll leave with a new family and a new outlook on life.

A Passive Group of Individuals

If you are planning to just sit in the back and take notes at a mastermind, think again. There is no auditing of this course, all members are involved. As I said above, setting goals is important but it’s just a part of the puzzle, you must take action if you want to grow.

Too many of us are trained in the passive model of the school system. A great men’s mastermind doesn’t allow anyone to be passive and simply wait for life to happen to them.

A Place for Casually Committed People, Excuse-Makers, or Flakes

When you join a men’s mastermind, you make a commitment to every other man in the group. You’re committing to growth. You’re committing to supporting and challenging the others members and helping yourself.

These commitments should not be taken lightly. Progress will be slow and awkward at times. Thus it requires serious commitment to push through even when it’s not easy.

If you’re only committed to the group when it’s easy or convenient your progress will stall. Rain or shine, you have to be there for the other members. When commitment falters, trust is lost, and then you’re back to normal life.

A Guru-led Cult

A well-organized men’s mastermind is not a pyramid scheme, or a top-down organization. Yes, you need a facilitator who is dedicated to keeping the meetings on track and some form of consistent organization.

But the organizer’s true role is to create the vessel for members to pour their gifts into. Part of that is providing a well-trained facilitator.

But if members aren’t allowed to question the format or give feedback, that is an immediate red flag. A well-organized mastermind leverages peer-to-peer mentorship. When a guru stands unchallenged, the group ceases to be a mastermind.

Why You Should Join a Mastermind Group

You should join a mastermind group if what you read above spoke to you on a deeper level. If you are still unsure read my previous article on the “5 Signs That it’s Time to Join a Men’s Mastermind.”

Namely:

1. You’re ready to live with purpose,
2. You want a deeper level of self-awareness,
3. You’re ready to grow your impact,
4. You’re ready to be held accountable by other high-performers,
5. You crave passion in your life.

If you feel any of those, remember that tomorrow never comes and there are enough excuses and busy work to fill every day from here until your last.

If you recognize how precious your opportunity to be alive is and want to make use of the gifts you have been given, then it’s time to start the search for a group that will support you on your new adventure.

Why You Shouldn’t Join a Mastermind Group

You shouldn’t join if what you really need is therapy. Misguided mastermind groups that focus on therapy, without the proper, constant guidance of an excellent therapist, often just confuse members and send them down the wrong path.

If you need therapy, get therapy.

A mastermind has a different purpose. Some men join a mastermind and do therapy simultaneously. That’s a great idea. But please do not confuse the two. The mastermind is for relationships and taking action in your life. It’s for making deep, mutually beneficial connections and growing forward.

You also shouldn’t join a mastermind group if you lack at least beginning to become self-aware, high-performing, and impactful. A great group will help you scale these qualities up, but you need at least the framework of these qualities to build upon.

How To Evaluate a Mastermind Group

These days there are countless groups claiming to be masterminds and even more mastermind-like groups. Above, we did a deep dive into what is and isn’t a well-organized mastermind group.

Let’s take a quick run through some of the positive indicators and red flags so you can quickly evaluate any group you come across.

Positive Indicators:

• Members have a diverse set of beliefs and opinions, which provides multiple perspectives you don’t commonly find.
• Differing views and experiences are encouraged and disagreement is accepted.
• There are no promises of easy change, quick fixes, or breakthroughs that solve it all.
• Consistent effort is encouraged versus the search for a silver bullet.
• There’s a clearly defined, systematic approach to help members take action and get results
• There’s a consistent structure designed to leverage other members’ strengths and in-meeting communication

Red Flags

• It’s built around a specific individual and when in session this person’s word will be the final and others in the group will often defer to him/her without question.
• There’s no emphasis on peer-to-peer mentorship
• Rather than self-reliance, you will be expected to follow the leader
• Emotional ‘breakthroughs’ are prized above personal responsibility and consistent action
• Members are constantly certain that they’re one breakthrough away from ‘figuring it out’

There are many more positive indicators and red flags. What did I miss? Leave a comment below or email me at info@mantalks.com to let me know.

How to Choose a Mastermind Group

We live in a world of choice. Masterminds are a burgeoning new industry. But most of the groups you will come across are unprofessional, haphazard, and misguided. As with all things, to be truly fulfilled and to be happy with your ultimate choice requires you to be self-directed.

Here is a process you can lean on to choose a mastermind group:

1. Get clear on where you are right now and what you need most. Write it down, re-read it, re-write it, and make sure you’re crystal clear.
2. Get clear on what you want to get out of a mastermind and why.
3. Evaluate whether or not you can be fully committed to a mastermind group. Are you going to show up even when you don’t feel like it? Are you going to remain open to the ideas of others? Are you prepared to take action every day? Is the financial obligation something you can meet without compromising more important areas?
4. Once you’ve gotten clear and have fully committed to growth, start searching the internet, asking friends, and researching local groups.
5. Ask yourself whether or not the group have clear systems, cohesion, and a history of results.
6. Before you commit, check in with your gut. Is something off? What are the chances that this group will actually work?
7. Interview the organizers. Make sure your questions are answered. Ask them about the history of the group and member results.
8. Before you finally take the plunge, re-evaluate your own level of commitment. Are you ready and willing to do what it takes to grow and change throughout this experience? Are you willing to take a risk in honest communication? Are you willing to give as much as you get? Are you ready and willing to take a leadership role? Are you willing to become someone who takes action and owns responsibility?
9. If you answered yes, then join the group.

Conclusion

The impact of your mastermind experience will come down to two things, 1) your own readiness, commitment, and actions, and 2) the quality, consistency, and system of the group.

The two are equally important, so take the time to look deep within yourself and be fully prepared. Make sure you do your research so you don’t waste your time on groups that haven’t taken the process as seriously as you.

This might seem like a detailed process, but it’s worth the time invested. If you take thoughtful and deliberate steps forward in the process and are fortunate enough to find a quality mastermind group, the personal growth you’ll see will shock you.

This could literally be the most impactful decision you ever make. Don’t take it lightly.

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Connor Beaton is the founder of ManTalks, an international organization focused on men’s health, wellness, success, and fulfillment. Connor is also an international speaker, podcast host, CEO, and leader of ManTalks mission to build a global brotherhood. Before founding ManTalks, Connor had a brief career as an opera singer and worked at Apple, leading high-performance sales and operations teams. Connor has spoken on stage at TEDx, taken ManTalks across North America and been featured on platforms like Forbes, Influencive, HeForShe, The Good Men Project, UN Women, CBC, CBS, and the National Post.

Zander Robertson is ManTalks blog editor, head of marketing, and all around content guy. Before joining ManTalks, Zander worked as a ghostwriter where he designed, outlined, interviewed, wrote, and edited non-fiction books for entrepreneurial and personal growth focused clients. Zander has written more than 25 books for clients, including some bestsellers. These days, he exclusively handles digital marketing and media for ManTalks’ diverse projects, including this website and the Real Talk Summit. You can reach him at zander@mantalks.com