5 Steps to Kiss Imposter Syndrome Goodbye
And give yourself proper credit.
I understand Imposter Syndrome, and I don’t blame anyone who feels it on a daily basis.
“The imposter syndrome is a psychological term referring to a pattern of behavior where people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, often internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud.” — Psychology Today
Having imposter syndrome is outside of most people’s control. It doesn’t sound like a ton of fun, and it’s definitely something one has to work hard to overcome.
For me, personally, self-esteem has been an issue since early adolescence. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I shifted from a happy, confident kid to a self-doubting teenager, but I’m sure it was somewhere between my 12th and 13th birthdays.
And I’ve been struggling to recover ever since.
My self-esteem issues manifested in difficulty to accept I had done something right, even when others told me so.
Despite receiving thanks and praises for whatever I had done, I would keep looking for evidence I hadn’t done as good of a job as others said I had. Whenever I received compliments for a job well-done, I felt like what it had been no big deal, and I didn’t even deserve attention for doing it in the first place.
It took a divorce and a few years of therapy, but I’m finally getting to a point where I can let all of that go and believe in myself again. Believe not only that I can get things right, but that I deserve praise for my accomplishments.
I’m leaving Imposter Syndrome behind as I focus on strengthening my self-esteem, and learn to accept praise for what I do right. I believe anyone can apply those principles, and free themselves from crippling self-doubt.
This is how you kiss Imposter Syndrome goodbye:
1. Recognize what you’re good at — and work with what you’re passionate about
I’ve been a “writer” my whole life. Scribbling on notebooks, writing fanfictions and starting countless failed blogs. But I never took writing seriously enough until I decided that I was going to make it my primarily source of income.
Deciding I would make writing work for me no matter what has literally changed my life. To say I’m passionate about what I do is an understatement. I wake up early and full of energy despite having gone to bed completely depleted late at night. Sometimes, I light up with project ideas at 3 am. Most days, I feel like I can’t stop.
24h is nowhere near enough time in a day for me.
Working with what I’m passionate about assures me I’m doing my very best, not getting results for half-hearted work I feel I could have done better. This is the real deal — and I’m good at it.
I know I’m good at it not because I think so, but because others have told me so, and because I can see the results in front on me clear as day.
When you combine what you’re good at with your passion and you start seeing results, Imposter Syndrome loses a lot of its steam.
2. Recognize the effort you put in
Seeing results, however, isn’t always enough, since Imposter Syndrome will tell you those results are probably caused by luck, or a mistake.
That’s why you have to learn to recognize the effort you put in.
Yes, I work with what I’m good at and passionate about, but I also put in a lot of effort. The sooner you learn to recognize the effort you put in, and how valuable that effort is, the sooner you’ll get rid of your Imposter Syndrome.
3. Act intentionally
Refusing to be a zombie just going through the motions of my day does wonders to keep Imposter Syndrome at bay.
Acting intentionally means I put purpose into everything I do, it means I do my best to not let my brain go into autopilot. Because I’m intentional about my decisions and actions, I’m responsible for their consequences, whether good or bad.
Nothing can make you feel like you deserve success more than feeling like you’re directly responsible for achieving it.
4. Have measurable goals
When I set out to become a writer, I set a clear plan with clear goals. These goals are somewhat flexible, and since I started, I have only added more to the list. The important part about them, however, is that they’re all measurable.
Abstract goals such as “being successful” aren’t helpful, measurable goals, such as making X amount of dollars per month are.
Not everything is about money, but since money is a necessary part of life — and an extremely measurable one at that — it’s not a bad place to start.
Regardless of what you’re measuring, when you recognize the effort it took for you to reach one of your goals, you take another step away from Imposter Syndrome and towards higher self-esteem.
5. Above setting goals, however, focus on making decisions
Having goals can be great — if they’re not too abstract — but making decisions is better.
Sadly, I only have 24 hours in a day, so I have to decide how I want to spend every hour in order to achieve my goals. Focusing on decisions is another way to attract the responsibility for my success to myself, and as a consequence, feel free to accept it as something I do deserve.
As you focus on making decisions, you become to see your success as a direct result of those decisions, and thus you realize how deserving of success and praise you actually are.
Imposter syndrome is real
And it can be tough to deal with, but with the right mindset, it’s possible to kiss that sucker goodbye for good.
I’ve been doing it, and so can you.
