Brow Beaten
My mum had generous eyebrows; my dad had 2 hairy black caterpillars over his eyes.
By the time I went to school, my brows were big, long, dark and flat; though my hair was seven shades lighter. My brows didn’t quite join in the middle, I never had a monobrow, but they were close. They extended to my temples.
I was the smallest child in the school. Back then, fashionable women plucked out the lot and had either a slim tattoo; or a thin curve drawn with a pencil.
On the school bus, I checked out the high school girls’ eyebrows. They had an ultra-thin line of one or two hairs along. I wanted to be like them, instead, I had intense, low brows that made me feel low brow.
Starting high school, I was as pimply as any one you’ve ever seen. Full of teen angst, most of it was about either the zits or brows. The hairs were long, heavy, dark and broody; just like my moods.
Whenever I plucked, it took ages as my eyes and nose would react as if I had a head cold. Eyes would run, tears would flow, I couldn’t stop sneezing and blowing my nose; which always seemed to have an oversized pimple on one side of it.
I under plucked, I overplucked.
The hairs closest to my eye socket hurt the most to take out, often inducing a full blown sneezing fit. I was a mess. One eyebrow could take half an hour, plus 20 tissues.
Ouch.
Tired of weeping, sneezing, moping and seeing my whopping zits so close in the mirror while plucking, I gave up. I washed the razor I used to shave my hairy legs, and took off my brows.
Shaved, I looked bald. I threw all the photos from that period away, so there’s no evidence, but it was a low point. I had 2 inch thin bars for brows that no one could look good with. About ten brow hairs all up each side. What with the oily red blemishes, I resembled an alien life form.
Then everyone at school asked what I’d done to my face.
My top 5 nightmare changes in high school:
1. Big brows became no brows
2. Clear skin became an oozy hormonal pimple problem
3. Small white teeth became the metal mouth
4. Flat chest became “why do all the boys keep staring at my boobs”
5. The happy/dreamy dumb kid became a grumpy/angry teen
After the big shaving incident, my eyebrows grew back in different directions, bushier than before, each hair longer. After months of stubble brows too short to pluck, I saw my favourite aunty at grandad’s place. She knew beauty, saving me and my face one Sunday afternoon.
In the 1970’s she was the number 2 executive at Helena Rubenstein; her dark hair slicked back into a neat bun. Aunty had perfectly arched brows, dark lashes and matt red lipstick. She plucked my brows so fast my eyes didn’t have time to water. For the first time, they had shape.
At university, then working on radio and TV around Australia, I managed my brows okay. They were still heavy on the inside but were plucked into long straight lines out to the sides. I got used to tidying, combing (yes, I combed them with a baby toothbrush!) and sneeze-inducing plucking. In my 20’s, I coped as well as any girl gets used to coping with the things she barely coped with in high school.
Married at 24, my first baby at 26, second at 28, I sometimes let the brows go strong and free for a bit. Personal grooming took a back step with toddlers, or there would be a fast five-minute pluck and trim effort just before I carted the kids off to preschool.
No much changed in my 30’s once the children went to school, except that I had more grooming time. Occasionally I plucked out a stray, but I had far more rational things than brows to worry about.
At 38, I noticed something weird. My brows finally had arches. Eye muscles must have relaxed, or wrinkles started; whatever the cause, I had curvy ones at last.
I was 42 when my own kids went through the zany I have zits stage, complete with teenage angst that mirrored my own. Caught up with two cringing, cranky teens, who refused any intervention from their mother with regards to skin care, (I mean, what would she know?) I didn’t notice another brow change. One weekend morning I dug my trusty pink tweezers out to dash out the strays only to find none.
I no longer needed to pluck.
No new hairs at all.
Who would have realised that if you pluck your wayward brows for thirty years, they remain in shape, unlike other bits of your body which tend to do the opposite?
Oh, and the brow arch, well it became even more pronounced?
Both good things, and face it ladies, when you hit your forties you need a bit of good news to balance out all the other aging crap.
I my 50’s, I’d like to offer more good eyebrow news; unfortunately, there isn’t a lot. Those heavy brows I hated, shaved, trimmed, sneezed at and plucked had grown sparse; what was there turned salt and pepper.
It happened about the time I saw the film “Me, Before You”. Cue Amelia Clarke.
She is a stunning actor, incredibly talented, but it appears she has a really good set of natural eyebrows too. And 2 unbelievably high arches. In “Me Before You” her eyebrows deserved their own agent after bobbing up and down, sometimes independently of each other. Big brows actually suit Amelia; strangely, they go with her lush lips and 10 out of 10 smile.
The Casting Director of “Game Of Thrones” must have enjoyed heavy duty eyebrows. Not only does Amelia star as Daenerys, but she is joined by Masie Williams who plays Arya Stark. And Masie has even bushier natural brows.
The fashion world has caught on with supermodels like Cara Delevigne as well. Cara has a mighty set of hedgerows growing strong and proud, yet she always looks nothing short of exquisite.
When I no longer have whopping eyebrows, and the few bits I have are quite white, big brows are finally in vogue.
I don’t want to stay browbeaten.
The only thing I can do now is embrace change.
I’ve purchased a brow kit.
It comes complete with
3 stencils,
brow powders,
tweezers,
brow gels,
brow wax,
brow fixing gel,
brow tamer
and applicators.
I’ll never get those long dark bushy pair I had back.
I’ve been a primary school teacher for a long while, mostly with kids aged 5 to 9.
Besides telling them stories, I really do enjoy a good bit of craft work.
Coloring-in never gets old.
It gives my brows a lift and, honestly, it makes me feel better about the rest of me.
