On success
What is success? In my experience, people define success by their achievements in a mix of the following items. The order and weight of these items seem to be personal preference.
- Impact
- Wisdom
- Time
- Health
- Happiness
- Sex
- Love
- Money
- Fame
- Power
These things are used to measure success but pursuing them directly seems to make them unethical, more difficult, and/or less fulfilling to achieve. The people I admire seem to have reached them as a by-product of other things they pursued.
- Impact ← purposeful work
- Wisdom ←enjoyment of learning from others and contributing to other’s growth
- Time ←freedom from obligations — from what others think about them
- Health ←enjoyment of regular exercise
- Happiness ←values aligned behavior and action in service of others
- Sex ←authentic vulnerable relationships
- Love ←authentic vulnerable relationships
- Money ←purposeful business
- Fame ←contributions that are valuable to others
- Power ←inspiring others with a worthy cause that is bigger than themselves
The things on the left ensue by pursuing the things on the right.
Looking at the top deathbed wishes, it seems in the end we wish we had focused more on the things on the right.
Note to self: Don’t wait until the end to realize you played the wrong game.
Trade-offs
Every single one of these items is hard work. Each requires time, energy, and willpower to pursue. It is highly unlikely to excel in all of them. Deciding which items to invest my energy in now means making trade-offs between them.
I understand self-actualization as being aware of and consciously making these trade-offs. As well as being content with my choices between these trade-offs.
Moving to the things on the right
How to move from pursuing the things on the left to pursuing the things on the right.
- Defer gratification with helpful habits
- Think systemically and holistically
- Take responsibility by acknowledging your contribution to your situation
Disclaimer: These are my personal observations. I am no expert in this matter nor do I have a strong opinion on this. I am publishing this here for feedback and reflection.
