I Joined Match.com and
Didn’t Get the Love I Expected
Where was the help from Match when I needed it?
“How did you meet your girlfriend,” I asked my friend Jared.
“On Match.com,” he replied.
This was not the answer I was expecting.
He’s 29-years-old, kind, good looking and well-employed. Someone you would consider a catch.
Don’t get me wrong. I know a lot of people have tried online dating sites — to the tune of 49,650,000 in the US alone. It just didn’t seem like something I would ever consider. Online dating was not really around the last time I was single. (Which is about 20 year ago. Gulp.)
But Jared assured me that everybody’s doing it.
So I proceeded with actions that I instruct my two daughters never to do:
- I joined something because “everybody’s doing it”
- I put several of my pictures online
- I wrote personal details about myself for my profile including the town where I live and my income
- I arranged to meet a man (aka a stranger) that I met on the internet
I did all of this a few weeks ago.
Now, a handful of online conversations, three dates, several observations about human behaviour and a discovery about where Match goes wrong later, I’m ready to tell you about my experiences so far…
…including how Match could do a more effective job of engaging, nurturing and increasing sales with their users — the people, like me, looking for love. (Some people are looking for other things besides love, of course. But since I’m new to this world I’m holding tight to my optimism.)
I Don’t Know What to Write For My Profile…and I’m a Writer
Wine glass in hand, I start with the sign up process. It was easy.
There’s lots of questions to answer, but they’re multiple choice and straightforward. Questions such as:
- How tall are you?
- Do you have kids?
- What is your relationship status?
They also ask you about the kind of person you’re looking for such as his height, hair colour, interests and education level.
Then we get to the essay portion. This is where you write a little about yourself.
As a copywriter I write thousands of words every week, but I was stumped with this part. I considered a copywriting framework such as PAS or AIDA, but decided that was too nerdy. (I also opted not to include a picture of me wearing my glasses to further avoid the nerdy label.)
I wanted to see what other people wrote on their profiles or to get some tips from Match.com first.
I don’t know why they don’t offer this help. I can’t be the only one who wants to know. I appreciate that I can edit it later, but I really want to know what to do now.
I left my marriage almost three years ago, but have been focused on my kids and building my business. I’ve put off this dating thing for a while. And now Match is making it difficult for me to join?
They do provide an offer to help you with your profile with a series of multiple choice questions, but I didn’t want it to sound like a bot wrote it.
I wrote something quickly, just so I could get in and look around. I hated the feeling of writing a lame profile — my future relationship happiness could depend on these 200 (or so) words.
There was none of this pressure when I was 20. I didn’t need to worry about a profile that accurately expressed who I was. I just had to leave the house and look 20. I also didn’t need to worry about emotional baggage, wrinkles, or if I can go on a date on Saturday because I might be hosting a sleepover for my daughter’s friends.
Time to stop worrying about it, take another sip of wine and look around.
I’m Officially In, But Have No Idea if I’m Doing it Right
A page full of men’s photos appear based on the filters I set.
The first thing that strikes me is that almost all of them use a moniker or handle instead of their real names. I used my first name. Was I supposed to choose something else? I would feel ridiculous calling myself WriterWench75 or SweetDreamsLady.
I decide to try the search function. Except I can’t find a search function. After some looking around I find Help in the dropdown menu under settings.
I search for “profile name,” and get this:
What I want to see is “How to choose your username,” but take a guess on “Username Requirements.”
It’s helpful in explaining the logistical part of creating a username, but it doesn’t tell me what I want to know, which is why would I choose a handle over my real name — or are most of these people using monikers because everybody else is doing it? (I realize I have no right to judge on this score.)
After some more poking around and a few more sips of wine, I realize what I need is a tour. Someone to hold my 42-year-old hand and guide me through this new, exciting and slightly terrifying world.
I don’t want to sound naive or late to the party — I’m completely comfortable and experienced in the online world. I live in the online world. But online dating can make you feel vulnerable. You’re exposing your heart and telling the world about it.
So many questions pop up for me. I can’t find helpful answers. And I’m starting to feel stupid.
I search for video tutorials.
I Need Help, but Can’t Find It
No video tutorials.
Oh, wait.
I get an email from Match.
This must be the start of the onboarding sequence.
Help has arrived.
Except it hasn’t.
It’s a photo like.
Now, I understand what a photo like is, but I wanted some guidance before I clicked respond back.
What if I clicked on that button and found out that the gentleman was my chiropractor or a golfing buddy of my dad’s? Would he get a message saying I’m interested? I was just way too anxious to click with not knowing what was on the other side.
Tired, and a little annoyed, I finished my glass of wine and went to bed. I’ll take another look tomorrow.
It’s Raining Men…and Not Much Else
After a morning run, I hop back on my laptop.
I’ve gotten nine direct messages from men on Match.
The only messages I’ve received from Match itself are a welcome email and a profile approval.
The welcome email contains four buttons, and none of the links take me anywhere useful to learn about using the site.
The profile approval email says I can wink, flirt, message, romance or swap cat videos.
Okaaaay. How does one wink or flirt here?
I review the emails I received from men on Match. Most are messages looking to start a conversation — they are generally polite and gentle. Some are just plain weird. Like the one that talks about howling from treetops. (Really.)
I got a wink!
Well, that’s nice. But I’m still a bit apprehensive about clicking.
I know I need to get over it and jump in.
Then I see the bottom section of the email that people who use Match are 3X more likely to find a relationship. This sounds interesting and makes me think there will be an article of some kind. Something to help orient me in the Match universe, so I click.
No such luck. It just takes me to my dashboard.
I do a bit of exploring and decide to like a few photos. I even send a direct message.
It looks like I need to navigate through this unknown territory on my own.
Match Meet Onboarding, Onboarding Meet Match
I’d love to introduce the two of you. I think you can do great things together.
Successful onboarding can educate and guide the reader. It can engage them in your product, so they use it more often. It can also increase your sales.
It’s a win win. A relationship with benefits.
The term onboarding is most often associated with trial users of SaaS products. It’s meant to convert users into paid customers. The principles of onboarding can apply to any type of product or service however, including Match.
I chose the paid version of Match, although you can choose not to which gives you fewer features.
Match should want to effectively onboard and nurture their users. Whether they want to convert the non-paying users to paying or the paying users to purchase add-ons.
The site has all sorts of options for upgrades such as going in undercover mode or boosting your profile, but there’s no copy to encourage the click. No emails to educate about how a boosted profile can improve your chances at finding the one.
People want to know not only how to use your product, but what their lives will look like when they do. Especially on Match where users are looking for love, validation, friendship and connection. Match users are baring their souls after all — not looking to save time and money on their accounting software.
When I signed up I wanted to know what to do. And then what to do after that.
I wanted to know that I was safe.
What is The Aha Moment for Match Members?
The aha moment with onboarding refers to the moment when users realize the value your product brings to their lives.
For me the aha moment was when the gentleman I messaged replied — we had a nice online conversation and set up a date. But I’m not sure if this is the experience of other Match users. I’m wondering if Match knows what their aha moment is.
Once users reach this moment, they’re more likely to stick around and use more often.
Maybe Match is so successful that they don’t feel the need to onboard or nurture their customers.
They just might be. Their sales and revenue have steadily increased from 713 million in 2012 to 1.22 billion in 2016. They have more than 1000 employees and the service is available in 38 languages.
According to Statistic Brain there are 24,575,000 Match users.
That’s a lot of people looking for love, amour and liebe all over the world.
But don’t they want to do even better?
This Could Be the Start of A Beautiful Relationship: A Better User Experience for Members and More Growth for Match
With so many Match members, the opportunities for conversions is enormous.
As a copywriter and marketing strategist, and especially as a Match customer, I don’t understand this lack of email nurturing. It’s such an effective way to build a relationship with customers. Something as simple as a well-crafted welcome email can result in an increase of 320% in revenue when compared to other promotional emails.
The return on investment for email is huge — on average for every dollar spent, $38 can be expected back.
If I were writing their email copy, I would start with a welcome email that connects emotionally and builds trust. Match, out of everyone, should know how important first impressions are.
I would also give only one call-to-action. Giving people too many things to do often results in them not doing anything. They don’t know where to start.
Give us one thing to do. The next email can give us something else to do. Each email gets us closer to what we want to achieve and Match closer to more dedicated customers.
In the first ten days when engagement and optimism are high I’d show new Match members how to be successful on the site.
We are there to meet a potential mate. To ask someone to consider us just the way we are.
And not to be maudlin, but it doesn’t get much more vulnerable than this. Match has the chance to be the virtual wingman, facilitating the meet, giving the pep talk and encouraging the connection.
Great email copywriting can educate Match members about what works and what doesn’t. Take us by the hand and show us around.
And most importantly help us see what our lives will look like two weeks or two years from now. Are we playing the field? Spending less time with Netflix and our box of wine? In a rewarding long-term relationship?
Great copy can be the crystal ball for Match members and show what’s possible. Get us excited about the potential our future holds.
And when we’re excited about our future? Just try and stop us from clicking (and paying for) an opportunity to make that future happen.
On My Own For Now
I don’t know how long I’ll stick around with Match — I’m a few weeks in and still learning how things work.
I know I would find it more manageable with some better support from Match in my corner. Someone to show me the way.
An effective email sequence can do this. It can also create loyal, committed customers.
But for now, I will explore this new world on my own.
Wish me luck.
