I Want to Start a Movement: Let’s Be Kind and Courageous With the People

This week’s blog is part two of a four-part series on The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier. If you have done your homework — it’s time to grab your notes; let’s start by looking at the “people” side of work.

When we talk about someone’s work, we use a variety of words; and we decide what we will do or say based on the words we choose. Consider the common way that we all worry — as we approach a challenge or conflict that relates to other people.

We all have the tendency to talk the language of frustration and confusion; in those moments consider these common experiences:

· That person has been trained and trained again, and still is not doing the work correctly

· That person is clueless, doesn’t know what kind of negative impact that their work performance is causing

· That person can’t get it

· That person won’t do it on time(correctly)

· I am frustrated with you or someone else, and don’t know what to do next

· That person is not technologically competent

Is one of the aforementioned expressions similar to the frustrations or judgments reflected in your notes? Take a moment to pause and believe that the ‘person’ wants to do a great job, provide a valuable service, and do the right thing.

Now plan your approach — you will sit with the person and ask questions. Which question or questions do you think will get you started in gaining clarity? See how this can turn into a win-win for both of you. Consider using the following prompts and questions:

· Please show me how you go about your/this task

· Is there something about this task/process that could improve how it’s completed?

· How does what you do impact another department or team member?

· Is there anything which makes this task hard to complete?

· Let’s look at the results of the task/process; what do you think can improve our results?

· Everyone needs support; is there anything I can do to better support you?

· Everyone needs a little recognition; how well does our department appreciate our efforts and your efforts?

· Ask yourself, and then maybe that other person — how well do you work together? Do you feel like they have an “open door” rapport with you? Do you feel as if you have the freedom to make suggestions and ask questions?

· Ask the person why this work is so important to our success as an organization

Listen and learn; this may take more than one conversation. The behaviors that need to change are every bit as likely to be your behaviors as they are the other person’s. That is why this type of work is both courageous and kind; you must be willing to open yourself to be opened to in return.

This “P” was for people and the first of the three elements of coaching; next week we will tackle project — the work we are hoping to achieve. Get ready, and hold onto your notes!