Exercise your demons by embracing them

dealing with your inner turmoil, because everyone has some

M A S H. 🐙
Sep 1, 2018 · 5 min read
Fashion designer, Alexander McQueen, during his Highland Rape show

The past few weeks have been incredibly eye-opening and educational for me. I’ve spent most of my time exploring the city and attending events. I’ve gone to a handful of talks and have seen quite a few documentaries at Hot Docs. One of the documentaries struck a significant cord for me- Alexander McQueen. It details his brilliance in fashion, along with the tumultuous moments in his life.

The film unravels by first emphasizing his humourous personality, his life as a student living off of unemployment to fund his shows, and later transitions to showing the glitz and glamour of his career. Leaving the theatre, my mind was buzzing; I couldn’t get specific quotes, moments, and points out of my head- how was such impeccable beauty able to emerge from wounded roots?

“The darkness created genius.”

This is one of the quotes from McQueen’s closest friends, and it stuck with me throughout the entire film. He was nicknamed Alexander The Great in fashion, considered the Bad Boy from England, and the person taking the fashion industry by storm. His clothes moved in a way unlike any other; the shapes were breathtaking to see, and show setups were nothing short of awe-inspiring. In that same headspace that produced all those genius and revolutionary moments, there was an abundant amount of gloom and despair.

When McQueen was a child, he witnessed his older sister — someone he was incredibly close to — be abused by her husband. He saw her being hit and strangled. To add to his own trauma, he was sexually abused by that same man.

He pulled the black soot from inside himself and spun it on a spinning wheel to create some of the most compelling and elaborate designs the fashion world has seen- styles that would always invoke an emotional and intrinsic gut response. He was quoted as saying that he doesn’t “want to do a show feeling like you just had Sunday lunch,”that he wanted his audience “to feel repulsed or exhilarated.” He wanted to invoke emotions that were otherwise subdued or not often felt- making his audience experience the unfamiliar.

Alexander McQueen and Isabella Blow, ‘Burning Down the House’

Embrace your demons…

There’s a lot to be taken away from the way McQueen worked and lived his life. One of my two essential takeaways from the film is that you need to embrace what you think holds you back- peoples greatest weaknesses tend to be one of their biggest strengths. This is a concept that McQueen seemed all too familiar with during his fashion career. By embracing them, you can start to do the following:

Your experiences are your own- no one in existence can say that they’ve had the exact same upbringing, love stories, infatuations, and encounters as you — this is where you have the opportunity to authentically draw from those happenings and will an idea or concept into existence.

When you’ve gone through hardships, people typically have a newfound appreciation for the simple things in life. This provides the opportunity to extend a helping hand — or listening ear — to others. You know how far down the rabbit hole someone can go, so you’re more equipped to pull others out of it if you get the chance.

Being at rock bottom is the best place to be- as cliche as it sounds, there’s nowhere to go but up. You’ve seen how grim life can be and shouldn’t be afraid of what else is out there.

“Going to the depths of ones mind, you start loosing who you are and it starts to become a place you can’t get out of.”

When questioned about his inspiration, work habits, style and influences, a commonly say to “know [him], look at [his] work.” McQueen drew from the darkest regions of his soul and bared his gut-wrenching truths on the catwalk — from Highland Rape to VOSS — for everyone to witness. His past, filled with contempt, ignited a desire to compel an audience and put outsiders on a pedestal. This transcended into his artistic performances and creation of unique styles. Despite the greatness of his work, his inspiration slowly turned into his greatest downfall.

“Paranoia, Will Destroy Ya”

— common quote from McQueen to friends

Depression is an interesting experience- it’s not a state of mind that happens overnight, there isn’t a single trigger for its onset, and there is no clear path to take once you acknowledge its pervasive immersion with your life. It’s a slow progression- an emergence of new (or lack of) emotions, conflicting ideas flood your mind, and your actions can turn into inactions, or vice-versa. One point that can be agreed upon is that everyone’s experience is unique.

McQueen had become accustomed to holding his breath when diving deep within himself and reemerging with a fresh new perspective. But like anyone else, there are times when you need help coming back up for air. He slowly turned into a captive in his own mind, infatuated by his ideas, but even more, intertwined with the atrocities he was all too familiar with. This lead to self-isolation, hallucinations and ultimately seclusion.

Embrace your demons… to an extent

Photographed by Nick Knight, Fashion Photographer

Everything in moderation is good- hell, it could be great! Being in-tune with the way you think and how you tick is essential when it comes to your interactions with others. Living your life fully aware of your quirks, mannerisms, personality traits and sometimes nauseating tendencies grants the opportunity to embrace situations and people around you.

The second crucial takeaway from this film is what I just mentioned — embrace people around you. Being self-aware is essential in developing strong relations with others. Being open to conversations and potential criticism from those people will make you stronger, as well as those relationships.

You can create some of the most exciting and compelling work to ever grace our lifetime because of your own unique experiences. Throughout the entire process, it’s important to never forget the people that around you, those you love you, and those who may even tolerate you at times. You can create the fire for greatness, but don’t forget the people who will help fan the flames. They’ll make sure your light doesn’t go out before it’s meant to.

Mash’s Word Vomit

The non-fictional writing of an artist, entrepreneur, and nihilist thinker, with a focus on personal life stories, experiences and what goes on in her head.

M A S H. 🐙

Written by

A combination of thought-provoking ideas, art and existential crises.

Mash’s Word Vomit

The non-fictional writing of an artist, entrepreneur, and nihilist thinker, with a focus on personal life stories, experiences and what goes on in her head.

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