Empathy retro
to increase emotional literacy and trust within a team
To warm up participants to the idea of talking about their emotions at work I like to quote Karla McLaren from her book The Art of Empathy: “An emotion is a physiological experience or neurological program that gives you information about the world.” Emotions are feedback and it would be silly to ignore them when we are trying to improve our collaboration.
Setting the stage — Know your neighbor
How is working in your team for the person on the left of you?
Gather data — Emotion intensity grid
Articulate emotions you had in the last x weeks and place them on the emotion intensity grid (x-axis: emotions, y-axis: intensity). The categorization of emotions is adapted from Karla McLaren’s emotional vocabulary list. Here are labels (with German translations) to print and put on a wall if you do this in person.
Anger
🟢 Annoyed, Frustrated, Impatient, Irritated
🟡 Angry, Mad, Offended, Sarcastic
🔴 Aggressive, Disgusted, Furious
Fear
🟢 Alert, Cautious, Curious, Doubtful
🟡 Afraid, Startled, Unsettled
🔴 Horrified, Panicked, Shocked
Happiness
🟢 Hopeful, Open, Peaceful
🟡 Excited, Proud, Satisfied
🔴 Blissful, Ecstatic, Thrilled
Sadness
🟢 Contemplative, Disappointed, Disconnected
🟡 Discouraged, Forlorn, Sorrowful
🔴 Depressed, Despairing, Hopeless
Generate insights — Sensemaking
- What do you see?
- What does that mean?
Decide what to do — Note to self
Thinking back about the discussions, everybody writes a reminder for her- or himself about a change in their own behavior they want to try during the next iteration. It’s for quiet self-reflection and is not shared with the group. They take their respective sticky notes with them to their desk and put them in a place they will look at often.
Closing — Know your neighbor
Know your neighbor: How was this retro for the person on the right of you?
Riffs
- Swap emotional categories: For instance with Shame or Envy for teams that are practiced with vulnerability.
Shame
🟢 Awkward, Humble, Speechless
🟡 Embarrassed, Intimidated, Regretful
🔴 Degraded, Humiliated, Stigmatized
Envy
🟢 Insecure, Protective, Vulnerable
🟡 Envious, Threatened
🔴 Greedy, Possessive, Resentful
2. Make wishes to each other about behavior changes instead of a note to self. Make sure to phrase these as requests not as demands (as defined in NVC). Check in with yourself: If you are upset when someone declines your wish it was a demand, not a request.
I feel most comfortable doing this retro format with teams that have established a basic level of trust amongst themselves and with me. In my experience, this format can raise the quality of empathy and connectedness substantially within a team.
This together with all other concepts on this blog is nicely bundled up with 88 visualizations, 37 videos, and 11 templates in my New Work by Design Transformation course. Helping you put New Work into practice for less than the price of a consulting day.
