I Want to Start a Movement: Consider What Patterns You Might Change

This week’s blog is last of a four-part series on The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier. We have been exploring the advice in this book and using three P’s as reminders of what to consider when evaluating a challenge. Thus far we have explored people and project, and in this piece, we’ll discuss pattern.

We all have patterns that we adhere to every day, and several of them are really valuable habits to follow. As I started to make a list of my own, I found more than I expected. I get up every day at the same time; I brush my teeth at the same time; I start every day by checking my email; and end my day by asking my husband when I get home if he got the mail. Making this list started to feel like that rush I got as a kid going down a hill on a sled — moving faster than I could keep up! I was thinking of so many patterns in my mind, that I was having trouble typing fast enough to get them all written down.

While it was interesting and kind of fun to pinpoint my patterns, what happens when they are no longer helpful or no longer moving me forward in where I need to go? Habits — as we know — take time to create and time to change; it all starts with deciding that the pattern needs to change.

Patterns exist in several forms; there are patterns of words or responses, and patterns of behavior. Both can get in the way of your success. Here is an example of a pattern challenge:

Mary has three clients she sees every day. Each one needs something a little different from her time, but she enjoys each unique challenge. Mary completes and submits her time-in and time-out record as she goes along; but her supervisor is frustrated with her performance. Mary does not turn in the notes that go with her time records. Each note takes about five minutes per person. By the end of the week, it is not uncommon that Mary has 15 notes she hasn’t completed.

This is a clear case of a pattern challenge that you can consider using the coaching mindset to address. What would you do in the conversation to help Mary identify her patterns? What is Mary’s role in creating a new pattern? Here is another example of a pattern challenge:

Pete has worked at KenCrest for twenty years. He has great attendance; he remains on task; and he gets things done. When things go wrong, he is quick to find someone or something at the root of the cause; and it is always out of his control. He is fond of saying things like “I am happy with my job and I work hard;” and then in the next breath, “if that other department would be more respectful of my work, I would get more done.”

As we consider a coaching mindset for this challenge, what would you do to see Pete take charge of what frustrates him? What is his role in changing his language pattern to change his approach?

When I was learning this way of thinking, I found myself wondering on a regular basis how my behavior and language patterns were getting in the way of my success and the success of others. I felt responsible for myself in a new way. It’s time to go back to your latest challenge; apply all three P’s and see how you can reimagine success!