4 Profile Changes That Will Lead You to Better Online Dates

It’s all about the right attitude.

Tesia Blake
Aug 15 · 5 min read

I’ve been dating online on and off for the past two years or so, and I have to say the experience hasn’t always been the same.

In the beginning, I was lost, simply feeling my way in the dark. I made mistakes I didn’t realize were mistakes at the time, but which drastically impacted my results.

I felt what everyone feels, that online dating is a sham, that it’s bullshit, and 100% not for me.

I was feeling pretty discouraged, ready to give up once and for all, until I made a few simple tweaks to my profile that changed everything. I started matching with more interesting people and going on better dates.

My dating life improved drastically, and if you apply these changes to your profile, I’m confident yours will too:

I used to be a shy online dater. I used to think sharing about my preferences and lifestyle was something better left for conversation. My bio used to be very generic. It read along the lines of, “let’s get a cup of coffee sometime and talk about life.” And that was it.

Back then, a lot of my matches didn’t evolve into good conversation. We would talk about generic stuff, such as where we were from, and what each of us did for a living. It used to be generic and bland, just like my bio.

After I started sharing a bit of my preferences, especially favorite movies and music, I started matching with people who have the same tastes. Not only that, but now they have something to come talk to me about. Opening a conversation with something you both like to talk about, like movies and music, makes for a much more interesting dialog right from the get-go.

It is far more exciting to talk about something you both like than to wade through boring, generic “how are you?” questions. When a match messages me, “hey, I see you like X. Isn’t that the best movie ever? Y is in the same style, have you seen it?” I know we’re off to a good start.

Before I started sharing a bit of my lifestyle on my bio, I would match with people who simply did not relate.

I usually wake up early. I’m not a party girl, I drink in moderation and I don’t smoke or do drugs. I’m not used to staying up late for whatever reason. I like walking outside and enjoy the sunshine.

Before I shared any of that on my bio, I would match with men who lived the exact opposite lifestyle, and while they could be good short-term matches, I knew we would never make it in the long run.

After I started sharing a bit of my habits, I started matching with men who’d open the conversation with, “your life style sounds so cool. I also like to wake up early/exercise/spend time outdoors.”

Again, offering people reasons to relate to you from the beginning leads to more interesting matches than hoping someone will like your pictures enough to want to get to know you better.

I used to swipe right far more often than I do now. As a result, I’d accumulate matches, but I didn’t have enough time to actually talk to them all and get to know them better.

As anyone who online dates knows, not all matches actually turn into a conversation, and not all conversations move on to a real date. Online dating is, to some extent, a numbers game, but there’s a limit to how many people you can keep in touch with. I got to the point of having over 40 matches, but I barely had the time and energy to keep up with 5 of them.

Now, I don’t swipe through 30+ profiles in one sitting. I swipe through about 5 to 10, then I stop. Of those 5 to 10, I’ll swipe right on maybe 3, and match with one or two. I’ll focus on talking with those one or two guys for a couple of days, see if any of those conversations turn into a real date, and if the date goes well. If nothing comes of it in 2 to 3 days, I’ll go back to the app and selectively swipe some more.

This tactic has improved my matches by a lot, since I got used to identifying the types of people I tend to get along with based mostly on their bios. Ever since I became more selective with swiping, I’ve managed to convert far more online messaging to in-person dates than before. Being selective is the real trick to get out of the app and get on to something real.

Negative profiles are a huge turn-off for me. I used to give some negativity a pass, not anymore.

What I understand as negativity:

  • “No hookups.”
  • “If you’re not going to say hi, why match?”
  • “Not looking for casual sex, don’t insist.”
  • “If you voted for X or Y, don’t even match.”

When someone demands anything from a match, whether it’s attention (if you match, say hi), or commitment (absolutely no hookups), they come across as negative.

I’m looking for someone who’s interested in meeting new people, getting out of their comfort zone a little and seeing where things go, not someone who’s worried about guaranteeing commitment right from the get-go.

The biggest shift for me has been learning how to relax and take it easy. I’m no longer worried about finding a long-term partner, I’m more interested in meeting new people and seeing where it goes.

That one shift has made the whole online dating process far easier and lighter than I ever thought it could be — and it can be the same for you, if you give it a try.

Mariposa Magazine

A platform for those who have been through major life…

Tesia Blake

Written by

Names have been changed to protect both the innocent and the guilty.

Mariposa Magazine

A platform for those who have been through major life transformations, through vonluntary or unvoluntary change.

Tesia Blake

Written by

Names have been changed to protect both the innocent and the guilty.

Mariposa Magazine

A platform for those who have been through major life transformations, through vonluntary or unvoluntary change.

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